Remember Me
Series: Part IV of Not On My Watch

Rated NC-17 language, violence and m/m sexual situations
Archive: Allslash, Archive X, TER/MA, All Things Rat, Den of Sin, Slashville. Anywhere else, please ask me first.

Summary: Bad things happen when Skinner makes an unwise decision based on his hatred of Alex. Kids...uh, hey, kids? I know it looks bad, but put the pitchforks and torches away and just keep reading, okay? I mean, there are four hundred and someodd pages here. Something good has got to happen *sooner* or later, right?

Disclaimer: Mulder, Krycek, Scully, Skinner and Cancer Man belong to CC. All other characters belong to me. Hey, CC, wanna trade?
Humongous thanks to Ori for having the patience to beta this thing. You've gone way above and beyond the call of duty on this one, and I couldn't be more grateful. As always, huge thanks and smoochies to Nic and Ori for much enthusiasm...even when said enthusiasm would occasionally manifest itself in the form of threats! I really enjoy them, anyway. Sue was hollering for yet another club scene, so, here ya go, Sue!

Feedback is always most welcome! I like being stroked and petted and loved and...wait....that's Fox. Well, hell, I like it too. You can reach me at MMCUSN@aol.com

********************
Remember Me
by Aries

Prologue
********************

The early autumn sun washed the open field in its warm glow, spotlighting the lone, dark figure amongst the pillars of white. As motionless as the slabs of stone, the figure stared unblinking at the mahogany casket.

Only a short time ago, the field had been dotted with color, the hallowed silence broken by the sounds of rifle fire, a lone bugler playing taps, and a somber voice offering to a grieving mother the thanks of a grateful nation.

Family and friends offered their condolences and slowly faded away, leaving three people huddled together in their grief, and one who would now forever be alone.

The mother watched through a haze of tears as, oblivious to their presence, the solitary figure slowly approached the mahogany casket, dropping to his knees in front of it, and rocked back and forth. The mother looked to the woman beside her.

"Who is that?"

The younger woman drew a deep breath then spoke. "That's..."

A hand on her arm made her cut off her words, and she looked up to the male in their small group. He gave her a tiny shake of his head, but she would not be dissuaded.

"He never would have lied to her if she'd asked him." She placed her hand on the mother's back, stroking gently.

"...That man was your son's lover. His name is Alex."

********************
Five days earlier
********************

Fox stood fidgeting impatiently as the elevator made its slow ascent to the fourth floor.

He sighed heavily and leaned his head against the wall.

One day he was sure the damn thing was going to just stop in mid-climb, and with his luck, he'd be the one stuck inside.

Now if Alex was stuck in there *with* him...

He'd begun to smirk, considering the possibilities, when the elevator lurched to a stop and the doors wheezed open.

He stepped into the hall and strode toward apartment forty-two, almost colliding with Alex as he threw the door open. Fox jumped back and cursed softly.

"You scared the shit out of me."

Alex shifted the bag of garbage from one hand to the other and gave his lover a disappointed pout.

"That's a nice greeting."

"Sorry." Fox stepped forward, slipping an arm around the younger man's waist, and laying a long, tender kiss on his mouth. "Better?" he asked, pulling away just far enough to look into Alex's eyes. The other nodded and initiated a second kiss. When they parted, Fox asked him how long he'd been back.

"About fifteen minutes," Alex answered then hefted the bag, wrinkling his nose. "Not a minute too soon from the smell of this. Is this the same garbage from when I left three days ago?"

"Nooo." Fox stopped, looking into space. "Well, wait..." He looked back to his lover, grinning sheepishly. "Yeah, you know, it might be."

Alex gave him a deadpan expression then walked off toward the trash chute, mumbling.

"Can't leave him alone for more than two days..."

Fox grimaced and rolled his eyes, turning toward the door, and Alex's voice followed him.

"I *saw* that."

The grimace turned to a grin, and Fox entered the apartment, removing his outer coat and suit jacket, and, not daring to toss them over the back of the chair, hung the coat up in the closet and took his jacket into the bedroom.

As he was unknotting his tie, Alex appeared behind him and reached around, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Miss me?"

Fox smiled and closed his eyes, letting his lover undress him. "Of course, I missed you. What happened? You said you'd be gone a week."

"Yeah, I know." Alex finished with the buttons and slipped the shirt off. "Ran into a bit of a roadblock. No biggie, but it's going to be a couple of days before I can finish. So," he purred, pulling Fox's undershirt out of his pants and sliding his hands underneath, "I thought I'd come home...spend the weekend with my baby."

"You're so sweet."

"Yes, I am." Alex lay his head against the older man's back as he continued to stroke his chest. "You hadn't made any plans this weekend, had you?"

Fox smirked. "Well...actually, I had made a date."

Alex lifted his head, and one corner of his mouth slanted upward. "Is that so?"

"Yeah. See, Skinner's got these new flavored lubes, and...*ouch*!"

Alex grinned, gently skimming his fingertips over the nipple he'd just twisted. "That hurt?"

"Yes!"

"Good."

Fox turned and wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist. "You know I was just yanking your chain."

"Mmm hmm." Alex leaned in and nuzzled his lover's neck. "I got something else for you to yank."

The sound that came from Fox's throat was something of a cross between a laugh and a groan. "I'll remind you that you said that a little later."

"*Later*?"

"Yeah." The older man pressed a couple of kisses into his lover's hair. "I'm starving. *And*, I got something I want to talk to you about."

Alex growled into Fox's shoulder. "All right. What do you want for dinner?"

"I don't know...hey, it's Friday...wanna go out?"

"Out to dinner?"

"Yeah." Fox began to sway, gently grinding his hips against the other man's. "Maybe a little dancing..."

A wicked grin tilted the corners of Alex's mouth, and he began to move with his lover. "We haven't been out in a long time."

"I know." Fox placed a hand over the younger man's ass, pulling him in closer. "Sound good?"

"Sounds great."

"Well," Fox rumbled against Alex's mouth, "let's go get ready."

"Yeah...hey, wait. What'd you want to talk to me about?"

"I'll tell you at dinner." Fox took his lover's hand and led him to the bathroom. They showered together, taking the time to work each other into a high state of arousal, then got dressed and left. Alex's laughter drifted through the living room and into the hall as Fox opened up the closet door and grabbed a blanket on their way out.

********************

They chose a casual pub near the club and settled down to a light dinner.

"So..." Fox speared a tiny red potato and looked up at Alex. "Have you ever heard the name Henry Lieber?"

The younger man raised his eyebrows. "Yeah. I've heard it. He was a doctor. Neurology..."

"*Was*?"

"Yeah. Well, as far as I know, the guy is dead. He was on the Consortium payroll, but he'd double-crossed them somehow, and they made him go away. I don't know any of this firsthand, it's just what I heard."

"What else did you hear? What was he doing for them?"

"Sick shit. To say that he fucked with people's minds would *not* be merely a figure of speech. He was doing all kinds of experiments. Stuff no reputable doctor would ever attempt...why do you want to know?"

"According to the information I got today, the good doctor is still alive and very busy."

"Doing what?"

"Brain transplants."

Alex cocked his head. "Brain....transplants..."

"Lieber is apparently attempting to transfer the brain of an E.B.E. into a human head."

"*Why*?"

Fox shrugged. "Because he can? Seriously, I have no idea. This is what I've got to find out."

"Fox...assuming that Lieber is still alive and doing what you heard he's doing, that's gotta take a whole truckload of cash. Who the hell would be bankrolling....oh...wait..."

Fox nodded. "I know what you're thinking. Rumors of his death were leaked by the Consortium."

Alex nodded. "Then they could cloister him in some out of the way place where he could continue his work undisturbed. Where does your information say he is?"

"The mountains of Vermont. He's supposedly been there for the last two years. Scully's due back from Quantico on Sunday. I'm going to talk to her then about booking a flight."

Alex chewed on the inside corner of his lip and drummed lightly on the table. "Do me a favor, babe, and let me run a check first. I know somebody in their research stable. Let me see what I can find out about it before you go up there. The more information you have, the better, right?"

Fox smiled, recognizing the concern in the younger man's voice. "Okay, go ahead and check it out." He reached across the table, foraging through Alex's plate with his fork, and pulled out a piece of chicken. The younger man watched, chin resting in his palm as the chicken disappeared into Fox's mouth.

"Good?"

"Yeah." Fox reached for another piece. "Why is it that no matter what it is you order, it always tastes better than what *I* get?"

"It's all in your head."

"Is not."

Alex stared at the other man, shaking his head slowly. "Okay. Want to switch?"

Fox smiled over at him. "Do you mind?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course, it does."

"Okay, I mind."

"No, you don't." Fox switched plates and dug into the chicken.

"Yeah, I *do*. That chicken is really good!"

"I know."

"I've shot people for less, Mulder. Did you know *that*?"

Fox puckered his lips, making soft kissing noises.

"Don't do that."

"What?"

"*That*." Alex waved his fork at his lover. "That kissing thing."

"Why not?"

"Because it makes me want to drag you up on this table and fuck the life out of you, that's why not."

Fox shook his head, giving Alex a smug grin. "Not tonight, babe."

"What's that?"

"Nothing. Eat your dinner."

"You mean *your* dinner."

"Not any more. You traded with me, remember?"

"I didn't trade with you. You *took* it."

"You wanted me to have it."

"Oh, did I? Well, thanks for telling me. Up till now, I thought I was enjoying my own food."

Nearly half an hour later, they had finished eating and were on their way to the club they'd visited only once before.

Fox pulled into the parking lot and smiled over at his lover. "You've been kind of quiet. Still brooding about your chicken?"

"No," Alex mumbled, staring down at his hands.

"Yes, you are." Fox leaned over, stroking the other's stubbled cheek. He kissed a path along Alex's jaw and lingered at his ear, delicately probing the sensitive interior. "I'll make it up to you," he moaned softly, making the younger man's eyes drift shut and his body shiver.

"Yeah? How?"

Fox pulled back a bit and smiled. "I'll think of something. Come on. Let's go."

He threw his door open and exited the car, and just as Alex was himself stepping out, Fox came around to the passenger's side and pressed him into the side of the car. "You know what?" he asked, his lips grazing his lover's.

Alex moaned softly, writhing against him. "What?"

Fox slipped a hand between then, caressing the bulge in Alex's jeans. "I'm seriously tempted to fuck you right here against the car."

Alex's hips jerked against the older man's hand. "Don't expect me to protest."

Fox chuckled lewdly and drew Alex's zipper down, slipping his hand inside and brushing his fingers along the solid, velvety shaft. "I didn't think you would." He wrapped his hand around his lover's cock, squeezing in a gentle rhythm. "I think we'll wait, though."

"What," Alex panted softly, "not enough of an audience out here for you?"

Fox looked around the sparsely populated lot, then back at the other man, giving him a Cheshire grin. "All I have to do is rip your clothes off and throw you up on the hood. This entire lot'll be full up in five minutes."

Alex squirmed against him. "I dare you."

The older man shook his head, still smiling. "Some other time. Wouldn't be any fun if the tension was lost, would it?" Even as he spoke, his hand increased the speed of its strokes, taking Alex dangerously close to the edge.

"Fox...oh, shit...baby, I...oh, *God*...what...*no*."

Fox released him and quickly zipped his jeans up, giving him a chaste peck on the tip of his nose. "You didn't think I was actually going to let you come, did you?"

Alex let his head drop back against the roof of the car, moaning in agony. "Sadistic son of a bitch."

"Mmm hmm." Fox licked a trail up his lover's throat, stopping halfway and sucking the tender flesh into his mouth. Alex clutched at his jacket, issuing a pained whimper as he applied more suction, but he refused to let go until he was good and ready. Finally, after a quite a few seconds, he released the younger man, leaving a large, reddish-purple patch where his mouth had been.

"Fox," Alex whispered through gritted teeth, pawing at his shirt, "come on. Please..."

"Nope."

The younger man rested his forehead against Fox's shoulder, whining softly, and he grinned, satisfied. He had Alex just where he wanted him, and now it was time for a little fun. He slapped his lover on the hip and took his hand, pulling him toward the entrance.

"Not too crowded," he observed as they walked in, checking his watch. "Of course, it *is* still a bit early." He leaned to his left and pressed a kiss to Alex's temple. "Let's get something to drink."

