This is my response to Rowanne's January challenge. Man, I just
"To Alex Krycek, Thanks for Everything. Love, Tallulah Mulder"
by Dr. Ruthless
Rated: NC17 for slashy bits
Beta by Orithain, Frankie and Paula, who ought to know better
by now, but
thank heavens they don't!
Disclaimer: They belong to 1013, but feel prettier with me.
Agent Fox Mulder was getting ready to go out on the town. He had
stepped out of the shower, and his lean body glistened with unshed
of water. He had shaved using a straight razor, and was now in
the act of
moisturizing his skin. He studied his features in the mirror,
carefully picked up a pair of tweezers and began to pluck his
He and Scully had spent the evening together the Saturday before,
had, for some reason, tuned into "To Wong Foo, Thanks for
Julie Newmar". Mulder had been mesmerized, completely unable
to get over the
fact Wesley Snipes was in drag, and looked pretty damned hot.
commented on this and Scully had said how much of a turn-on it
was to see
him dressed that way. Mulder had been horrified at the thought.
sniggered at his outrage, and his nightmare had begun.
Before the evening had ended, somehow (and Mulder was inclined
to put the
blame on too much rum!) he had been suckered into taking a bet.
could not believe he had done it; however, it seemed that there
he could do but go through with the bet. He cast his mind back
conversation that had started all this.
"My God, Scully, look at Swayze! He makes a great woman!"
Mulder took a swig
of his rum and coke, and gestured vaguely at the gender bender
before him on
"He's not believable. Look at his chin! I'd know straight
away he wasn't
female." Scully, slightly less tipsy than Mulder, was working
"I think I'd make a pretty hot looking woman. What do you
think, Scully?" He
put one hand behind his hair, the other on his hip, and posed,
"Jeez, Mulder, forget it! You'd make all the guys run for
their lives!" She
laughed, and that's when it had happened.
"You don't think I could be a believable woman? I bet you
anything I could!"
His heart sank as he recalled the bravado he had felt as he had
silly statement. She had been on it like a flash, and he had been
before he knew it.
The bet was simple. They were going to go out together as girls.
going to win if anyone hit on him, anyone male that was. If anyone
that he was a guy in drag, Scully would win. He had to win, because
stakes were so important to him. The winner got to drive the two
of them for
the next month. He just had to win!
Studying the face in the mirror, Mulder began to apply make-up.
He wanted to
be subtle about it and not look like a drag queen. He began with
foundation, checking out his neck to make sure it was blended
and then applied a little blusher.
//If anyone tries to pick me up, I won't be needing blusher!//
Surveying himself, he nodded in satisfaction and started work
on his eyes.
Shadow tones of plum and earth colors were carefully blended,
and with great
glee he picked up a dark kohl-stick and smudged some around his
Hmmm he was beginning to turn himself on! That's how good a woman
be. Who could resist him! He began to hum "I feel pretty"
as he painted.
Mascara was next, and he painstakingly added coat after coat to
Nearly done now! He studied his lips. Hah! This was going to be
a piece of
cake. Oh, boy! He'd show Scully. Picking up a lipstick, he began
to apply a
deep rose color to his mouth.
Surveying his face, he nodded in satisfaction. He would do. He
picked up the
wig. It was a tumble of long brown curls, and though privately
he thought he
was going to look like a country singer on the loose from Dollywood,
thought it suited him. He carefully fixed it onto his head, arranging
bangs around his face. Turning, he studied the whole thing in
full-length mirror. His head and neck looked great. His hairy
large penis were not quite in character. He needed to complete
Turning, he left his bathroom and headed for his bedroom.
There on the bed lay his outfit. Black hold-up stockings, silky
lace shirt with very full sleeves and a black leather skirt and
vest. He was
going to be so cute!
When Dana Scully rang the buzzer to collect Mulder, she was grinning
ear to ear. On hearing him call that he would be right down, she
wait in her car. When the door opened, and a tall woman with long
came trotting out of the apartment block, she did not pay too
attention, but when the tall woman opened her car door and stepped
did a double take.
"M.. Mulder!" She looked at him, totally incredulous.
"Holy shit, Mulder!"
Her jaw dropped.
"Hi, Dana! I'm Felicia. You can call me Fox for short."
The voice was husky
and light. The person in the car with her was doing all the feminine
that usually irritated her most.
"Mulder, if you wrinkle up your nose and giggle, I'm going
to vomit, and I
warn you now, I throw up to the right!" She started the car
and pulled away.
Mulder chortled to himself.
