Disclaimer: Not mine. Theirs.
Rating: NC-17 for m/m sex, rape, and violence.
Summary: When Alex goes back to Fox, things will never be the same.
Notes: This is the other Lying ending that came out of my head (with yet another Michael appearance), but I think it can stand on its own. Sue, as always, thank you for your help and encouragement. Any remaining mistakes (and there are bound to be some) are mine. I'd also like to thank those of you who wanted more.....you may be sorry.
WARNING: This story has Mulder and Krycek doing some really bad things to someone else. If you don't want to see that, please don't read it and then email me telling me how much you hate it. Or do. I don't care. You've been warned.
Feedback: Yeah, good or bad. I'm feeling brave tonight. firstname.lastname@example.org
I didn't feel like dying tonight, so I couldn't go home. My apartment was currently being remodeled courtesy of some nameless, faceless thugs, who had probably been ordered to shoot me the second I walked in the front door. I don't know what I'd done to piss off so many people, but I was used to being hunted. I silently thanked whatever force had seen fit for me to notice the lights on in my apartment and the shadows moving behind the thin curtains. Looks like I'd have to move again.
Where to go until I could head back and gather my minuscule belongings? The bars where I usually hung out held no appeal for me. Truth be told, all I wanted was to go back to him and beg his forgiveness for leaving him. It was such an unfamiliar feeling for me. I didn't give a shit about anyone and here I was worrying about what he thought of me and how could I make it up to him. I got lost in my thoughts as I wandered the streets, finally ending up in front of his building. Now what? Could I just go up there and act as if nothing had happened the last time I saw him? How the hell could I act like I hadn't told him I loved him then left him? Shit. Life had been so much easier before I started acting like a human being again. It had gotten me burned once before and now it was coming back to bite me in the ass.
I stared up at his window a few moments then crossed the street to the pay phone. There was always the chance that he wasn't home. Maybe I could just hide out for a few minutes and then leave. If I couldn't be with him, I could at least be around his things. Dialing the number I knew by heart, I counted the rings and waited for the machine to pick up so I could hear his voice.
"Mulder." Shit. Why the hell was he home?
"Hello?" He sounded tired and I wondered if I'd woken him up.
There was a lengthy pause but I didn't want to hang up until he did.
"Alex? Is that you?" How the hell did he do that? Now I couldn't hang up because he'd know for sure that it was me.
"Please say something."
I figured he could already hear my heart beating, he didn't need to hear my voice too.
"Who is this?" His voice was angry now. Finally he slammed the phone down. I kept the phone pressed to my ear. I could still feel him there.
After I hung up the phone, I stayed in the shadows, still watching his window. A few minutes later, I saw him come out the front door to his building. I had to stop myself from running to him and telling him that I was a fucking idiot. I was ready to slap the shit out of myself for feeling like such a sap. I managed to keep still and saw him head down the street. Now was my chance, I guess.
It didn't take me long to pick the lock. I knew I didn't have much time, but it would make me feel better just to spend a few moments here. I opened the door and walked in. I inhaled deeply....he'd just been breathing this air. I could smell him everywhere and feel him inside me. I didn't want to exhale, to let go. I went into his kitchen and found his tequila. I'm sure I'd have time for one little drink. I took a swig straight from the bottle and relaxed as the liquor warmed and comforted me, it's hot fingers spreading through my body. I took another quick drink and put the bottle away. I opened his fridge to see if he had anything good to eat. There are some things man wasn't meant to see and the inside of Fox Mulder's refrigerator was one of them. Shuddering, I walked into the bedroom and lay down with a groan. I was so tired and angry...and horny. Every breath I took filled my nostrils with his smell and I imagined him here with me, his lips on my throat, his hand traveling slowly down my chest, over my stomach, creeping lower until it trailed over my crotch. God, I wanted him. I wondered if he'd know I'd been here.
I opened my eyes at the sound of the front door opening. Fuck! I'd fallen asleep. I looked at my watch and saw that I'd been out for half an hour. I had no time to do anything but try to hide in his bedroom closet and hope he'd fall asleep on the couch, allowing me to slip out unseen. I couldn't let him see me after the way I left him. If I saw him and we started talking, I'd be lost again. I desperately wanted to touch him, hold him, make love to him, but I couldn't ruin his life by letting him love me.
I slipped into the closet and looked out the slightly open door. I heard the door close and was surprised to hear two voices.
"Wow, Fox, you have a nice place," a male voice said. I immediately tensed and felt my stomach turn. He wouldn't do that to me.
"Thanks," I heard Mulder grunt, noncommittally.
"Where's the bedroom?"