The two men walked to the bar, and Fox ordered a couple of beers. Bar traffic was light, and they received their drinks immediately. Fox gathered the two bottles together in one hand and placed the other at Alex's back, steering him toward a sofa near the dance floor. He sat first, leaning against the overstuffed arm, and stretching one leg along the length of the sofa while he planted his other foot on the floor. He pulled Alex down between his legs, and the younger man nestled against his chest.

"Comfortable, baby?"

Alex gave no answer. He was too deeply engrossed in watching his lover's lips close around the mouth of the bottle. His tongue flicked at his own lips as Fox tilted his head back and closed his eyes, taking several long swallows. As Fox pulled the bottle away, he leaned in, lapping gingerly at the residual moisture that shimmered on his lover's mouth.

Fox moaned, letting his hand wander up and down Alex's back as the younger man finished licking the beer away, then moved down over his chin and throat, settling down to bathe the exposed skin of his chest. He drained his bottle and set it down, now able to use both hands to caress his lover.

"Alex...baby..."

Alex looked up, reading the deep lust in the amber-flecked eyes, and awaited his lover's word.

"Let's dance."

As Alex had done once several months ago, Fox moved to the most conspicuous spot on the third tier and pulled the younger man into his arms. They moved slowly, in time to the ballad that was playing, Fox's hands roving over Alex's back, and his lips pressing the softest of kisses into his hair.

Alex melted into the older man's touches, practically purring as he rubbed his cheek against his shoulder. They swayed gently, their bodies touching everywhere, and when the music changed to a harder, driving beat, it was some time before they even noticed.

It was Fox who rose first from the sensual fog they'd been immersed in. He slid his fingers through Alex's hair and pulled his head back even as his body pressed closer.

Alex moaned at the feel of his lover's hard cock pushing against his, and he focused on stormy green-gold eyes. Fox trained an intense stare on his lover as his body began a different rhythm, provoking and seducing Alex into identical action. Soon, the two were writhing together, driving each other to a more frenzied tempo.

The air vibrated and the floor shook as all at once, the two men found themselves in the middle of a throng of pulsing bodies. The temperature around them rose noticeably as the crowd pressed closer and closer, and before he knew it, Alex found himself sandwiched between his lover and another man who had boldly attempted to turn the couple into a trio. A possessive flash of Fox's eyes put an end to the man's aspirations, and he slunk away, leaving the men to each other. But the brief incident and Fox's instant reaction only served to arouse Alex further, and he clutched at his lover's ass, rhythmically humping his thigh. His head fell back and his mouth dropped open at the sensations his action generated, but before he could reach a climax, Fox jerked him away, abruptly spinning him around and pressing against his back.

Alex's moans went unheard by all except the one whose body cradled his. He reached back, draping one arm around Fox's neck while the other rested along the one the other man had wrapped around his waist. His head fell back against Fox's shoulder, and he allowed himself to be swept along, becoming one with his lover.

Fox wound his free arm around Alex's neck, rendering his head virtually immobile, and while he rubbed himself against the younger man's ass, his tongue teased the sensitive interior of his ear, pulling a restless groan from the beneficiary of his attention.

Other dancers slowed to almost a dead stop as they watched, entranced by the two who seemed oblivious to all but each other and the music that drove them. Even the disc jockey seemed aware of what was going on below, fading in a harder, more erotic beat and taking the heat a few degrees higher.

Alex's hand left the arm Fox had wound around his waist and curved up and back so that both arms were now hooked around his lover's neck, and he slithered against him, making the bulge in Fox's jeans grow ever harder.

Fox cupped Alex's jaw and turned his face to the right until he was able to take the younger man's mouth in a searing kiss. His hand then dropped to Alex's chest, slipping beneath the leather jacket to caress his chest.

Alex whimpered into Fox's mouth as his lover's hand moved feverishly over him. The cotton of his t-shirt shifted with each pass of Fox's hand, and, soft and worn as it was, it still felt like sandpaper to his hardened nipples. As he began to squirm, Fox clamped his arm around his chest and the hand at his waist skimmed downward over his denim-covered cock then up, undoing the first button on his fly. The second fastening gave quickly, and Fox's hand slid inside. Alex pulled away from his mouth, and he cried out as Fox's fingers curled around his cock and slowly but firmly began to jerk it.

"You want to come for me, baby?" Fox growled in his ear as they continued their wild undulations. He knew the answer as surely as he knew his name, but he so enjoyed hearing his lover beg...

A low mewling sound vibrated in Alex's throat as his body tightened notch by agonizing notch.

"Tell me..."

Alex gritted his teeth and forced himself to speak. "Yes...*yes*. Please, Fox. Want to come..."

Fox pulled his hand out of his lover's jeans, prompting a loud whine of protest. His hand swept upward and under the t-shirt, stroking the smooth, overheated flesh as his tongue mercilessly teased the interior of Alex's ear. "Right here?" he asked, finding a nipple and tugging sharply at it.

"*Yes*."

Fox delivered a stinging bite to the other man's earlobe, making him wince. "You *want* to come in front of all these people, don't you?"

Alex nodded mutely, pushing back against his lover's crotch.

"Fucking slut." Fox brought both hands up to the neck of Alex's t-shirt and pulled, ripping the worn material in two, then spinning him so that they were again face to face. "I love you." Without removing Alex's jacket, he shredded his t-shirt, removing it piece by piece from his body and hurling the scraps at various members of their growing audience. When he'd removed the last bit of material, he grabbed a handful of leather and hauled Alex against his chest. "Do you love me?"

Alex clung to the front of his lover's shirt as their hips moved in unison. "You know I do."

Fox plunged the fingers of one hand into the sable hair and just barely brushed his mouth against his lover's. "Show me."

At least eighty percent of the group dancing on the third tier was now watching as the dark-haired man caught fire, provoking his partner into a ferocious, rhythmic duel. The two thrashed against each other, hands and mouths clinging to hot, slick skin as they careened toward the outer edges of rationality.

Alex pushed Fox beyond that fine edge as he slid down his lover's body, dropping to his knees in front of him. If the music was not so loud, a round of gasps could have been heard as the kneeling man pulled his partner's zipper down and promptly withdrew his cock, sucking the entire length down his throat.

A strained growl ripped from Fox's throat as his fingers sank into his lover's hair, and he began to blindly thrust into his mouth...

The crowd, the blaring music...it all just went away as Fox closed his eyes and let himself drown in the wet heat that now encompassed him. He pushed harder and faster, needing more. So good. God, he needed...

His eyes flew open as Alex tucked him back into his jeans and rose to his feet. Before he could protest, the younger man coiled around him, licking his mouth and jaw.

"Please, fuck me," he begged, nipping at Fox's chin, and before he could make a second request, he was being hauled across the dance floor, moving through the crowd that quickly parted to allow them passage.

They reached the main floor, and Fox stopped short, causing a rear-end collision with his lover.

"*Shit*." He looked around then, before Alex could ask what he was cursing about, he grasped the younger man's wrist and headed for the exit.

"Fox..." Alex strode behind Fox, following his purposeful steps through the parking lot. "Why are we going..."

They reached Fox's car, and the older man shoved Alex against it, tugging at the remaining fastened buttons on his jeans. He jerked the pants down and abruptly spun Alex around, bending him over the hood of the car. He reached a shaky hand into the pocket of his jacket and produced a small tube of lubricant. Quickly, he pulled his own jeans down to the tops of his thighs, stroked the lube on, and pulled Alex's hips back against his.

"Would take too long to get the blanket and go back inside," he explained while he worked his cock inside his lover's squirming ass. "Besides, didn't you want me to fuck you out here?"

Alex clawed at the hood as he felt every inch of his lover push inside of him. "God...oh, God, Fox, please..."

"Let 'im have it!"

Fox's head jerked up and around at the sound of the voice that came from somewhere behind. At least two dozen men had followed them outside and stood in a semi-circle a few feet behind. The one who had shouted at them smirked at Fox.

"Come on, gorgeous. He's begging for it. Do 'im."

Fox turned back and leaned over Alex's back, licking the side of his neck. "We've got company. You wanna take this home?"

Alex growled at the amused tone. "I swear to God, Mulder, if you move a muscle other than to fuck me, I'll rip your dick off."

"Well, isn't that sweet? I guess I'll just take that as a 'no'." Fox drew back and surged forward, pushing Alex up another fraction over the hood. The younger man cried out, sending a hum of appreciation rippling through the crowd behind them.

"Make 'im scream..."

Fox chuckled into Alex's ear as he began to pump steadily into him. "Your fans are making requests."

Alex's brow wrinkled, and he moaned into the pewter metal. He could hear nothing but Fox's voice and the sound of his own cries.

Fox kissed Alex's earlobe then straightened his back and grasped a handful of sable hair with one hand as he steadied his hip with the other. He pulled out halfway then rammed back in, repeating the action again and again, quickly building the pressure in his lower body to an intolerable level. Beneath him, Alex yelped and pleaded for release. His lover's frantic pleas accompanied by the growing shouts of the crowd, worked him into a frenzied state. He increased his pace, simultaneously sliding his hand around to Alex's cock and jerking it in time to his thrusts.

The group held its collective breath as the men against the car tumbled out of control, shuddering and thrashing, their strangled screams rising into the September night air.

Fox's thrusts became erratic then slowed to an intermittent spasm as he emptied himself into his lover. Their screams faded into soft whimpers of exhaustion, and Fox slumped down over Alex's back, resting a moment before pulling the younger man up and readjusting their clothing. He then turned around so that he was the one leaning against the car and Alex was resting against his chest. As he wound his arms around his lover and kissed the top of his head, two from the dispersing group approached. Fox recognized the voice of the man who spoke as the one who was shouting suggestions.

"Not that you need to hear this from anybody else, but," the man began, "you two are totally fucking hot."

Fox gave the man a small grin as he pulled Alex more tightly against him.

The man continued. "I remember you two. You were here a couple of months ago. You set this joint on fire. I think *everybody* got some that night. The regulars were pretty disappointed when we didn't see you for a while."

"We're pretty busy," Fox answered softly, stroking his lover's back.

The other man nodded. "I'm Steve, by the way." He motioned to the other man. "This is my friend Morris. We'd love to buy you guys a drink...you coming back in?"

"We don't share."

Steve looked from the man to whom he'd been speaking, into glittering green eyes. "Hey, I don't blame you," he said to Alex as he turned around and leaned back against Fox. "If I had somebody in my life as hot as either of you, I wouldn't want to share him, either."

Alex looked from Steve to his companion then back.

"Oh...no...Morris is just my friend. We're not *together*. So...you coming back in?"

Alex arched his neck and looked back at Fox, who shrugged then looked at his watch.

"It's not really late, and we've got no place to be tomorrow." Fox kissed the younger man's forehead. "You want to stay a while?"

"Yeah, for a while."

Fox gently pushed Alex away and unlocked the car door.

"What are you..." A broad grin lit his face as Fox pulled the blanket out of the back seat. "Who the hell wound *you* up tonight?"

"You complaining?"

"Did that *sound* like a complaint?"

Fox shut the car door and walked up alongside his lover, slipping an arm around his waist. He motioned with his head to the door, and all four men moved back toward the club.

Morris let out a low chuckle and nudged Steve as they walked. "These guys are my new heroes."

Back inside, they located and claimed a vacant sofa and one chair. As Fox draped the blanket over the leather cushions, Steve found another empty chair a few tables away and pulled it up, sitting beside his friend. He caught a passing waiter and, after getting everyone's drink orders, settled back in his chair and smiled at the couple wrapped around each other on the sofa. "So, you didn't tell us your names."

Alex studied the man's face for a moment, then, obviously deciding that he was okay, spoke up.

"Alex." He looked to the man beside him, gaining a nod of approval, then glanced back at the other two. "This is Fox."

Both men stared for a moment, obviously expecting somebody to tell them that it was a nickname, or short for something else, but when no more information was forthcoming, Morris raised his eyebrows.

"Everybody call you that?"

Fox shrugged. "Very few people, actually. I was never very comfortable with it, so most people call me by my last name. Only Alex and my mother call me Fox."

"So..." Steve cocked his head, staring into the hazel eyes. "...that's the name on your birth certificate?"

"Yeah."

A crooked smile lit the other man's face. "Your mother able to see into the future?"

"How's that?"

"How else did she know that you'd grow into that name?"

Fox grimaced but made no remark. Alex, on the other hand, couldn't let it go by without comment. He turned to the older man and, combing his fingers through the golden-brown hair, smiled softly.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?"