//She thought I was going to make a hash of it. I'll show her!//
He did not know the bar to which she had brought him. It was in
an area of
town that he was not familiar with, but there were a number of
bars on the
street, and an overflow of people moving between them. Music thumped
the soles of his feet, and surrounded by crowds of people, he
began to enjoy
his evening. Scully led him up to the bar and bought them both
a drink. He
surveyed the rum and coke, and wondered whether he should. Look
trouble he had gotten into after his last night drinking these
Finally, he shrugged his shoulders and took a sip. Then, he drank
it down in
one, and ordered another two, before turning to follow Scully.
Together, they threaded their way through the throng and found
seats at a
table close to the small, crowded dance floor. Scully, dressed
as Mulder had
never seen her, in a short velvet dress that fit her so closely
wondered if she was actually wearing underwear, touched Mulder's
pointed to a table a little way back, where a couple of men were
watching them. As Mulder looked across, one of the men raised
his glass to
him. Mulder felt very strange as the man continued looking at
him out of
hooded eyes over the top of his drink. He frowned, turning quickly
"I can't do this. That man just.." His voice tailed
off. Scully started to
laugh at that point.
"Do you concede? I get to drive for the next month, Mulder!"
complexion went pale.
"No! I didn't say I give in. I'm just worried about your
choice of venue.
You'll get into trouble here, Scully."
Just then, Scully, still laughing, was approached by a tall man
in denim who
asked her to dance. Blowing Mulder a kiss, she rose from her seat
disappeared in the wake of her dance partner. Suddenly, Mulder
was all alone
and feeling very vulnerable indeed. He craned his neck to see
partner had gone, but she had vanished into the crowd. He sat
trying to ignore the table behind him, where he had seen his admirer.
wasn't quite so sure of his ability to carry this off any more.
As he sat, sipping his drink, he felt someone sit down just behind
blood ran cold, and he felt a warm arm steal around his waist
nuzzled into his hair, pushing it away from his neck. He felt
warm breath on
the back of his neck and would have jumped up if he could. The
high heels, the crowded club, and the arm clamped around his waist
him from making his escape. He attempted to turn around and see
assaulting him this way, but at that point, he heard a low, husky,
voice, and he knew who it was.
"Hey, Baby, you look so good tonight. Are you going to save
the last dance
for me?" There was a laugh in Krycek's voice. Mulder gritted
"Fuck off, Krycek. Why do you always pop up just when I need
you least? I'm
trying to win a bet here." He felt Krycek still nuzzling
his neck, and with
a start, he realized that his bete noir was not just nuzzling,
he had begun
to lick, and then to kiss Mulder's neck.
"For God's sake, get off me. I don't want you touching me.
I'mI'm not that
type of girl!"
Krycek laughed. The hand that encircled his waist dropped slightly,
for the tell-tale bulge that heralded Mulder's arousal.
"No, I can tell you aren't. You are certainly my type of
girl though. Come
on, lets dance!"
Mulder felt as if he was in the middle of some kind of drug induced
Sinking the rest of his drink, he considered his options.
Firstly, he could collect his things and go home in a huff, but
would lose his bet. Secondly, he could take a swing at Krycek.
Now there was
an option that appealed to him. However, he would then blow his
lose his bet. Thirdly, he could ignore Krycek. This had appeal,
but he knew
from bitter experience that ignoring the pest wouldn't make him
Nope, he would end up blowing it, and he would lose his bet. Not
Fourthly, he could dance with Krycek. He could vamp Krycek. The
would take off so quickly once he realized what Mulder was doing.
still leave him a chance to win the bet.
Turning slightly, he smiled sweetly at Krycek and fluttered his
with a simpering smile.
"Oh, Alex, I didn't think you liked little, old me."
He took a deep breath,
rose from his seat, and taking Alex's hand, headed for the dance
Turning towards his nemesis, he let the music take over as he
hands around Krycek's neck and snuggled into him. Krycek, who
was dressed as
usual in faded blue jeans and denim shirt, pulled Mulder close,
and the two
of them began to dance.
"Would you mind telling me what the hell you're doing, Mulder?"
voice broke into his reverie. He had been quite enjoying himself
moment, allowing the music and the alcohol to carry him wherever
wanted. He had suddenly found himself where he had wanted to be
for the past
four years. He was in Krycek's arms. Forget the fact that it was
a joke. He
had wanted Krycek for as long as he had known him. He knew that
just give up and go home, but he wanted Krycek, and he was not
going to be
the one to give up first. When Krycek realized that Mulder wasn't
be intimidated but that he was rather going to play it up for
all he was
worth, the Russian was going to cut and run. Mulder was looking
that. He would cherish the concept for the rest of his life.
"I'm trying to win a bet, Krycek." Mulder kept using
his "girlie" voice.