My heart lurched at hearing those words and I was sure I'd be sick. How the fuck could he say he loved me, then go and find someone else to share his bed? Fox, you piece of shit. Why did you forget about me so quickly?
"For someone who doesn't do a lot of this, you're pretty sure of yourself, Michael."
He'd picked up some shitfaced fucker in a bar and he knew his name? I could understand the anonymous fuck, and that's what made it so good -- the anonymous part. Once you knew a name, there was some kind of intimacy present that wasn't there before to fuck things up. He knew his goddamn name! I still hadn't seen the little shit, but I was ready to shoot him. And Fox. He wasn't going to fuck me over anymore. My hand crept around to the back of my jeans where I kept my partner in crime and I touched it, running my fingers over its cool, hard assurance. Two bullets and I'd be outta here.
I pulled my gun out completely and held it in my steady hand. Soon I saw my two targets as they stumbled into the bedroom, both drunk and a little uneasy on their feet. When I saw the prick with Mulder, I couldn't believe my eyes. He looked like a smaller, younger, wussier version of me. It was all I could do to not burst out laughing at Mulder's shitty taste in men. For just a moment I wondered if that meant anything. Did he miss me? No, he wouldn't now that he had someone else to screw. I was out of the picture for good. My mouth was suddenly dry and it hurt when I tried to swallow. I'd have to do this fast and then get out of here.
I hesitated as I watched Mulder fall onto the bed and pull the other guy down with him. I felt my insides twist into knots at the sight of the man I'd confessed my love to, kissing someone else the way he kissed me. He'd said he loved me and here he was, ready to fuck some guy he'd just picked up. I guess romance really was dead.
I couldn't stop watching the way this Michael guy was all over my Fox. He was so hot for him and it was like watching myself kissing him, sucking and licking those lips. My groin started to throb with the familiar, painful ache of arousal as I looked at them on the bed. I felt a slight twinge of hope at the look on Mulder's face. It told me that he just wanted to fuck the guy and couldn't be bothered with anymore foreplay. I was shocked when Mulder pulled Michael off him, winding a fist in the kid's hair and yanking on it brutally. That sight made my cock twitch and I fell even more deeply in love with the man I was doing such a shitty job of forgetting. I could forgive him if he'd just do something to show me he didn't care about this loser. I almost came in my pants when Mulder forced Michael face down on the bed and started pulling the kid's pants down.
"What are you doing?" The kid's voice was whiny and scared. I was so tempted to go out there and shove my dick down his throat just to make him shut up.
"I think you can figure that out," Mulder said as he undid his jeans and released his erection. He fumbled through his pockets and took out a condom and some lube, applying both to his beautiful cock.
"Are you going to hurt me?" His voice shook. Mulder would never hurt him. Badly.
"What the fuck do you think?" Mulder sounded so angry and turned on as he spread the kid's legs. "Just keep quiet." He placed the head of his penis to Michael's asshole.
"Please, don't do this!" Michael whined. He tried to buck Mulder off him. "I don't want it like this."
"Sure you do. You wanted me so much just a second ago." Mulder's voice was hoarse with excitement. I wanted nothing more than to see him finish this. When he suddenly ripped into him, making him scream in pain at the intrusion, I lowered my free hand to the button of my jeans and undid them slowly. I slipped my hand inside and took a firm grasp of my hard, leaking cock. I watched Mulder as he viciously pumped in and out of the helpless kid underneath him and started to stroke my cock in rhythm with his movements. I tightened my grip and squeezed as I sensed Mulder growing closer and closer to orgasm. Soon Mulder's body shook and he screamed out as he climaxed at the same time I did. I had to bite down on my lip to stop from screaming his name. I wiped my hand off on my jeans and watched him as he leaned forward and stroked Michael's hair, murmuring something. I listened carefully and realized he was saying my name.
"Alex, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't leave me."
The kid was sobbing as he lay under him. What the hell was his problem? Wimp.
"My name's not Alex, you sick son of a bitch!" Michael struggled to free himself, but Mulder wasn't letting up. He just kept his eyes closed and started moving his hips against the kid's ass. He was still saying my name.
I felt myself getting hard again despite my recent orgasm. Hearing him say my name like that and seeing the way he was gently touching Michael, I wanted him so badly. I didn't give a shit about why I'd left him. Tonight he'd shown me that he was just as bad as I was. We were two sides of the same coin. I'd watched him rape a stranger and we'd both gotten off on it. I opened the door.
Michael saw me first. "God, no. Please! Just let me go! I won't tell anyone what he did."
Mulder opened his eyes and looked at the man beneath him, a puzzled expression on his face. He followed the kid's gaze until he saw me standing there, pants open, gun still in hand.