Fox forgot his previous mild irritation and closed his eyes, reveling in Alex's tender touch.

"Gorgeous." Morris heaved a long sigh. "You're one lucky s.o.b...actually, that goes for both of you. You're a perfect match...how long have you been together?"

"We've known each other a number of years, but we only got involved less than a year ago."

Steve gasped in mock horror. "God, what took you so long?"

Fox opened his eyes and gave Alex a smile only they two understood. "Long story."

"Ah. Well, the important thing is you're together now. It would have been a crime if you'd never found your way to each other."

Alex smirked at him. "You don't even know us."

Steve burst into laughter. "I'd have to be deaf, dumb, *and* blind not to realize that you two belong together."

As the group made light conversation, Fox inched closer to Alex until he was practically in his lap, nuzzling and kissing the side of his lover's face and neck.

Finding it more and more difficult to concentrate on what was being said, Alex finally gave up and pulled Fox into his arms, initiating a hard, breath-stealing kiss. Fox squirmed in the younger man's embrace, wanting to get closer, and when Alex finally released his mouth, he found himself in the perfect position to access his lover's chest.

"I think we've been forgotten," Steve murmured to his friend, eyes never leaving the two in front of him.

Alex heard the vague statement and struggled to open his eyes while Fox lovingly bathed his chest. "S-sorry, guys." He swallowed against the sudden dryness that had claimed his throat and petted the golden-brown head that was now over his nipple. He winced as the older man sucked the nub into his mouth and fought to compose himself enough to string more than two words together. "Didn't....ah, *shit*....Jesus, Fox....uh....didn't mean to ignore you."

"S'okay," Morris stopped to clear his throat, then began again. "Uh...we certainly understand. Maybe we should just leave you two..."

"No, Alex interrupted, a sly grin curling his mouth. "No, it's okay. You guys were nice enough to buy us a drink," he purred, gently combing his fingers through his occupied lover's hair, "it'd be rude to just dismiss you..." his eyelashes fluttered, and he released a shuddering sigh as Fox moved to the other nipple, his tongue moving in long, firm strokes over it. "...S-so, how long have you been coming here?"

"Uh..." Steve tore his gaze away from Fox and forced himself to meet Alex's passion-glazed eyes. "About two years. I uh...I met Morris here, actually. We were..." He paused, moistening dry lips as he looked back to the other man and found him slowly moving toward Alex's crotch. "Umm....w-we met at the bar. Turns out we'd both been dumped and, uh....we uh, just sat drinking and commiserating. We became good friends..."

Alex nodded and shifted ever-so-slightly, making it easier for Fox to unbutton his jeans.

"Christ," Steve whispered, watching Fox pull the denim aside then begin licking Alex's cock from base to tip. "What...what about you guys? We've only seen you here once before."

"Yeah," Alex spoke slowly as he attempted to regulate his breathing. "This is...only the s-second time we've...been...here..."

Fox looked up at Alex out of the corner of his eye, gently teasing the tip of his lover's engorged cock, then smiled and swallowed the entire shaft in one fluid motion. At that point, three of the four men gasped loudly, and Alex's hips bucked, raising himself and Fox both a couple of inches off the sofa.

"Oh, my God," Morris moaned, raising a trembling hand to his forehead. "S-Steve, I don't think I'm going to survive this..."

Steve tilted his head to the far right, intently studying Fox. "Shit. I've *never* been able to do that without choking..."

Alex, head thrown back, eyes closed, managed a tremulous grin. "Show 'em how you do it, baby."

Slowly, Fox pulled back from the glistening shaft, placing a kiss at the tip before glancing over at the two men. "First of all," he instructed in that slightly amused, deadpan tone, "you've got to really like the guy you're doing. Willingness to please is a key factor." He paused to take a swipe at his lover's cock, then continued. "Second, is relaxation. If you're not relaxed, it just ain't gonna happen."

The others leaned forward, listening studiously.

"Now," he grinned, "a couple of deep breaths...relax your throat, and..."

Morris whimpered as he watched the whole of Alex's cock disappear past the most luscious lips he'd ever seen. "Oh, God. Oh, shit. Oh, God. Every last, freakin' inch."

Alex would have loved to enjoy the looks on the faces of the others, but he was presently absorbed in the amazing sensations generated by his Fox's mouth gliding up and down the length of his cock. He tangled his fingers in the hair at the back of his lover's head, not to guide Fox, but just for the simple added pleasure of touching him. "That's it, baby," he whispered breathlessly. "Feels sooo goddamn good..."

Fox drew his head up, sucking his way to the top of his lover's cock, then opened his mouth and flicked at the head and underside with his tongue.

"God...no, baby, please. Don't tease..."

As Alex's fingers tightened in Fox's hair, and he attempted to pull him back down, Fox closed his teeth around the head and growled softly, letting Alex know that he was still very much in charge. The younger man immediately submitted, dropping his head back against the cushions and mumbling.

"God, you're going to pay big for this."

Steve moaned at the images that suddenly flashed through his mind. "Oh man, I'd give good money to see that." But he had the distinct feeling that Fox's 'payment' would be made in the privacy of their own bedroom.

Fox released his lover's cock from his mouth and gently rubbed his cheek against it. His eyes drifted open and turned up in the direction of their two-man audience. He gave them a tiny grin and, keeping his eyes on Morris, gripped Alex's cock at the base, swirling his tongue around the head.

Morris dug his fingers into the arm of his chair, and his leg began to bounce up and down. "I can't take it. Steve, I can't, I..."

Apparently he was able to 'take it' a lot better than his friend. He glanced over to find that Steve had already unzipped his pants and was steadily jerking his rigid cock.

"Awww, *fuck*." Morris pulled his own zipper down and went to work on his erection.

Now satisfied that he was about to make three men come, having only touched one of them, Fox sank back down on Alex and concentrated on bringing him to a second orgasm.

"Oh, *yeah*...oh, *God*, yeah," Alex panted as his hips rose and fell. "Don't stop, baby, please...mmmh...please, don't stop..." He thrust twice more into Fox's mouth then went rigid, groaning harshly into the humid air.

Fox swallowed the bitter, vaguely salty fluid, and when Alex finally collapsed, he pulled back, gently cleaning the exhausted shaft then rested his head in the younger man's lap. He smiled over at the two men sprawled in their chairs.

"Is everybody happy?"

Morris did nothing but moan, but Steve lifted his head and spoke up.

"Ohhh, yeah. God, that was better than watching a porn movie..."

Fox kissed his lover's depleted cock then zipped him up. He sat up, kissing Alex's chest, throat, and chin before settling on his lips. Seconds later, he broke the kiss and nuzzled the stubbled cheek. "You alive?"

One eyelid rose, revealing a sparkling pool of green. "Think so."

"Glad to hear it," Fox purred against Alex's jaw. "Cause I'm dyin'."

A lazy smile curved the younger man's lips. "You are?"

Fox gently bit down on Alex's lower lip and pulled. "Like you didn't know...come on, let's go home."

"Home? What for?"

"So you can make me pay like you promised."

Alex stroked Fox's back. "Oh, you've given the last performance of the evening?"

Fox chuckled softly. "Yeah, it was tons of fun, but enough's enough. Let's go."

Alex groaned softly, lifting his head. He focused on the two men who were only just now regaining some of their strength. "I keep telling him we'd make a fortune in porn, but does he listen to me?" Fox smacked the back of his head, knocking loose a soft grunt. "Well, guys, it's been real, but the boss wants to go home now."

Steve nodded. "Okay, we understand." All four men wobbled to their feet and said their good-byes.

"It's been an honor and an education," Morris said, grinning broadly. "I hope we see you guys again soon."

Fox nodded, winding his arms around Alex's waist and resting his head on the younger man's shoulder. "I'm sure we'll run into each other again. Thanks for the drinks, by the way."

"Oh, thank *you* for letting us hang with you a while," Steve replied as he and Morris escorted the other two men to the door. "I had more fun tonight than I remember having in a long, long time."

Hand in hand, the two men moved out into the parking lot and, saying one last good-bye, headed toward their car.

Smiles, waves, and the occasional 'goodnight' greeted them as they walked, and when they finally closed themselves in the car, Alex turned to Fox.

"I think we've made some friends."

"I think you're right."

Once Fox had pulled out of the parking lot, Alex slid across the seat and placed a wandering hand on his thigh. "Have a good time tonight?"

Fox grinned but kept his eyes on the road. "Yeah, I did. You?"

"Oh, yeah. I love it when you're like that."

"Like what?"

"Slutty."

"Looks who's talking."

The younger man laughed softly. "I guess we just bring it out in each other...you enjoyed the hell out of teasing those two guys, though."

"What tease?" Fox asked innocently. "They got off."

"Yeah, but not the way they would have preferred to."

"Alex, you think everybody in the world wants to fuck me."

"That's 'cause they do. And do I have to remind you about how right I was about your boss and your partner?"

"No, that's okay. I think I got it the first few dozen times."

Alex shrugged, letting his hand stroke the inside of his lover's thigh. "Your leg is trembling...how come?"

"Oh, I don't know," Fox answered. "Couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I got you and two other guys off, and I'm still hard as a rock."

"Awww. Are ya?" Alex placed his hand over the prominent bulge in the older man's jeans, rubbing lightly. "Just think cool thoughts. It'll go down."

"Don't fuck with me, Krycek. You're gonna do something about this the minute we get home."

"I am, huh?"

Fox shot him an irritated look and said nothing.

"Okay, well, I do remember telling you that you were going to pay for teasing me."

"That's right...."

"But maybe my idea of payment is letting you suffer."

"And maybe I'll just have to kill you."

"Anybody ever tell you, you get violent when you're frustrated?"

"So, don't let me get frustrated."

Alex inched closer, murmuring in the other man's ear. "But you know how I love living on the edge..." He unzipped Fox's jeans and slipped his hand inside.

Fox took a steadying breath and focused on the road. "Alex..."

"Take it easy, I'm not going to do anything. I just wanted to touch you."

"Yeah, and tease the shit out of me."

Alex wrapped his fingers around his lover's cock and squeezed gently. "Well, you know, what's good for the goose..."

"Prick."

"Yeah, but you love me."

Fox made it home in record time, breaking more than one speed limit, and they burst through the door, tearing at each other's clothing, and not stopping until they were naked and wrestling for dominance on the bedroom floor. The match ended with Fox handcuffed to the bed, legs thrown over Alex's shoulders, and the younger man fucking him like there was no tomorrow.

Alex gripped Fox's hips hard enough to leave bruises as he drove into him again and again, and each time he hit the older man's prostate, a wild scream rattled the windows.

"You like that, baby?" he whispered through gritted teeth and again slammed against his lover.

Fox released another long wail and nodded frantically. "More...please..."

"Never get enough, do you?"

Fox shook his head from side to side. "Never...never enough of you." He opened his eyes and stared up into forest-green eyes. "Love you..."

Bullseye.

God, the man knew how to hit him where he lived. Alex leaned in, moving Fox's legs down to his waist, and covered his mouth in a soft kiss. He pulled back and reached for the key, unlocking his lover's cuffs, and they made love, kissing and caressing well into the early hours of the morning, when they finally fell exhausted and satisfied into each other's arms.

********************

Saturday, noon.

Alex blinked in the bright sunlight that flooded the room, then stretched and looked to this left. A pair of slate-flecked eyes watched him. Tiny lines appeared at the corners of Fox's eyes as he smiled softly.

"Morning."

"I think it's more like afternoon," Fox murmured.

Alex stretched again, purely feline in his movements. "Mmmmm, is it?"

Unable to resist, Fox reached out to stroke his lover's chest. "Yeah, I think so."

Alex rolled onto his side and stared at the older man, contentment radiating from his every pore. Fox grinned at the expression on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just...you're beautiful in the morning."

One golden-brown eyebrow arched upward. "Oh, yeah? I thought everybody but you was hideous in the morning."

Alex laughed softly, shaking his head. "I guess you and I are unique, then." He swept two knuckles across the older man's lower lip. "Get enough sleep?"

Fox looked over at the clock and did some quick calculations. "Let's see, the last time I remember seeing was three-thirty, so......yeah, it's more sleep than I usually get. You?"

"Yeah, I guess, but for some reason, I have no desire to get out of bed."

Fox propped his head up in one hand. "So, what are we going to do, stay here all day?"

Alex slid closer, draping his arm over Fox's waist. "Wouldn't be a bad thing."

