NC17-contains sexual activites between 2 males so if this bothers you, leave
now.

Disclaimer:Not mine ;( 10/13 forgive me.

Vignette: takes place the night after "Do Not Go Gentle" finishes.

Contains angst ridden terminal schmaltz, but I wanted my boys to be happy
for a change.

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Good For the Soul:

Noises in the night...I awaken with a start. I'm not used to sleeping in a
bed. Not this bed. I've never really spent time in this bed, I usually fall
asleep on the couch with the TV going. I'm not used to company. I've been
alone for a long time now, and I had gotten used to the fact that this is
how it's always gonna be. They say that what you've never had you'll never
miss and now I know how true that is. I never missed you at all before now.

So what was it that woke me? I don't sleep too well. Betrayal will do that
to you, and I've been betrayed so many times. I know you will be able to
identify with that! How did I get here like this, with you? I lie quiet for
a moment and listen. I think you called out my name. That must be why I
woke. Now as I come awake I hear a faint pattering of rain on the window.
The fridge in the kitchen is doing its thing again. Maybe I should get it
looked at. It's very old, and has trouble keeping it's cool - a bit like me
I guess!

I can't hear anything else except for your breathing. You are beside me,
pressed against me like a child against its mother, heating my flesh, my
thoughts and my desires. You are breathing gently, regularly as you sleep
and I am overwhelmed by the heat of you. You burn with vital flame, and even
at rest you are the warmth of the summer sun to me. Without you I am cold,
dark, lost in ice and dead. I don't understand how this could possibly have
happened. When did I suddenly find that I needed you, that I could no longer
contemplate living without you? When was it that you suddenly became the
meaning behind everything I am? It seems as if yesterday I was whole,
pursuing my own interests and feeling complete, and then, all of a sudden,
without warning, I became a half of something greater. Now, if you leave me
I will bleed.

I can see your dark hair in the half light, sweat making it stand up in
spiky tufts, lending you a little boy innocence that I know is misleading.
My assassin, you are so deadly, how can it not show on your face? Your
beautiful eyes are veiled in sleep and the long dark lashes fan out on your
cheeks. You look so comfortable, you sleep like a cat, completely at rest
wherever you might be.

My throat develops a lump as I look at you. I want to touch you, to make you
know that you are mine, right now, mine. I don't want to wake you, you are
sleeping so gently, so perfectly, but I can't keep from bending forward to
brush my lips over your temple, just where the dark hair fades to down, and
your forehead begins. You snuffle a little as I do this, and the crease
across the top of your nose, appears momentarily as you frown. My heart
thumps painfully as I think I've woken you and spoiled your sleep, but
slowly the worry lines fade from your face, and you nuzzle the pillow
slightly as you recapture your dream. I watch you, and hope that somewhere,
somehow, I am a part of your dream. You look so self contained as you sleep
on. How could it possibly be that you need me? What could I ever bring to
you that you don't already have? I know the answer, I know it. Pain!

That's my gift to you. That's what you always take away from me, whatever I
mean to offer. Tell me how to stop hurting you my dark angel. Tell me how to
make everything right again. I need to know how we can live happily ever
after.

My body feels heavy and warm from our exertions. You wrecked me last night
you know. When I yelled your name out loud it was a scream for mercy. Now I
feel peaceful. Every part of me is singing with the joy of our love.

You do love me, don't you?

What am I saying? You must love me. You have to love me. Nobody could have
endured everything that you have gone through for someone they just liked a
little. Would you give your arm for someone just because it was your job?

Once more I lean forward and my lips hover over yours. I can feel the heat
from them, your breath sweet on my cheek, and I can't resist any longer, I
fall into them and my hand comes up of itself to cradle your jaw as I kiss
you deeply. I turn my lips on your mouth, until I can open yours and let my
tongue slide in to find you. You come awake with a groan, and I can feel
your breathing change. You kiss me back and I'm drowning in the smell of
you, the sheer, musky perfume of you. The warmth and silkiness of your skin,
the roughness of your cheek,and the shivering delight as your tongue strokes
against mine makes my head reel and I hold you so tightly you gasp. I can't
let you go. I pull you so close I hear my joints creak a little, and still I
want to be closer. I can understand the allure of the vampire myth. I want
to drink your blood, eat your flesh, feel you part of me, flooding through
my body. I want to crawl into your skin and be within you, warm for always.
We kiss for a long time, and when we finally break apart we are gasping.

"I'm so sorry I woke you." Gleam of eyes, flash of teeth in the darkness.

"I'm not!" Husky voice murmuring so softly I have to strain to hear it.
Growling I push you onto your back and roll to cover your body with mine. My
mouth comes down to meet yours again, seeking to suck your breath away. I
snake my tongue between your lips and my hands move to caress you, one to
slide over the skin of your chest, down along your side and ending on the
cheek of your behind where it grasps and presses you into me, the other
resting alongside your jaw, then slowly moving to the back of your neck to
hold your head against the pressing of my mouth, my thumb caressing your
ear. There is no escape for you tonight my lover. You are mine, and I will
have you. Slowly, you trace my spine, making me shiver with lust and I moan
softly into your mouth.