"Alex?" He sat up quickly.
I smiled, then aimed the gun at Michael and pulled the trigger. The hollow point made short work of his head.
Mulder jumped off the bed in shock. "What the hell did you do that for?" He reached down and put a hand on Michael's back. "I wasn't finished with him."
I shrugged. "I didn't want to take the chance that he'd talk. You've got your reputation to think about."
"Um, and you killing him *in* my apartment will help me how, exactly? What the fuck am I supposed to do about the body?"
That's what I loved about Fox. No one knew that he had a darker side than they could ever imagine. I could shoot a man in his apartment and he wouldn't be worried about what I'd done because of any moral standing. He just wanted to know what I'd do with the body.
"I'll take care of it." I looked at the blood and bits of brain and bone which had splattered all over his bed and part of the wall. "You should clean up." I said, pointing to a smear of blood on his arm.
He ignored what I said and instead stepped toward me, putting his arms around me. "Are you back for good?" He bent his head and slowly licked the side of my neck.
I sighed and put a hand on the back of his head, stroking his hair. I loved how soft it felt under my fingers. "Fox, I cannot stay here with you. There were some men at my apartment tonight. That's why I ended up coming here. I needed someplace to hide." I spoke quickly, afraid that I wouldn't get the cleanup finished if I let him distract me.
He looked at me. "That's the only reason?" Smiling, he moved his hand down to cup my ass and gave it a hard squeeze.
"Mmm, yeah. That's all. I had no desire to be around anything to do with you. I didn't want to smell you or feel you around me. I didn't need to just be in the same room with your things." I don't know why I felt the sudden need to ramble on about the way I felt about him. It was so unlike me and I was starting to get worried. I'd been too quick to let my guard down the last time we were together and I didn't want to make the same mistake again. As much as I loved him, he couldn't know the extent to which I'd go to have him and keep him safe.
"You---you wanted to be near me?" He sounded surprised and so vulnerable. I could almost forget this was the same man who until recently treated me without regard and who acted as if he didn't want anything to do with me.
"Yeah, but don't get too excited. Every once in a while I like to go someplace familiar. Doesn't mean that much."
The look in his eyes told me I'd hurt him and it felt like a punch in the gut. I didn't have time for that now. I had a body to clean up.
"Look," I removed myself from his embrace, "let me take care of your guest and then I'll be back." I turned to go when I felt him grab my arm and pull me to him again.
"Let me help you. I want to know what you do when you have to take care of things like this." His eyes were suddenly glazed over with excitement. I wondered if he was going to get off on the more sinister aspects of my life. My cock started to throb with the unspoken promise of hot sex in some alley next to a dumpster containing a dead body.....a body that had been put there by me and my lover...
"I don't know if I should compromise you like that. The less you know, the better."
A smile crept across his face and settled in. "Alex, my love, I just saw you shoot a man in the head at close range for no apparent reason. I know everything." He started kissing my neck. "Now, will you let me help you to get rid of him?" His hand slid down to rub the front of my jeans. I moved into his touch.
"Fox, you're an agent for the United States government. You're risking your job."
I gasped as he bit my neck. "Fuck my job." He grabbed my hardening cock and started to squeeze it. "Let's fuck."
Not one to pass up a golden opportunity, I started kissing him, thrusting my tongue into his receptive mouth. I could taste his arousal and excitement at what was transpiring and wondered if I should be concerned. I immediately dismissed that thought when he started sucking my tongue. Goddamn, if he wasn't the most distracting man I'd ever met. I moved my hand down and took hold of his dick, squeezing gently. He broke our kiss.
"Not here, " he whispered.
"Couch?" I asked, feeling a little lightheaded.
He shook his head and looked at his bed.
"What the fuck---"
He covered my mouth with his hand. "Come on, Alex. Let's fuck next to the guy you just killed. I've done it on a grave before, but never anything like this."
I must have looked horrified because he immediately backed off.
"Fox, what's wrong with you?"
"I hate my job. I hate my life. I want something to make me forget everything. I want you to be with me forever. I want to fuck your brains out next to a dead man." He laughed. "I'm a sick fucker."
I thought about what had just been running through my head. I smiled when I realized that he was basically saying the same thing I'd been thinking. We were so much more alike than I think either of us knew.
"No, you're not." I stroked the side of his face. "Let's get his body out of here and then we'll see what happens."
He helped me to wrap the kid and all the blood soaked bed clothes in a comforter. Then we wiped down the wall and cleaned up any remaining blood. He'd probably have to buy a new mattress. I guess I could pay for it since it was my fault. After making sure that the apartment was clean, we took everything downstairs and put the bundle in his car. At this time of night, the few people on the streets were too drunk to notice two men carting a body shaped lump across the street and into the trunk of a car. I loved big cities.