Fox growled, moving in toward his lover's mouth. "No, I suppose it wouldn't be so..." The ring of a cell phone interrupted Fox's statement. He looked over to the nightstand at his phone. "Not mine."

Alex pulled a pillow over his face, groaning loudly into it. Only Fox and his contacts had his number. And since Fox was only inches away from him...

He snatched up his jeans where he'd dropped them beside the bed, and pulled the phone from the back pocket.

"*What*? ....When? I thought you said not until....fuck. Fine. And I'll tell you right now, if you fucked up my Saturday for more bullshit, I'm coming to find you." He disconnected and threw the cell over at the chair at the foot of the bed, where it promptly hit the cushion and bounced to the floor.

"You're going to break that thing one day," Fox warned, draping an arm and a leg over the frustrated man.

Alex heaved a harsh groan, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. "Baby..."

"I know," Fox broke in. "It's back on sooner than you expected."

"Yeah. I gotta get a flight out as soon as possible."

Fox moved away quietly and retrieved the phone from the floor. Sliding back up on the bed, he handed it to Alex. "Better call the airport."

Alex whined pitifully, encircling his lover in his arms. "Don't want to."

Fox burrowed into his lover's warmth. "I don't want you to, either, but..."

"I'm sorry, babe."

"I know. Me too." Fox handed the phone to Alex and lay quietly as the younger man made his call. When it was done, he looked up expectantly. "So?"

Alex hugged Fox tightly to his chest and planted several small kisses into his hair. "Four-ten."

"Well, we'd better get our asses moving, then."

As Fox started to move away, Alex caught him by his arm and pulled him back.

"What's the rush? It's only twelve-thirty. All we gotta do is shower and drive to the airport."

"Saturday traffic, Alex. And you gotta be there an hour ahead of flight time."

"That still leaves us plenty of time."

Fox grinned down at him. "For?"

Alex shrugged and rolled the older man under him. "For...stuff..."

'Stuff' lasted almost an hour, and by the time they'd dragged themselves into the shower, it was one-thirty. They got on the road at two and made it to Dulles by three-ten. Alex checked in, and they sat quietly together until boarding time. When his flight was called, he turned to Fox and, giving him a soft smile, gently squeezed his hand and backed away.

"I'll call you as soon as I get there," he promised. Fox nodded, and Alex suddenly remembered one more thing. "I'll get that information for you and let you know what's what, okay?"

Fox nodded again and formed the words 'I love you' with his mouth.

Alex smiled and puckered his lips briefly, sending a tiny kiss Fox's way, then disappeared from sight.

Alone again for who knew how long, Fox turned and headed for home.

********************

Fox unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Empty apartment. Still and quiet and...

Damn, it felt empty.

He picked up the evening paper that had been dropped outside his door and stepped inside. Dropping the paper down on the coffee table, he noticed the light flashing on his answering machine. He crossed over to the desk and rewound the two messages.

The first was from Scully, telling him that she got stuck subbing for one of the instructors and wouldn't be back from Quantico until Monday night. The second brought a smile to his face.

"I love you, baby. Talk to you soon."

Fox rewound the brief message and closed his eyes as he listened again to the husky voice. He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes as he exhaled, catching sight of a slip of paper peeking out of the newspaper. He walked over to the coffee table and brought the paper up before his eyes. After reading the message, he let his arm drop to his side, cursing softly.

//What to do, what to do...//

According to the message, somehow the Consortium had learned that it had been discovered that Dr. Lieber might still be alive and that his whereabouts were no longer secret, and they were scrambling to move him and his entire lab to another location. In the message, Fox had been provided with the exact location of the lab and a map of the property. And now he stood here, the gold in his hand, with no Scully to accompany him and no time to wait for word from Alex.

//He'll be pissed as hell, Mulder, if you don't wait like you promised.//

//Yeah, but what if they move everything while you're waiting and you lose your opportunity?//

Fox growled and paced for a few moments, then picked up the phone and dialed Alex's cell. Unable to get through, he disconnected and dialed Scully's number. Her phone was also out of service.

"Well, they can't scream at you and tell you that you didn't try this time."

Making one last stab at responsibility, he punched in Skinner's number.

********************

Christ, what a long flight.

Alex sat down on the twin bed in his modest little hotel room and looked at his watch. Fox would probably just be waking.

He picked up the phone and dialed.

"It's me. Yeah...I got a couple of questions for you. What do you know about Dr. Henry Lieber?" ......What do you mean, all at once? ........What? When? Who? Oh, yeah, I know him...dead? No shit. Just on suspicion? Damn, they're not fooling around. Okay, that answers my other questions...yeah, thanks. I'll be in touch."

Alex disconnected and immediately dialed home. The phone rang three times, and he prepared to leave a message, when he noticed that Fox had changed the greeting on the machine...

"Hi. Tried to contact you but couldn't. No time to wait. Gone to check out what we discussed. Leave a message."

"Shit!"

Somehow, Fox had come by the same information he had. Dr. Lieber's concealment had been compromised, and they were switching locations.

And not that it would have changed Fox's mind if he *had* known, but Alex wondered if his information had also included the fact that Smokey had had a senior member of the group killed on the suspicion that it was he who had leaked the doctor's status and location.

He paced the floor, raking his fingers through his hair.

If they could off Irving so easily, then they wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone else who got in their way...especially if it was a man they wanted dead in the first place.

"Shit. Shit, shit..." He dialed Fox's cell and got the not in service message. Trying to remain cool, he tried Scully's number and got the same recording. "Dammit!" He tossed the phone on the bed, paced for a minute, then snatched it up again and dialed Skinner. At the sound of the soft baritone, he spoke.

"Skinner, it's Krycek."

"What the hell do you want at this time in the morning?"

"I got a question for you. I'm out of town, and I need to know if you know where Fox is."

"You mean you haven't tagged him with a tracking device?"

"I don't have time for your bullshit, Skinner. Has he or has he not contacted you with his whereabouts in the past twelve hours?"

"He's on a *case*, Krycek. That good enough for you?"

"Where?"

"If he wants you to know, he'll tell you when he sees you."

"Dammit, Skinner, this is important! Is Scully with him?"

"No."

"*No*?"

"That's what I said. She's out of town."

"She's still at Quantico? She was supposed to come back today!"

Silence.

"Fuck! Skinner, listen to me, and listen good. Fox has gone to Vermont..."

"Thought you didn't know where he was?"

"Oh, for the love of...*listen*, would you? He could be in danger. The man he's gone to investigate is big time trouble. The people he's involved with will do anything...kill *anyone* to maintain his privacy. We already know that if given the opportunity, they'll get rid of Fox. He's got no backup, Skinner. You gotta stop him..."

Skinner propped up a few pillows and sank back against them. "How do I know that's the real reason you don't want him to go up there? Could it be that he'll find something that *you* don't want him to find?"

"The only thing up there I don't want him to find, Skinner, is a bullet with his name on it. Now get your ass up to Vermont, and get him out of there! I'm on my way home as soon as I can get a flight."

No answer.

"Did you hear me?"

"Oh, yeah, I heard you."

"You gotta believe me..."

"Krycek, I would have trouble believing you if you told me the sky was blue."

"I'm not lying, you stupid son of a bitch!"

"Oh, yeah, that's going to get me right up there..."

"*Fuck*!" Alex hung up on Skinner, vowing to deal with him later, then called the airport. Not waiting for a commercial flight, he chartered a private plane and, as soon as the arrangements were made, he tried Scully once more.

Still, nothing.

He hurled a stream of curses into the air, gathered up his things, and rushed back out.

Four hours and at least a dozen tries later, Scully answered her phone.

"Scully."

"God. Thank God. Scully, it's Alex."

"Why the hell are you bugging me on a Sunday, Krycek?"

Alex explained himself to Scully much in the same way he did to Skinner but fortunately got a different response.

"Sounds just like him. You really think he's in that much danger?"

"I know these people better than you do, Scully. They'll kill him if they find him there. I tried to tell this to Skinner, but he won't hear it."

"You can't really blame him, Krycek. Hell, I don't know why *I* should believe you, except that there's this little voice in the back of my head that tells me I should."

"Listen to that voice, convince Skinner, and the two of you get the hell up there! I'm in the air, but it'll be at least eight hours before I land. Keep your phone on; I'll be in touch."

He gave her the directions to the lab in Vermont, begged her again to hurry, and disconnected. "God, Fox," he whispered, staring out the window. "Please watch your ass."

********************

"Skinner."

"Sir, it's Scully."

"What is it, Agent Scully?"

"Sir, I need your help."

"With what?"

"I just finished talking to Alex Krycek. I'm on my way to the airport. Sir, I need you to meet me in Vermont."

"Oh, please, Scully. You don't really believe that garbage that Krycek is shoveling, do you?"

"I do, sir, or I wouldn't be going to Vermont."

"What the hell did he say to rope you in?"

"I...I don't know that he said anything different to me than he said to you, but...it was something in his voice. He's worried."

"Of course, he's worried. Worried that Mulder will find something up there that'll finally expose him for the lying bastard that he is."

"No, sir. I wish I could explain to you why, but I don't believe that's so. I've watched them closely these past months. Krycek has never once given me even the slightest cause for suspicion. Yes, he's arrogant and abrasive, and he takes great pleasure in irritating the hell out of us, but I can say with all certainty that he loves Mulder, and he's frightened. Not for himself, but for Mulder's safety. Please, sir. I've tried reaching Mulder on his cell phone, but I get no answer. *I'm* worried. Please, meet me in Vermont."

Skinner ran a hand over his head as he paced. "All right, Scully, all right. I'll meet you there."

"Thank you, sir. See you soon."

Skinner set the phone down and stared out into the street below for several seconds before turning and heading to the second floor.

********************

"Are we ready?"

"Yes."

"There will be...*nothing* left behind for anyone to find?"

"Nothing."

"Excellent. I suppose it's time we left, then."

********************

"Agent Scully." Skinner picked his way through the maze of equipment and personnel, finally reaching the pale woman who stood staring at the rubble that might have once been a grand house. "What happened here?"

Scully opened her mouth, eyelids fluttering rapidly. "I...I don't know, sir. I got here only a little while ago and found this." She motioned to the still-smoking remains with a shaking hand.

The A.D. took a long gulp of air. "Agent Mulder?"

"His rental car was found..." Scully stopped, fighting to remain poised. "It was found on the side of a road about half a mile from here."

Skinner looked from Scully to the demolished house. "It doesn't mean he was inside."

"No," she whispered, "no, it doesn't. They're searching now for...bodies, but because of the force of the blast and because the ensuing fire burned for so long before anyone got here, they really don't expect to find anyone."

Skinner stepped away from his agent and moved a few feet closer to the scene, scanning the area.

"Sir?"

He heard nothing except the roar of machinery and the growing internal whisper of guilt.

********************

Alex disembarked and sprinted over to the car rental counter, looking at his watch.

Eight-fifteen p.m. and no contact with Scully. He'd tried several times to call her with no luck. He'd tried Fox as well, each time in vain, and his continued inability to to reach his lover was winding him tighter and tighter with each failed attempt.

Fortunately, the counter was deserted, and he was able to breeze right through. He raced out to the lot, found the car, and screeched out onto the interstate, again punching in Scully's number as he drove. Again there was no answer, and his curses vibrated within the too-small compartment of the compact car.

It had been several hours since that initial contact with Scully, and he had no idea if he would even find her at the lab, but since he couldn't reach her, he had no choice but to go there first.

The closer he got, the worse he felt, and he told himself that it was just the anticipation and the stress of not having been able to reach Fox that was working on him. He inhaled and released a shaky breath, mentally fortifying himself, and punched his speed up to ninety.

********************

"Sir..."

Skinner spun around, turning a sharp gaze on the investigator who had approached him and Scully from behind.

"What have you got?" Scully snapped, noticing that the man held a small, dark object in a plastic bag.

"A wallet." The investigator held the bag up, and Scully snatched it from him.

Skinner turned a withering stare on him. "You can't turn up a single body, yet you were able to find a wallet?"

"Things just happen that way sometimes, sir. No one knows why..."

"Oh, my God."

Skinner's attention turned to his ashen agent. He simply stared into her pain-riddled face, too afraid to ask.

Watery, cerulean eyes rose to meet his. "It's Mulder's wallet, sir," she choked, fingering the charred leather. "God...oh, my God..."