Krycek pulled back a little to look at him. "I have to win
it. Scully gets
to drive for a month if I don't!"
Krycek's shoulders shook.
"What do you have to do to win?" The voice broke a little
as he inquired
through his laughter.
"I have to entice someone to hit on me. Hey, I think I already
gave a little wriggle with his hips, and then froze. Krycek was
pleased to see him, or he had a crowbar stuffed down the front
of his Levis.
Mulder was not sure he wanted to know which was the right answer.
Krycek didn't answer for a minute, and then, very deliberately,
forward and applied his lips to Mulder's. Mulder felt as if he
been doused in cold water. There was a hole in his stomach where
it had just
melted down into slag. His own penis, tucked neatly back to ensure
lines of his skirt weren't spoiled, suddenly became very uncomfortable
indeed. It began to harden, making Mulder feel as if he needed
to stand on
Krycek's lips were soft and warm, and his breath was sweet on
cheek. As Mulder stood, frozen, the Russian slowly, gently parted
lips and slid his tongue into Mulder's mouth. Mulder gasped. His
instinctively up against his dance partner's hardness, and Mulder
knew he had miscalculated.
He struggled to free himself from the other man's kiss. It was
too good. He
knew it would not be wise to continue.
"You bastard! What are you trying to do?" Mulder forgot
his 'voice' in his
"Help you win your bet, honey." came the snarky reply.
you're all woman!" He dropped his head and began to kiss
his neck again.
Just at that moment, Scully walked by the two of them, and her
as she saw Mulder, a strange man buried in his neck, looking around
frantically for assistance. Ignoring Mulder's mute appeal, she
their table, leaving Mulder to his fate.
"OK, Krycek. You can come up for air now, she's gone."
Krycek lifted his
"Go home, Mulder. We aren't finished yet. Not by a long shot,
but I would
rather continue this little discussion in private. I'll see you
Krycek took Mulder's hand, kissed it and bowed over it, before
disappearing into the crowd. Mulder stood for a minute, watching
shook himself, turned and went to find Scully.
As he arrived back to where the still grinning Scully was sitting,
the car keys from her purse and put them on the table, acknowledging
He laughed, pushing them back to her. "Thanks, Scully, but
let's start from
tomorrow. I've had rather a lot to drink tonight. I'll take a
"Are you going home?" Scully appeared disappointed.
"No, I've got a hot date with my secret admirer!" He
grinned. "Of course I'm
going home. I don't know how you women put up with all thisthis
and tightness and stuff. I can't stand in these shoes for another
He leaned down and kissed her cheek, and then sashayed out of
wondering where Alex had gone.
He fell into step alongside Mulder before the other man had gone
block from the bar.
"Hey, Tallulah! I'll take you home. Wouldn't want to see
you getting taken
advantage of." Krycek reached out to take Mulder's hand and
towed him away
towards the line of cars parked at the curb side. By this time,
adopted a fatalistic attitude to the evening and merely turned,
where Krycek led him. Arriving beside a small black Ford, Krycek
door and gestured for Mulder to enter. Casting his fate to the
They had driven through the night without speaking, and on arrival
Mulder's apartment building, they had wordlessly climbed the stairs.
Mulder opened his door, Krycek, following close on his heels,
through it, and grabbed him, pulling him into a kiss that was
so hard it
bruised. Mulder felt his knees going weak.
"Krycek, what are you trying to achieve here? There's no
one to see me
getting humiliated, so it's not as if it's even worth it."
The other man's face hardened as he gazed into Mulder's eyes from
of about three inches.
"I don't need to humiliate you, Mulder. I'm not even trying
to. I want to go
to bed with you, that's all. I've always wanted to." Krycek's
over Mulder's ears like silk on a wound. It felt soft, sexy, with
promise of raw pain to follow. Mulder shuddered.
"Do what you like, I've got to get out of these clothes.
They are driving me
crazy." He began to strip off his vest and blouse, pulling
at the stuffed
brassiere he wore beneath it, and scratching with a sigh once
succeeded in removing it. He kicked off his pumps and undid the
of his skirt. Alex had been standing, watching this process, and
now gave a
groan and grabbed the bewigged Mulder, gluing his mouth to the
special agent. This kiss was so intense, Mulder moaned and began
to try and
struggle free. He pushed the other man away, but Alex fought,
Mulder found himself, wig askew, lying on the floor beneath the
Krycek yanked the wig from his head, dropped his mouth down onto
and proceeded to conduct a millimeter by millimeter search of
Mulder's mouth, from tonsils to taste buds. Mulder gave up the
could feel his own belly begin to melt down, and if he could only
dick out of captivity, he knew that it would be standing to attention,
begging for release. He put up his hands to clasp Krycek to him
For a long moment, there were no sounds in the room other than
the rustle of
leather against denim, and the wet sound of mouth meeting mouth.
they drew apart, and Mulder, who by this time was experiencing
discomfort, begged to be allowed up off the floor.