What are you doing to me? I'm so horny! I haven't felt like this ever. Even
Miss October 1979 did not produce so much excitement. I grind my pelvis into
you, and feel your response as you push to meet me. We are both hard again.
How can this possibly be after last night? I thought I'd never be able to
move again. let alone fuck you, the way I want to, need to now. I move to
close my hand on your penis and you whimper. as you are caught in my grasp,
unable to stop me. Unwilling to stop me I hope.

I pull back, and see you smiling. Your eyes are closed and you have such a
look on your face I think I'm going to die with love for you. Oh my Alex, I
love you so much.

I reach up to grope along the bedhead, looking for the Astroglide. In the
faint light from the clock-radio I can see your eyes open. and you smile at
me as I fumble. I know you. You are my captive and I won't let you go. My
hands reject the Maalox and finally close on the lube. I grin down into your
face, and brandish it. Your fingers come up to trace my lips, and then you
hold out your hand for me to put the moisture into. I tremble as I pour, and
a great dollop goes onto your chest. The hiss of your sharp intake of breath
as you feel the cold on your skin makes us both giggle. I don't ever
remember laughing so much or so easily. I don't remember anyone sharing
jokes with me without needing to explain and explain. All I need to do is
meet your eyes and I can see you share the same sense of the ridiculous. I
don't have to explain things to you my dark angel. You know how I think.

You are stroking the length of my prick, wetting it, sending splinters of
shivery delight from the small of my back, through my groin to the backs of
my knees. At this point I am glad we are lying down because I couldn't stand
up if I tried. I scoop from the puddle of goo on your chest and reach down
to feel between your legs, searching for the small opening there and
liberally slathering it with lube. We're going to have such a wet spot in
this bed before we've finished!

"Come on, spread for me." My voice sounds rusty with need and you lift up
your head to kiss me, running your tongue over my lower lip, and from there
across my chin and down my neck. Your eyes close again, and you sigh as you
pull your legs up to accommodate me. The tip of my penis is pushing, pushing
into you and you bite your lower lip, rolling your head from side to side as
I sink deeper and deeper into you. Finally, I am so far inside you that I
feel your tension as a series of little pulses that may just push me over
the edge before I even start to move.

I put my hands one on either side of your face, and hold you like that for a
minute. My thumbs caress the corners of your mouth, and I kiss you deeply,
then pull back again.

"Open your eyes, I want to see you come. I want you to watch me." Your eyes
fly open again as you raise your mouth up to me. More kisses, and you gasp
as I start to thrust into you. I'm going to lose it very soon, can't Keep
this up for long. I feel for your cock, and pump it in rhythm with my
thrusting.

"Oh Baby! Oh, God, I love you." You are velvet, and your voice drips like
honey on my soul. I look into your eyes, and you shiver.

"Say it, say my name." I pause in my movements and you whimper, wriggling to
try and re-start the ecstasy. "Come on Alex, I want to hear you say it."

"Fox! Oh God, Fox! You know it's you. It was always you. I love you Fox."

I keep still, and you pull on the back of my neck as I lie, your face still
cradled in my hands. I resist your attempts to kiss me, waiting. I don't
know what I'm waiting for.

You trace the side of my face with your index finger, then slip it between
my lips. I wait still, feeling my orgasm subside slightly. I am just about
to plunge hard into you again when you speak.

"I killed your father because he was alien, Fox. He had been possessed by
the aliens for a number of years. When you took everything that you knew to
him that day, I realised that it was time for him to kill you, and I
couldn't let you die. You see, when you didn't know anything, you weren't a
threat to them. Once you began to find out about them they knew you couldn't
be controlled and you couldn't be silenced. His job was to make sure you
would never compromise the Consortium. He hadn't been your father for a long
time Fox. I had to do it." Your voice, husky to begin with, catches on a
sob. You close your eyes, and I see the look of hopeless resignation steal
over your face. I have nothing to say. I am stunned. Staring at you in the
half light I feel my whole body suffused with love for you. I see the
terrible scar where once your left arm used to be. I see the pain on your
face, and the scars on your body, many of them put there by me. I bend and
kiss you again, feeling tears on your cheek, pausing to lick them away. I
move within you, and you gasp.

Moving faster, pounding into you, I'm lost now and I can't stop, don't ever
want to stop. You scream out my name again, and it's all perfect. All I've
ever wanted, here, distilled in my arms tonight. Wet stickiness on my belly,
ropes of semen pulsing from your cock as you arch back into the pillow, your
hand tangled in the sheet. I'm gone feeling the bright heat of tingling
sweet joy radiating out from my balls to pour myself into you. I collapse
onto your chest, and lie, listening to our hearts pounding together.

At last, I lift my head to look at you again, and see you watching in the
half-light, your face a shadowed mystery, your eyes gleaming from the
darkness. I know you are waiting, and I know I can make it all better this
time.

"Shhh, Alex, it's OK. It will always be OK. I love you." Your breath exhales
on a shuddering sigh, and you clasp me convulsively. With our arms around
each other, we sleep again at last.

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