********************

As Alex turned onto the access road indicated on the map, the flashing lights he saw in the distance did nothing to assuage his growing sense of dread. He drove up to the roadblock and leapt out of the car, streaking toward the barricade only to be stopped by a uniformed guard.

"Sorry, sir, you'll have to turn back."

"What happened?" he asked, desperation shaking his voice. "What the hell happened up there?"

"What happened up there is no concern of yours, sir. Please get back in your car..."

"The hell it isn't! I gotta get up there! Now, either you let me through, or..."

The guard interrupted Alex's threat. "No one allowed on the premises, sir, without authorization."

"Is Agent Scully here? Find her. She knows I'm coming."

"The guard looked at his clipboard. "If she knows you're coming, then you should be on this list, shouldn't you? What's your name?"

"Krycek."

"Nnnnnope. No Krycek. Sorry..."

Alex snatched the guard, dragging him up against the barrier. "Find Agent Scully," he hissed. "Find her now, or I'm going to feed your little clipboard to you, piece by jagged piece..."

********************

"Agent Scully, I'm sorry, but you're needed outside."

Scully turned red-rimmed eyes to the man standing in the doorway.

"There's a man at the barricade. He's got hold of the guard and refuses to let him go until you authorize him."

Skinner ran a hand over the top of his head. "Tall, thirty-ish, dark hair?"

"Yes, sir."

Scully turned away from the man, closing her eyes and bowing her head. "Let him through."

Seconds later, Alex burst through the entrance of the base trailer, wild eyes darting around the small interior. Finally, his gaze fell on the woman who sat quietly, shoulders slumped and eyes to the floor.

"Where is he?"

He watched a tear drop from her eye, then turned his attention on the man who stood behind her. "Skinner?"

Skinner opened his mouth to speak and, not knowing how to say what he had to say, took a deep breath and tried again.

"Krycek..."

Alex sailed at the older man, his momentum propelling Skinner backward and slamming him against the wall. "*Where* is he??" he roared, clutching the front of Skinner's jacket so tightly it cut off his air.

It took four men and Scully to finally pry Alex away, and they had a difficult time holding onto him as he fought the restraining hands. "Tell me where he is, you son of a bitch!" He railed at the shaken man, thrashing against the four men who still held him.

"Alex," Scully called, trying to get his attention. "*Alex*, stop! Stop, and listen to me!"

Slowly, Alex ceased his struggle then fixed a dark green stare on her. The men released their hold on him and backed off a couple of steps.

Scully lifted a hand to his arm and took a moment to compose herself. "Alex, there...you can see, obviously, that there was an explosion. It leveled the house, and...Alex, Mulder's rental car was discovered not far from here, and..."

"And, *what*?" Alex half-demanded, half-pleaded.

"And, they found this in the rubble." She produced the wallet and backed away as he gingerly plucked it from her palm.

Alex turned the burned object over then opened it up to examine the remains of the contents. Slowly, he shook his head as he stared down at Fox's badly damaged, but still recognizable, ID. He looked up at Scully, still shaking his head, then over at Skinner. A murderous gleam coated his eyes, and he again lunged at the A.D., but the men who had been restraining him jumped between the two.

"You fucking son of a bitch!" Alex screamed. "I *told* you he was in danger! I *told* you!"

Scully again got between the enraged man and his intended victim. "Alex, stop it! You can't do this!" She motioned to the men who were again holding him, and they wrestled him outside. She turned to Skinner, who had sunk into a chair, one hand covering his face. "Sir..."

"I'm all right," he whispered. "Go see to him."

Without another word to him, Scully retreated to the outside and closed the door behind her. She approached Alex and instructed the men to let him go and stand by the trailer door. As soon as they released him, he spun in the direction of the leveled house and the hoards of people scouring the debris.

"They've found no bodies," she said softly, "but as they haven't yet, they really don't expect to."

"He..." Alex began, blinking back the tears that scalded his eyes. "...Scully, he could be trapped somewhere under all that stuff. Maybe he's unconscious, or..."

"Alex..."

Alex whirled to face her. "He *could* be!" He jerked back in that direction. "I gotta find him..."

"Alex, don't..."

Before Scully could finish her sentence, Alex was racing up toward the smoldering rubble. He started on the first pile he came to, throwing aside blackened timbers and chunks of cement.

Scully watched helplessly as he tore through that pile and started on another. It was pointless to talk to him right now; she knew he wouldn't listen. She would let him wear himself out then try again. While she waited, she sat down on the bumper of one of the police cars and closed her eyes but opened them again almost immediately as Alex's voice, strained and desperate, sounded in the crisp night air, calling to his lost lover. She started to cry softly as he stumbled around the wreckage of the house, his calls becoming louder until they turned into harsh wails.

The sound brought Skinner from the trailer, and he approached the police car, standing beside Scully. "What is he doing?" he asked, watching the madman tear around the site.

"He's looking for Mulder," Scully said flatly, her eyes following Alex's wild movements.

"He thinks he's alive?"

She shrugged weakly. "He's in denial, sir. Very common in such situations." She turned blood-red eyes up to her superior. "We were so wrong about him. We let hatred blind us. And now that I can finally admit that....it's too late."

Skinner nodded and took a shaky breath. "And my blindness might very well have caused this. Krycek was right. If I had listened to him, if I had..."

"We don't know that, sir. We don't know that it would have changed the outcome at all."

"But we don't know that it wouldn't have. He's gone from all our lives, and it could very well be my fault." Tormented brown eyes watched as the man whom Skinner had too late come to realize truly loved Fox Mulder lurched through the ruins in a futile search for him.

********************

Alex was faltering.

He'd dug until his hands were raw, and then dug some more, but now he'd begun to weaken. He tugged ineffectually at a beam wedged between two rocks but could not budge it. When he finally realized that his strength was drained, he sank down on the ground and stared blankly at the commotion that went on around him.

Policemen and FBI agents swarmed around the area. Backhoes dug and cranes lifted while dogs sniffed, but the only thing they'd turned up to prove that someone had been in the house was a platinum wedding band and some brass buttons. That and, of course, Fox's wallet.

Alex looked down at his bleeding hands then clasped them together. If all this hardware and trained personnel could only produce those few things, what chance did he have?

He looked around once more, praying for a miracle, but one was not to be had.

"Alex." Scully waited for a response and, getting none, she squatted before the exhausted man. "Alex, come with me."

Dazed, green eyes blinked at her.

"Alex, come get some rest. They'll call us if they turn anything up."

"I can't," he said, just above a whisper. "What if..."

Tears again sprang to Scully's eyes. "Alex, listen to me. There is no 'what if'. They are *not* going to find him alive...chances are great they won't find him at all..."

Alex bowed his head. "No..."

"I don't want to believe it either," Scully told him, sniffing back a sob, "but we're faced with undeniable proof, here. Refusing to accept it isn't going to change the facts."

"He can't be dead, Scully. I can't, I can't..." Alex choked on his words. "...I can't lose him."

"I'm sorry, Alex. You'll never know how sorry. You know what Mulder meant to me. I keep praying that I'm going to wake up and find out that this has all been a terrible dream."

Alex brought his hands to his face, shuddering violently.

"Oh, my God." Scully noticed Alex's hands for the first time since coming to talk to him, and she rose to her feet, closing her fingers around his wrists. "Alex, come with me. You need medical attention." She tugged and pulled and finally got the now silent man to his feet. She walked him slowly past the scurrying workers toward the command base.

Skinner watched warily as Alex moved blindly past him and up the two steps into the trailer. He followed at a discreet distance, settling himself against the far wall as Scully sat the nearly comatose man in a chair and tended to his scraped and bruised hands. When she was through, he motioned to her and stepped away.

"Alex," Scully called softly, touching one bandaged hand. "There's a cot over there. Why don't you go lie down?"

Alex shook his head, staring at the floor.

"You're exhausted. You need rest."

No response.

Scully dropped her head, heaving a long sigh. She turned in Skinner's direction and joined him at the other end of the trailer.

"He's in rough shape," she informed him, running a hand through her hair. "I don't...I don't know what to do for him."

"What about you?" he asked. "You need to rest as much as he does."

"I can't. Not until they've moved every pebble."

"We have."

Scully and Skinner turned in the direction of the voice at the door.

"We've just begun a second search."

"You found nothing more?" Scully asked the head of the search team.

"No, ma'am. Nothing at all. We've gone through that rubble with a fine-tooth comb. This second search is really just a formality."

Skinner turned his head and closed his eyes.

"I'm really very sorry," the man offered. "I know the man we were looking for was one of your own."

The man disappeared from the trailer, leaving behind him a silence so final that it rendered the two agents speechless. Not a word more was spoken in the trailer until day broke, and an officer came in to ask if anyone would like a cup of coffee and some breakfast.

Scully declined the offer and moved toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Skinner asked, rising stiffly from the chair he'd occupied for most of the night.

"To see if they're almost done."

"I'll go," Skinner volunteered, nodding at the man who hadn't spoken or moved since the night before. "He needs to get up, and you know he won't let *me* near him."

Scully nodded her agreement and, when Skinner had gone outside, walked over to Alex and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Alex, I think we'll be leaving soon."

Unresponsive eyes turned up to hers.

"They're almost done with the second search. It's just about time for us to go home."

*Home*?

The place he'd come to know as home...the only place he'd *ever* think of as home, had in the blink of an eye become something completely different. Every room, every stick of furniture would now be reminders of what would never be again. He'd never come *home* to find Fox making a disastrous attempt at dinner...never return in the middle of the night and crawl into bed to wrap himself around his sleeping lover...never feel their slick, warm bodies pressed together in the shower...

"I can't. I have...I have to stay."

"Alex, there's nothing here for you."

"Fox was here. It's the last place he was."

"Yes..."

"Then this is where I want to be."

"Alex, I...I can't let you stay here. Mulder would want you to go home. He'd want me to make sure that you were all right, and that's what I'm going to do."

The door opened and Skinner walked back in. "They, uh...they're just about finished. I'm going to stay behind here to tie things up, but you," he looked back and forth between Scully and Alex, "should go on home."

Scully nodded and looked down at the seated man. "Alex, I'm going to call the airport and book our flight. You're coming back with me, do you understand?" When silence was her only answer, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed the airport.

Three hours later, she and Alex were sitting side by side on a plane, Alex tightly clutching the remnants of his lover's wallet.

"Alex, I..." Scully stopped, unsure of whether or not she should broach the subject, then decided to go ahead and ask. "...I know this is the last thing on your mind, but I have to bring it up. There are..." She stopped again, swallowing down the sudden rush of tears. "...there are arrangements that need to be made. Mrs. Mulder has to be contacted. The service has to be planned..."

Alex turned from her, curling up in his seat.

"I'm sorry, I just need to know how involved you want to be. I think Mulder would want *you* to take care of things, but I'd understand if you weren't up to it, and I'm here to lend you whatever assistance you need..."

In another time and place, Scully offering him her help would be a funny thing...fodder for many a wisecrack, but now, her words barely registered in his head.

Scully could see that Alex was not with her, and she abandoned her attempt to engage him in conversation. She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes.

There was time enough to make the necessary preparations. She would give him a while longer then try again.

//I *am* trying, Mulder. I promise, I'll keep trying.//

********************

Scully pulled up outside of Hegal Place and, with a shaking hand, turned the engine off. "Alex," she called softly to her silent passenger, "Alex, we're here." Receiving no response, she forced herself to get out of the car and circled around to the right side where she opened the door and reached inside, tucking her hand in the crook of Alex's arm. "Come on."

Alex tightened, refusing to move. "No," he whispered. "No, no..."

Scully closed her eyes briefly, praying for the strength she was going to need to get them both through this. "Alex...you can't just sit out here in the car forever. You have to go inside sooner or later."

Ten minutes and a lot of coaxing later, Scully managed to get Alex out of the car and walking toward the building. Every step was an effort, and when she finally got him into the elevator, she took a moment to catch her breath and brace herself for the trip down the hall to the apartment.

When the doors opened, she said a silent prayer, led Alex into the hall, and began the trek to number forty-two. She felt the trembling of his body increase with every gained step, and by the time they reached the door, Alex was ready to crumble.

Scully attempted three times to insert the key into the lock, but her quaking hand made it difficult for her to perform the task. Finally, she succeeded and pushed the door open. One unsteady step at a time, she entered the dark apartment, turning the ceiling light on in the dining room. Brightness flooded the area, and a deep, burning sorrow flooded her heart. She choked back a sob and turned to look back toward the door.