Krycek let him stand up, holding out his hand to help him to his
Quickly, Mulder dragged off the skirt and underwear that had been
constricting him. Standing in front of Krycek, clad in black stockings,
paint, and a raging hard on, Mulder was a wet dream for Krycek.
tried, without noticeable success, to undo his buttons and remove
clothes. In the end, Mulder took pity on him and stepped in to
trembling double agent's clothing.
Mulder had always known that Alex would be beautiful. He was beautiful.
Mulder couldn't get over were the scars on his body. He was covered
From the terrible ruin of his missing left forearm, to the bullet
knife scars that criss-crossed his torso, Mulder could not believe
he must have been hurt. His heart gave a thud. Then he opened
his arms and
flung them around Alex, offering up his mouth to be kissed.
They found their way into the bedroom by touch rather than by
arms were tight around each other, and their lips were desperately
for the time they had lost out on in the past, as the two of them
and sucked and licked at each other. Eventually, they came into
the bed. Mulder pushed Alex down, covering him with his body as
the two of
them continued to explore each other. They said nothing, and it
seemed as if
they had no need of words.
Mulder lay over Krycek and slowly moved from his mouth to his
a sweet pathway with his tongue as he slowly worked his way down.
gently nipped and tugged at the skin of the other man's neck.
muttering softly in Russian, words that Mulder did not know, had
His fingers found Krycek's nipples, and he tugged and tweaked
at each one in
turn, finally circling them with his tongue and biting them gently.
cried out at that and buried his fingers in Mulder's hair, throwing
back and closing his eyes.
Mulder continued his exploration of the other man's body, taking
note of which caresses made him jump and twitch. He mouthed his
the flat stomach, pausing to dip his tongue into the navel he
giggled and heaved in an attempt to dislodge him, and it made
when he realised that his ex-partner must be ticklish.
Working his way down to Krycek's groin, Mulder considered the
reared there. It was straight and hard, and Mulder could see the
moisture oozing from the tiny slit in the head. Putting out his
probed around the slit, tasting Alex's juices and making him cry
Then, he began to stroke around the other man's inner thighs,
legs to nibble at the loose skin of his balls, dropping lower
to lave the
perineum, and finally to lick at the small opening that lay beneath.
gave another cry, and Mulder could see that he was very close
to coming. He
took the Russian's cock in his hand and squeezed, before starting
to pump it
steadily. As Alex sighed, he pushed down once more and licked
at the other
man's ass, slowly pushing his tongue in, and then fluttering it
in and out
as he pumped. Alex was rigid. Finally, he came, the semen spurting
cover Mulder's fingers, and Krycek's belly. Slowly, he dipped
a finger into
the glistening whiteness and tasted it, then offered some to his
moaned again and grabbed Mulder's head, pulling him up for a deep,
As Alex kissed him, he rolled him over onto his back, and Mulder
with a little thrill that it was his turn now. He held the other
between his hands for a second, gazing at the impossibly thick
surrounded those huge green eyes. He looked at the little straight
the little tilt to the end of it, and the carefully molded cupid's
bow of a
mouth and wondered how he had not realized just how much he wanted
Alex whimpered and lowered his face, capturing Mulder's mouth
Then he backed off and sat, tracing lazy circles over Mulder's
pinching and nipping with clever fingers, and finally bringing
down to engulf Mulder's cock, making him gasp as the hot wetness
sperm begin to rise.
Alex opened his throat as Mulder pushed into his mouth, and as
bobbed up and down on the shaft, he managed to engulf the entire
sucking and licking until Mulder knew he was going to lose it.
He tried to
pull Alex away from his incipient orgasm, but Alex was not to
and finally, Mulder could hold off no longer. He felt his balls
and the whole of his body, from his scalp to his toes went rigid
almost unbearable pleasure of it surged through him. Throughout
it all, Alex
sucked, and Mulder was aware of his hum of satisfaction as he
Finally, sated, the two of them cuddled up. Mulder was aware that
things the two of them needed to discuss but was content to leave
the morning, preferring to spend this night in friendly contact
with the man
lying beside him. Krycek, however was not so laid back.
"Mulder." The first time he had heard the voice, he
had edited it out, but
this was louder, and it seemed that the other man was not to be
"What, Krycek?" He mumbled plaintively, sleep all but
taking him even as he
"Mulder, you can't go to sleep like that, you slut. You have
to take off
your make-up, or you'll get pimples."