//Oh, no.//

"Alex?" She hurried to the entrance, afraid that he had bolted, but when she reached the threshold, she found him there in the hall, sitting on the floor just outside the door. She squatted beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Alex, what are you doing? You can't sit out here. Come on in."

Silent shake of the sable head.

"I know it's hard. It hurts like hell, but we have to...there are things we need to do..."

"You do them," Alex said, voice just barely above a whisper.

"Are you sure you don't want *any* part of this? Consider it carefully, Alex. In time you may regret not doing it. You and I both know Mulder would want you to handle his service."

Alex turned, pressing into the wall. If he could have burrowed through it, he would have. "I can't, Scully. Please, I...leave me alone." He clutched the wallet to his chest. "Just please leave me alone."

Knowing there was no reasoning with him at this point, Scully rose to her feet and drifted back into the empty apartment. She left the door wide open so she could at least keep an eye on him, and she set about making her phone calls. She lifted the phone in one trembling hand and punched in the first number of many.

"Byers. It's Scully..."

********************

The view from the third passenger window of the small jet was a breathtaking one, not that Skinner had noticed. He sat staring out at the dazzling white clouds, not seeing a thing.

Mulder...Fox...beautiful, brilliant, irrepressible Fox. Gone. Just gone.

And it was his hatred and distrust of a man that Fox trusted implicitly and loved dearly that had caused this.

//I never thought...Jesus, Mulder, if I'd known...I'm sorry, I...your life is over, and I don't know what to do or say..I'm hurting. God, I'm hurting so much, but I...what right have I got thinking about myself when I'm the one who could have stopped this? It's because I was so stubborn that Scully is going through what she is now, and...and Krycek...I never dreamed that he could be so...my God, he really does love you. I can't blame him for wanting me dead. If our situations were reversed, I wouldn't stop until he'd paid dearly for what he'd done...//

Skinner lowered his head and covered his eyes.

//You were a true believer in anything paranormal, Fox, and more than once you made me a believer too. I know that if you can, you'll find a way to let Krycek and Scully know...they need something, some comfort, something...Scully is staying strong, though I know this is killing her, but Krycek is a mess. There doesn't seem to be anything that can be done for him. No one to draw strength or comfort from. Not from Scully, and damn sure not from me. He needs you, Fox. I don't...I don't know if you can really hear me or not, but if you can, please know how sorry I am...if there was a way...if I could go back and fix this, I would. I'd gladly trade places with you. You've lost out on a lifetime of love, and I'll never forgive myself for taking that from you...//

He gritted his teeth, forcing the trembling of his body to cease.

//I wanted it to be me. I wanted it more than I could say, but more than that, I wanted your happiness. Please believe that. I'm so sorry that I refused to see that you *were* happy. If I had....God, why didn't I see it?//

********************

Two hours had passed, and still Alex refused to come into the apartment.

Scully tried three times to coax him in, but no luck.

Calls made, she now sat on the sofa, eyes wandering around the apartment.

So many years running in and out of this place. So much time spent fixing broken door locks, scrubbing blood off the floors...rooting around in his empty refrigerator...

All done. All over and done.

He'd gotten himself into so much trouble over the years. Faced death more times than she'd care to count, but somehow he'd always slipped the noose.

Not this time.

She couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe that this time he was really gone. This had to be some kind of joke...some horrible joke, and soon someone would start to laugh and apologize for pulling such an awful prank and getting everyone all riled up.

No dice.

She bowed her head and, for the first time since discovering that Mulder had perished in the explosion, really let go. She cried until she couldn't cry any more, and when she was done, she sat. Just sat until thoughts of Alex made her rise. She started toward the open door to check on him, and halfway there, the phone rang, and she turned back to answer it.

"Scully, are you all right?"

"Yes...yes, sir," she whispered into the phone.

"I'm back."

"You are?" She looked at her watch, only now just realizing that she and Alex had been back for almost six hours.

Alex.

God, had he been sitting out there all this time?

Cordless phone to her ear, she walked to the door and peeked out. There, in the same spot, Alex sat, head against the wall, eyes closed. His chest rose and fell slowly, and she determined that he'd fallen asleep.

"...should tell her..."

Scully moved away from the door before she spoke, afraid of waking the exhausted man. "What was that, sir?"

"I was asking if you'd called Mrs. Mulder."

"No. That's the one call I didn't make."

"I think we owe it to her to tell her ourselves. You stay there and try to get some rest. I'll go and see her myself."

"Thank you, sir, I appreciate that."

"How's Krycek?"

"Not good. He's actually asleep right now....in the hall."

"The hall?"

"He refused to come into the apartment. He sat down on the floor in the hall, and he fell asleep there."

"You can't leave him out there."

"And I can't force him to come in...wait a minute..."

Scully watched quietly as a shadow moved across the doorway. Little by little, Alex inched forward. Finally, he made it inside and moved slowly across the room. Still holding the wallet to his chest, he crossed over to the fish tank and sprinkled some food into the water. Not meeting her eyes, he drifted into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

"Scully....Scully?"

Scully readjusted the phone against her ear. "I'm sorry...he just came in. Fed the fish, and went into the bedroom."

"At least he's inside now."

"Thank God, I was beginning to think I was going to have to put a blanket and pillow out there for him." Scully paused, rubbing her forehead. "Uh...I started making phone calls...notifications. The Gunmen wanted to come right over, but I held them off. Alex is way too unstable to deal with visitors."

Skinner went silent for a moment, then, "How do you think he's going to handle the service?"

"I don't even want to think about that."

"Well...I'd better get going. The sooner I get this visit to Mrs. Mulder over, the better. I'll call you when I get back."

"All right, sir. Thank you."

Scully set the phone down and looked in the direction of the bedroom. Reluctantly, she rose to her feet and wobbled toward the closed door. Knocking softly, she called Alex's name.

"Alex? Alex, can I come in?"

No answer.

"Alex, please. Just say something to let me know that you're all right."

Still nothing.

"Answer me, or I'm coming in."

She waited a few seconds and opened the door to find Alex sorting laundry.

"What are you doing?"

"Gotta separate his clothes for him, or he winds up with pink and green underwear."

Scully's mouth fell open.

//God...oh, please, God...//

"Alex."

Alex lifted a pair of jeans and fished through the pockets. "He left some tissue in his pants once. Got all over everything in the washer."

"Don't do this. Please, Alex, this is hard enough."

He set one basket aside and picked up another, giving no indication that he'd heard a word she'd said. Scully walked up to him and snatched the basket away, bent on making him hear her.

"He's not going to be wearing any of this stuff, Alex...*ever*! Now, stop this!"

Alex picked up the full basket and hurled it across the room, scattering clothes everywhere.

"Shut up! Just shut up and get out!"

Scully stared, stunned as Alex sank to the floor, leaning against the footboard of the bed, and pulled a shirt into his lap. She stood frozen for a moment, then slowly approached, touching the back of his head.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm just...I'm so tired, and...there's so much to do..."

"Then, go do it. Or go home and sleep. Just get out and leave me alone."

"All right. All right, I'm going. But I'll be back, Alex. I'm not going to let you just curl up here with his clothes and die..."

Alex heaved himself off the floor and spun in her direction. "Why the hell do you care?" he literally screamed. "You hate me! You never wanted me to have him! Well, you got your wish, didn't you? I don't have him any more!"

"Shut up, Krycek!" Scully screamed back. "You think you've got a lock on grief? You think you're the only one in any pain? Think again! I loved Mulder! And yes, I hated you. *Yes*, I never wanted you to have him! But I'm not blind, you idiot! I came to understand over the last few months that you really did love him, and all I wanted for him, first and foremost, was to be happy and to be loved the way he deserved to be!" Her voice lowered several decibels. "You gave that to him." Tears sprang to her eyes. "And it kills me that his life was cut short just as it was really beginning."

Alex stared at her, his eyes welling up. His lips began to quiver, and a short, choked whimper pushed up from his throat. He swallowed it back, but another soon took its place, and before long, his entire body was wracked with heaving sobs. Unable to hold him up, his knees gave out, and he again slid to the floor, but Scully met him there, taking him into her arms and holding him while they both cried themselves to exhaustion. Sleep stole in quickly then, wrapping both in blessed oblivion, even as Alex lay wrapped in the arms of the woman who would now be his only comfort.

********************

A distant ringing startled Scully out of sleep. She blinked and winced as her muscles protested against the position they'd been twisted into for the last three hours. She flinched as the sable head that had been resting in her lap jerked up and Alex looked dazedly around the room. She placed a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him away and pulled herself up. "It's the phone," she explained, dragging herself toward the shrilling object beside the bed. "Hello?"

"Agent Scully."

"Yes..." Scully stopped to clear her throat, then started again. "Yes, sir?"

"I'm with Mrs. Mulder."

"How is she?"

"Not too good. I'm going to get a hotel room and accompany her to D.C. later today..."

Scully looked at her watch, noting that it was very early in the morning.

"Since she's obviously in no condition, and you know all of Mulder's friends and associates, she's asked that you take care of the service."

Scully ran a hand through her hair and rolled her head back along her shoulders. //Never even thought of her.// "Yes, sir."

"How's Krycek?"

Scully looked down to the man who had since crawled up onto the bed and was now lying on his side with what she could only assume was Mulder's pillow crushed to his chest. "Drained. We were both actually asleep when you called."

"Oh. Well, sorry, but I thought you'd like to know about Mrs. Mulder."

"Yes, sir, I'm glad you called. "I'll see you later today, then." Scully placed the phone down on the nightstand and sat at the edge of the bed. Swollen, blood-shot eyes looked up at her.

"How is she?"

"Not too good, Skinner says. It'd be crazy to think that she would be anything else, I guess. Losing one child is devastating enough. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose two." She looked down at the man who had since buried his face in his pillow. "Why don't you go back to sleep? I think I'll go into the other room and start working on a list of things we have to do."

"No," Alex mumbled into the pillow, shaking his head. "I can't go back to sleep." He got up, and, carrying Fox's pillow with him, he trudged into the living room. Scully followed, watching him curl up in the corner of the sofa. He placed the pillow over the arm and laid his cheek against it. The pain that contorted his face brought a fresh sting of tears to her eyes.

"Alex?"

"It smells like him, you know." Alex turned his face into the cornflower-blue colored puff, inhaling as he hugged it gently.

Scully lowered her head for a moment, composing herself then took a notebook and pen from Fox's desk and sat down in the chair opposite the sofa. "All right....Alex? Are you ready?"

"No," Alex whispered softly. "But I never will be, so..."

He went along with every suggestion Scully made, absently nodding or uttering a soft 'okay', until she made one particular proposal.

"...and I was thinking that it might be appropriate for Skinner to say a few words..."

"No."

"...Alex..."

"*No*." Alex lifted his head, eyes glittering with hatred. "I don't want him anywhere near this."

"Alex, you can't hold him responsible..."

"Bullshit!" Alex leapt from the sofa and began to prowl back and forth, his eyes never leaving the seated woman. "This is *all* his fault! He couldn't see far enough past his own goddamn jealousy, and look where it got us!" He stopped short, hands clenching at his sides. "He took him from me, Scully...he took my Fox!"

"Alex, please." Scully turned sympathetic eyes up to him. "I understand how you feel, but you have to try to understand. Skinner didn't trust you. Neither did *I*. "

"But you *believed* me! If I had been able to get through to you when I got through to Skinner, Fox'd still be here!"

"We don't know that," Scully said to him in her most soothing voice. "It's impossible to know a thing like that. Alex, please don't be so hard on Skinner. He's feeling the pain too."

"I don't give a *shit* what he feels."

Scully raised a hand to her forehead. "Okay, I won't ask Skinner to speak. But *please*, promise me you won't start anything with him."

"You just promise *me* you'll keep him out of my sight."

By the time they'd finished reviewing the arrangements, Scully was able to make the necessary calls and get the service set for two o'clock the next day. Skinner informed her when he and Mrs. Mulder had arrived in town and that the woman had wanted no part of going to her son's apartment as of yet. She was having a hard enough time dealing with the news of his death; there was no way that she'd be able to handle walking into this apartment. The news was a relief to Scully, as she had not the strength or the desire to deal with Mrs. Mulder's reaction to Alex.

A good part of the day was spent greeting friends who had dropped by to offer their condolences. Though many had come, none stayed very long after encountering Fox's grieving lover. Those who had no idea about Alex were shocked, to say the least, and were too uncomfortable in his presence to linger. Those who did know and understand, cut their visit short for the simple reason that Alex's mood was far too unstable for his comfort or theirs.

As the last of the mourners left, two men Scully had never seen before appeared at the open door.

"I'm sorry," one of them said softly. "But, this *is* the apartment of Fox Mulder?"

"Yes. Who are you?"

The spokesman pointed to his companion then to himself. "This is Morris. My name is Steve. We...we're acquaintances of..." The man caught sight of Alex as he wandered out of the kitchen and called his name.

Alex turned at the sound of the vaguely familiar voice and motioned the two men in. "It's okay, Scully," he said flatly. "I know who they are."

Scully stepped aside and allowed the men to enter.

"Alex, we...we hope you don't mind us dropping in on you like this, but...Morris here called me up earlier and told me to turn on channel seven. We saw the report about an Agent Fox Mulder of the FBI having died in an explosion in Vermont. That name...it was so much of a coincidence for someone *else* to have such an odd name. Uh...Morris here works for the DMV, so he tapped the database and came up with the ID. When we saw the driver's license picture, we knew..."

Alex sat stiffly on the sofa and lowered his head.

"...We, uh...we thought we'd come by to offer our sympathy and see how you were doing."

"Thank you," Alex whispered. "That was nice of you."

Morris fidgeted nervously, then sat beside Alex. "We don't know you very well at all, but...there was no doubt in the world how much you loved each other. God, I can't believe it. How are you doing?"

Alex reached into his back pocket, producing the battered wallet. "This is all they found of him at the scene." His hands trembled. "I'm waiting....I keep waiting to wake up and feel his head on my chest and my arms around him, but it never happens." A tear escaped one eye. "I want to wake up. God, somebody please wake me up."

Scully approached and dropped down on the other side of Alex, gathering him into her arms as he started to sob quietly. She looked from one man to the other as she held on to Alex. "Thank you for coming," she stated softly. "I'm Dana Scully. I'm...I was Mulder's partner."

Steve nodded. "I see. Please accept our sympathies."

"Thank you."

"I'm glad to see he's got somebody to lean on," Morris said, indicating the man in her arms.

Scully pressed her lips to Alex's ear, murmuring some soft words of comfort as she stroked his back, then looked back to the man who had remained standing. "I don't know how much help I'm being to him, but I'm doing my best."

"Well," Steve said, touching her hand, "Morris and I had only just met Alex and Fox, but we just feel so awful about what's happened. If there's anything at all we can do for you, we hope you'll let us know."

Steve pulled a card from his wallet and placed it down on the coffee table. "That's my name and number. Please feel free."

"Thank you so much." Scully continued to stroke the man who refused to lift his head from her shoulder. "I appreciate your gesture, and I know Alex does too."

Morris rose to his feet and he motioned to Steve, silently suggesting that they go.

Steve nodded his agreement, then looked back to Scully. "One more thing...uh...I assume there's going to be some sort of service? We'd like to attend if you don't mind."

"Of course we don't mind. Two tomorrow at Arlington."

One at a time, each man placed a gentle hand on Alex's shoulder, uttering one last word of condolence before exiting. When they were gone, Scully spoke to him.

"Alex....it's been a long day for both of us. How about you go into the bedroom and try and get some sleep?"

A few seconds passed before Alex lifted his head. He sniffed, swiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Do me a favor?"

"Sure. What do you want?"

"I want...I want you to go home tonight."

"Y-you do?"

Alex nodded slowly, looking down at the cushion between them.

"May I ask why?"

"I don't know, I just...I...I think I need to be alone."

Scully studied him intently, trying to gain some small bit of insight into his thoughts. "Alex, are you sure? I really don't mind staying."

"I'm sure. Unless you plan on moving in with me, I'm going to have to be alone at some point, right?"

"All right. Of course you're right, but...I'm going to call you in the morning."

Alex nodded.

"Please, get some sleep, okay? Tomorrow's going to be a very long day."

The thought of tomorrow and what he would have to face, sent an icy dagger through Alex's heart.

"Alex..." Scully murmured, noting the look of anguish that crossed his face. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"No," he whispered, taking in long, painful breaths. "No. Please."

Reluctantly, Scully gathered her things and departed, leaving Alex alone with his grief. He wandered from room to room, straightening and cleaning, and when he could do no more, he retreated to the bedroom, undressed, and crawled into bed. He shut the light off and lay in the darkness.

Alone.

From here on out, it was back to the void. Back to hell.

No, that wasn't right. He couldn't go back to a place he'd never been, and he'd *never* been to a hell like this one before. Had never felt pain this deeply. The things he'd done and seen over the years had made him tough...hard, but these months with Fox...the time he'd spent loving and being loved had stripped away the calluses and left him vulnerable. And the agony was twenty times worse than anything he'd ever experienced.

He turned onto his side and curled himself tightly around his lost love's pillow, whispering into its softness.

"Fox...baby, I'm so lonely. I can't...I don't know what do. It hurts so much. It won't stop..." The tears began to slide past his closed eyelids. "It won't let up," he whimpered softly. "It hurts to think...it hurts to breathe...I can't do this. I can't..." The whimpers turned into sobs, growing louder and more labored, until he wore himself out and drifted into sleep.

********************

Eight-thirty five.

There was no way in hell Alex was still asleep. In fact, Scully doubted that he got more than three hours.

She picked up the phone and dialed, hearing three then four rings. The machine picked up, and her knees weakened as Mulder's voice told her that no one was home and to please leave a message. She gathered her wits and called out to Alex.

"Alex. Alex, pick up, it's Scully."

Nothing.

//God, where the hell is he?//

"Alex.....*Alex*."

She cursed softly and hung up. Grabbing her coat, she dashed out the door and headed out to Mulder's apartment.

The soft knock at the door of apartment forty-two went unanswered, and Scully unlocked the door, moving cautiously inside. Except for the soft hum of the aquarium filter, all was quiet. No footsteps, no running water...not a sound.

Scully walked from room to room, making a visual check as she called Alex's name, but turned up nothing. She noted in her search that each room was as neat as a pin. The bed was made, no dishes in the sink...not that she expected there to be any. She hadn't seen Alex eat a thing since he'd shown up at the explosion site in Vermont. She had no idea how he was still standing, let alone taking off to God only knew where.

//He'll be back. He knows the service is at two. He won't miss it. //

She'd like to miss it, though. Attending this funeral for Mulder ranked right up there with her father's and sister's funerals as the worst moments of her life, and she'd give anything in the world not to be doing it. But she would. She owed him that much. There was nothing *more* she could do for him.

A tear formed in the corner of one eye, shimmering there, suspended for a moment before making a lazy path down the curve of her cheek. Just when she thought she could cry no more, another tear followed and still another until a fresh reserve came forth, stinging her already irritated eyes and blurring her vision.

She sat heavily on the sofa, head in her hands, weeping softly. When she was through, she went into the bathroom and ran a washcloth under cold water. Holding it to her eyes, she walked back into the living room and resumed her seat on the sofa.

Ten o'clock came and went. Ten-thirty....eleven...

No Alex.

Now adding worry to her depression, Scully scribbled a note telling him that she would meet him at the cemetery and left it on the coffee table, where she hoped he'd be sure to find it.

"Come on, Alex," she whispered as she exited the apartment, "please show up."

All the way to Mrs. Mulder's hotel, she tried to reach Alex with no luck. By the time she reached the room, her nerves were shot. She took a few shaky breaths and knocked at the door. Seconds afterward, the door swung open, and a pair of tired, brown eyes peered down at her over the tops of the familiar glasses.

"Have you slept at all?"

Scully looked up at Skinner, shaking her head. "So little it isn't even worth mentioning."

"I can see that," he responded. "You look terrible."

"You don't look so great, yourself. How about Mrs. Mulder?"

Skinner stepped aside and motioned Scully in. As she entered, the figure of Tina Mulder came into view. Sitting ramrod straight in a chair by the window, gazing out into the bright, noonday sky but not seeing a thing. Scully approached and softly cleared her throat.

"Mrs. Mulder."

Watery blue-gray eyes turned up to the petite red-head, and the woman gave her a ghost of a smile.

"Thank you very much for making the arrangements, Miss Scully. I...I'm afraid I didn't know my son nearly as well as I should have in his adult years, and I would have had no clue about what to do, who to invite..."

"It's perfectly all right," Scully countered.

The woman looked from Scully to Skinner, then back again. "I do know that he had the utmost respect for the both of you. You were good friends to him..."

Skinner bowed his head, unable to respond.

Scully took the woman's hand and said, voice quavering, "I can't begin to tell you how much...how sorry I am..."

A soft hand covered her own.

"You don't have to try to find the words, dear. I can see it all over your face." Her hand slid away, and she looked back toward the window. "I'd never have dreamed that I would outlive both of my children...Samantha...my beautiful, little girl. So full of enthusiasm. Her rambunctiousness drove me to distraction sometimes...now all I have of her is those memories..."

She took a long, stuttering breath and blinked back the threatening tears. "And Fox. My brilliant, handsome, idealistic son. I was proud of him, you know. I should have told him. He should have known. A child should always know that his parents are proud of him. But I've been so wrapped up in my grief over Samantha all these years, I suppose I forgot a lot of the time that I still had a child who needed my attention and my approval." Her head dropped and her shoulders slumped. "And now, it's too late."

Skinner watched from a distance as Scully sat on the arm of the chair and held the woman while, for the first time since he'd broken the news to her, she cried openly.

When her sobs had finally abated, Mrs. Mulder raised her head and dried her eyes. "It must be near time to go."

Skinner checked his watch. "As a matter of fact, yes. The car should be downstairs in about ten minutes."

The woman nodded and rose from the chair, smoothing her skirt. "I'll just go freshen up, then." She lay a hand on Scully's shoulder in a brief gesture of thanks, then disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the two alone. As soon as the door closed behind her, Skinner came to stand beside Scully.

"Where is Krycek?"

"I don't know."

"You don't *know*?"

"No, sir. I called him earlier, got no answer, and went by Mulder's...the apartment, and he wasn't there. Everything was neat and tidy, but he was gone."

"Maybe he left early for Arlington."

"I told him I was going to call him this morning. And he knew that he and I were going to go together. We talked about it while we were planning the service. We were going to meet you and Mrs. Mulder there."

Skinner looked toward the bathroom door then back at Scully. "I've made no mention of him at all because I had no idea if she knew about him or not. Now, I get the feeling that she's completely ignorant."

"Mulder had never discussed with me whether or not he'd told her. And Alex gave no clues either. I think you're right. I don't think she knows."

"We can't drop this on her, Scully. Not now. She's had enough of a shock..."

Before they could finish their conversation, the door opened and Tina Mulder emerged, composure intact and her head held high.

"I'm ready."

Skinner tossed Scully an apprehensive look then stalked toward the door and opened it. He helped Mrs. Mulder on with her coat, and the three walked out to meet the waiting car.

********************

The group was larger than Scully had thought.

Through television and newspaper, word of Fox's Mulder's death had spread quickly, and the turnout for his funeral was enormous. The faces of people whom she'd recognized but whose names she could not remember dotted the crowd of friends, co-workers and acquaintances, and at the front of the large group, the three most familiar stood, forlorn eyes meeting hers as she approached. She nodded to the Gunmen, and she and Skinner helped Mrs. Mulder into her seat.

"Excuse me just a minute," she whispered to the woman, then made her way over to the three men. "Guys."

They completed a round of hugs, then Langly spoke for the group.

"I can't believe we're here. This is like some horrific nightmare."

Scully nodded, eyes cast downward.

Frohike looked around, noting that one person was missing. "Where's Krycek?"

Scully closed her eyes for a moment then opened and raised them. "I don't know," she whispered. "I'm afraid of where he might be...what he might be doing. He's so unstable right now."

"Who the hell would have thought?" Frohike asked no one in particular. "Alex Krycek..."

"I know," Scully cut him off before he could finish. "I sure as hell didn't believe it at first. But his heart and soul belonged to Mulder, and the agony he's in right now is unbearable." She glanced around the area, searching for the man in question, but to no avail. "I should get back now. But listen. After the service, you three need to meet us back at Mulder's apartment. In the..." she took a deep breath and continued. "In the event of his....death....Mulder wanted a specific group of people to get together after his funeral and hear his last wishes. You three are included in that group."

The men looked at each other, then to Scully. "All right," Langly agreed, speaking for the other two. "Of course, we'll be there."

Scully rejoined Skinner and Mrs. Mulder, who sat dry-eyed throughout the entire service until she was presented with the flag that had draped the empty symbol of her son's passing. She sobbed then, flanked by two who patted and reassured her while fighting to keep themselves together.

When the service had ended and the mourners had departed, the three stood quietly staring at the casket which would be lowered into the ground after they'd gone.

Unable to stand the sight for another minute, Scully was just about to suggest that they depart when movement caught her eye. She watched frozen as Alex stepped out of seemingly nowhere, drifting unsteadily in the direction of the grave. He stopped a few feet away, staring at what lay in front of him, then took the few remaining steps and came to a halt directly in front of gleaming mahogany casket. Scully flinched as she watched him waver, then sink to his knees. She watched his body tremble then begin to rock back and forth...

This wasn't happening. This could *not* be happening.

Alex closed his eyes, willing himself away from here. God, please, anyplace but here. But when he opened them, here was where he remained, on his knees, in front of a casket belonging to, but containing nothing of his beloved Fox.

He seemed to neither see nor hear the three who stood only a few feet away, and when the feather-light touch of Scully's hand came to rest on his shoulder, he gave no response.

"Alex," Scully called to the clearly distraught man. "Alex, come on. Why don't we go home, now?"

Alex lifted his hands to the casket, bracing himself as he continued to rock. He shook his head, choking back a soft whimper.

"I know, Alex. God, I know. But you can't stay. Please..."

Alex again refused to get up, and then another hand touched his arm.

"Krycek..."

Eyes that glowed a hateful green turned up to Skinner, and the older man removed his hand as Alex hissed at him.

"Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. Don't *look* at me." His gaze returned to the casket. "Look at *this*. *You* did this." He shook violently. "We were happy and you couldn't stand it..."

Skinner shook his head. "Krycek, that's not true. I never...you can't ever think I ever wanted *this*..."

"But this is what you *got*. You wanted to keep him away from me. He loved me and you hated it. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever loved..." He leaned against the mahogany box. "...is now *here*. It's all over. One phone call. One minute of disbelief and it's all gone." He closed his eyes and draped himself over the casket. "My beautiful Fox..."

Scully risked a glance at the older woman who stood motionless watching the scene, then again attempted to get Alex to leave with her.

"Alex, don't do this..."

"It's empty," Alex wept against the wood. "Nothing. There was nothing left of him...like he never even existed..."

"But we know better."

Scully stepped aside and watched, more than a bit surprised, as Tina Mulder approached and lay a comforting hand on the sobbing man's shoulder.

"He'll always be with us..."

Alex turned glittering eyes up to the woman. "I can't live on memories."

Mrs. Mulder squatted beside him. "I know you don't think so right now." Her hand moved slowly back and forth across his shoulders. "You're quite a surprise...Alex...I had no idea...but at this point," she shook her head, "I'm glad he had some happiness...some love in his life. He obviously meant the world to *you*."

Alex stared as the tears silently fell.

"The pain will never completely leave you. But it will, in time, become manageable. And one day you'll think of him and smile."

Alex shook his head, knowing that such a time would never come. Not for him.

"Alex," Scully called, taking his hand. "Come with us. We have to go back to the apartment. There's something else we need to do."

"I don't want to do anything," he whispered flatly.

"I'm sorry, Alex, but you have to." Mrs. Mulder rose to her feet, speaking in a commanding tone. "If you loved Fox as much as you appear to have, you *must* come with us. It's what he wanted."

Alex looked from the woman, who had no intention of taking no for an answer, to the casket.

"You said it yourself, dear. He's not in there. Why do you want to stay here and stare at an empty casket?"

Scully watched in shocked silence as Alex rose slowly to his feet and took the woman's outstretched hand. She and Skinner followed at a discreet distance as Tina Mulder led her son's despondent lover away from the gravesite.

Scully drove Alex back in his own car while Skinner and Mrs. Mulder took the limousine back.

Silence prevailed for the first five minutes of the ride, then Mrs. Mulder spoke up.

"What was that between you and the young man?"

//You knew it wasn't going to go by without mention.//

"Suffice it to say, Mrs. Mulder, that there is quite a bit of history involving the four of us."

"You, Alex, my son and Miss Scully?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"From the anger he displayed, I gather it wasn't a good history."

"No. No, it wasn't. I couldn't believe it when I discovered that he and your son had become a couple. Neither could Scully. But Mulder insisted that there was good in him and he had found it. Circumstances being what they were, I couldn't accept it. I was sure that Krycek was using him for some dire purpose." He leaned forward, pressing his hands together. "I was wrong. But I discovered that too late. If I had trusted Mulder's judgement...if I had believed Krycek when he called to tell me that your son was in danger...I might have been able to prevent this..."

The woman frowned, shaking her head in confusion.

"I know I'm telling this to you in bits and pieces, but the long and the short of it is, I was wrong about Alex Krycek's intentions toward your son, and Mulder could very well be gone as a result of my distrust. I can never be sorry enough, Mrs. Mulder. If I had it to do over again...if...if I could go back and change things..."

"But you can't." Mrs. Mulder took in a deep breath. "You're a fair, honorable man. My son always said that about you. If you distrusted this Alex, you must have had very good reason to do so."

"At one time, yes. But no more. I was wrong. Your son told me I was wrong, but I wouldn't hear him."

"Because you wanted to protect him."

"Yes."

He'd never tell her that there was more to the story than that. There was no point. It was his cross to bear, and he'd do so privately.

"But I was *wrong*."

"And your integrity allows you to admit that. Don't blame yourself, Mr. Skinner. It'll eat you up. I don't know that you'll ever be able to mend fences with Alex, but you've got to settle it with yourself. Fox wouldn't want all this misery on his account."

Skinner nodded, looking down at his tented hands. "I know."

"Good. Now fix it."

********************

Everyone who was supposed to be there was already at the apartment when Scully and Alex arrived. Alex looked past Skinner, Mrs. Mulder and the Gunmen to the man who sat at the dining room table with an open briefcase before him. He turned to Scully, eyeing her warily.

"Who is that?"

"The lawyer."

"Lawyer?"

"Yes. Mulder's lawyer."

His brain couldn't function far beyond his grief. "Why is he here?"

"Mulder wanted his will read right after his funeral."

"*Will*."

Scully took his hand to prevent him from bolting. "Yes, Alex. There are things he wanted to say, and the lawyer is here to convey his wishes."

"I..." he shook his head, trying to pull his hand from hers, "..I don't want to hear this...I don't have to be here..."

"Alex, you do. Mulder wanted you and the people you see here together to hear this. Now, come on. The sooner we get started, the sooner it'll be over."

Alex let Scully lead him to the chair at the head of the table and took a seat beside him. Mrs. Mulder, Langly and Frohike also sat, leaving Skinner and Byers to stand.

The attorney bid everyone welcome and extended his deepest sympathy on their loss, then pulled a number of pages from his briefcase.

"On this, the occasion of the passing of Fox William Mulder, I will now read to you his Last Will and Testament..."

Having gone through the formalities, he then pulled out another folder and began to read.

"Hello, everyone. I've obviously died or my attorney wouldn't be reading this to you. I don't know how I went or when, and who is there to listen to this, so I can only speak in the here and now. I've also never done this before, and I have no idea where to start, so I'll just jump right in...

"Langly, Frohike and Byers. Hey, guys. You've been great friends and even better allies over the years. I don't know what I would have done without you. You're the only ones who've never said to me at any time, 'Mulder, you're crazy.' I'm sure you've thought it many times, but you never said it...of course, coming from three guys who are just as crazy as me, I don't know how much water it'd hold anyway. I want you boys to have some stuff. To Frohike, I leave my vast video collection. I know you've had your eye on it for years, and there's no one I'd rather give it to. Byers, I want you to have my telescope. There's nothing more relaxing than a summer night spent looking at the stars. Just don't let Frohike use it to spy on that blonde who lives on the sixth floor across from you guys. Langly...to you I leave all my old superhero comics. I've had them since I was a kid, and I know that no one would appreciate them more than you..."

Langly shifted in his seat. "Aww, *dude*." His gaze fell to the table as Byers cast him a chastising look. "I...I mean...that was really generous of him..."

The lawyer moved on.

"A.D. Skinner. Walter..."

Skinner bowed his head and closed his eyes.

"As a boss, I couldn't have asked for any better. Your professionalism and dedication to duty are unparalleled. I meant what I said that night that I told you I believed that you'd be director someday. As a friend, you've gone above and beyond any reasonable expectation, often putting yourself on the line for me and my causes. You'll never know how grateful I am for that.

"I'm leaving you a picture. You may not recall it at the moment, but when you see it, it should come back to you. We were all at that stupid convention a couple of years ago in Memphis. Remember the director called you into his office, told you that his records showed that somehow you'd managed to avoid every Bureau function, and gave you a direct order to attend? And you were so ticked off about it that in turn you made Scully and me go too? Remember how, in spite of everything, we wound up having a pretty good time at the social on the last night? I've got a picture that the staff photographer snapped of the three of us. Scully made some off color comment about A.D. Weinshull's toupee, and you spit your drink out all over me. The photographer caught us all laughing our asses off and you trying to dry my suit with your tie. That was the first and last time I'd ever seen you laugh. Look at it from time to time, Walt, and remember that you're human, with a human's needs and emotions. Don't be afraid of them. Embrace them and you'll see that sometimes amazing things can happen. Trust me on this, Walt, I know from which I speak."

Skinner pushed away from the wall and moved past the group assembled at the table. He stopped in the middle of the living room, hands in his pockets, staring out at nothing in particular.

Of the seven people in the dining room, five turned their eyes his way, looking on in sympathy. One of the remaining two organized his papers, and the other one sat motionless and silent, head down, eyes cast to the floor.

The attorney cleared his throat softly and continued on.

"Scully..."

Azure eyes welled up at the mention of the name Fox had used so often. Scully could count on one hand the amount of times over the past six years that Mulder ever called her Dana. And in those six years, 'Scully' had become as common to her as her first name.

"...You're a rock. I hope you're not laughing because I mean that sincerely and with the utmost love and respect. You were always there with me. Always the one I could lean on. Even when I insisted on standing alone, you were there standing at the edge of my sanity, waiting to catch me should I topple into the abyss..."

Scully sat, eyes squeezed shut, fighting with every last ounce of strength she possessed to keep her composure. A gentle hand over hers opened her eyes, and she looked across to Tina Mulder who gave her a trembling smile. She returned the gesture and lifted her chin, listening stoically to the rest of her partner's words.

"...We've been through so much together, Scully. So much tragedy has befallen you as a result of your loyalty to me and the X-files, and you've never wavered. I don't know that I deserved such devotion, but I'll be forever grateful for it. And for you. I couldn't have wished for a better friend. I love you, Scully. And I think you know that I wouldn't leave the X-files to anyone but you. I trust you to see the work through, and even though your ideas don't usually gel with mine, I know you'll still treat each case with respect...and hey, Scully? Try not to get too excited, but this also means that you can have my desk..."

A smile curved Scully's lips as tears rolled over them.

"...I know it's a much nicer desk than yours. Just do me a favor, okay? If they should try to stick you with someone else, don't go as easy on them as I went on you. And for God's sake, don't let them touch any of my stuff....well, I guess it's your stuff now, but *still*..."

"*Easy*," Scully whispered, smiling. "Mulder, what were you smoking when you wrote this?"

"Scully, I'm going to talk to you again in a little while, but right now, I have to move on....Mom."

The only remaining Mulder looked up at the mention of her name.

"As I said at the beginning of this, Mom, I'm speaking to you all in the here and now. If this is the version of my will that you're hearing, chances are not much has changed to warrant revision. That in mind, the first thing I want to do is say I love you. And I'm sorry I wasn't able to find Samantha for you, or at least find out for sure what happened to her. I never stopped looking, never stopped trying, but it was never enough. I'm sorry, Mom, I failed you. I would have loved to have been able to bring her home to you. Especially now that I'm gone. I hate the thought of you being all alone. I know we hardly saw each other, but I think there's something to be said about just knowing that someone is around.

"I wasn't sure what I could give you that would have any real meaning for you, then I thought about the summer I took some vacation time and visited you in Rhode Island. Remember I found all those old photo albums in t