Mulder drove us to a remote area of the city where people who valued their lives didn't go after dark. It was my kind of place. I was one of the reasons people didn't want to go there. I was what came out when the sun went down.
We drove into an alley and found a dumpster. We unloaded the body and with an easy heave ho, the problem was solved. To make sure there wouldn't be any trace evidence left behind, I doused the body with gasoline. I'd light it up after Fox and I had our fun.
I turned to him. "Gee, Mulder, will you still respect me in the morning?"
"Oh, yeah," he grinned. "I love you, Alex. And I'll love you even more if we do something to make me remember this night."
"Oh, the fact that you're an accessory to first degree murder isn't memorable enough?"
"Shut up." His voice was playful but his eyes were all business. The darkness swirling around them almost scared me. I'd never loved anyone as much as I loved him at that very moment. He shoved my back against the dirty wall of the alley and his hand slid down, stroking my already hard dick. I'd dreamt of his touch ever since I'd left him and as he held me, I knew I belonged with him.
He put a finger to my lips then got on his knees and gently nuzzled my erection. "Don't ever leave me again." The sound of his voice and the softness of his lips as they softly kissed the head, made me surrender.
"I love you so much right now, Fox." I stroked his hair and he went down on me completely. I groaned and started to move my hips, my dick sliding in and out of his hot, wet mouth. God, the way my body reacted to him was amazing. He moved his hands around to my ass, holding on as I continued to fuck his mouth. The feel of his tongue as it flicked across the underside of my cock made everything that had happened tonight worth it. I already felt my orgasm building and threatening to end this before I could do what I wanted to him. As if reading my mind, he released me from his mouth and looked up at me. He ran his hands up and down my thighs and stood up slowly.
"Fuck me, Alex." He slid his tongue over my bottom lip and teeth as he spoke.
I reached down and undid his jeans, taking out his rock hard cock. "You've been a bad boy tonight," I whispered. "At least I've never raped anyone before."
He smiled. "Yeah, just murder for you, huh?"
"Uh huh. Now face the wall."
He moved quickly. I yanked his jeans down and reached a hand around to grab his dick. I covered my fingers with the come leaking from the head, then spread the cheeks of his ass, pushing my finger into his hot, tight opening. "How do you want it?" I asked, moving my finger around inside his heat.
"Any way you want to give it to me. Just do it."
I couldn't wait a minute longer and plunged into him the same way he had the poor bastard who was now so much garbage.
"Aaahh.....Alex!" He cried out, but it wasn't in pain. I pulled out slowly then thrust back into him. He started begging me to fuck him faster and soon I was pumping so hard I was afraid I'd fuck him right through the wall.
"You like it rough, don't you, Fox?" I could barely speak as I my cock moved in and out of his tight ass. He nodded and I felt his muscles clenching around my cock. "I missed fucking you." I buried my face in his hair as I felt an orgasm shoot through his body.
"Alex! Fuck....I love you....."
"Shit....I can't.....Fox!" My cock pumped into him one more time before my climax ripped through me like a knife. My body convulsed as I shot my come deep inside him. I pulled out of him and held him closer against me.
"I love you, Fox." I kissed his sweaty neck, biting him gently.
He moved his hand around to grab the back of my neck and push my mouth and teeth harder against his neck. "Why did you leave me?"
My heart sank at the pitiful sound of his voice. "I told you why in my note."
"That would never happen. I would never look at you and regret what I'd done."
"I know that now." I turned him around. "I finally know that you could never judge me for being who I am."
He put his hands on my face. "But will you judge me?"
"Never." I put my hands on his hips and he pulled my head toward him for a kiss. Our lips had barely touched when I heard sirens in the distance. "We should get going." He nodded.
"So," he said, refastening his jeans and adjusting himself, "what does this mean?"
I frowned at him as I zipped up. "Hmm, I guess you're stuck with me. You make a hell of an accomplice, you know that?"
"You have no idea. Now," he said, looking at the dumpster, "where are your matches?"
I dug through my jacket pocket and handed him a Strike Anywhere. He walked over to the dumpster, lit the match off his zipper, then calmly tossed it onto the gasoline soaked bedclothes. With a whoosh, the kid's body was soon engulfed in flames. I wasn't too worried about the fire being called in. Around here, no one gave a shit about anything that happened outside their homes, so it would have a good long time to burn.
"You ready to go home?" Fox's voice interrupted my thoughts.
I nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."
We got into the car and he turned the key to start the engine. Before he put the car in gear, I took his hand and brought it to my lips. Staring at him, I kissed the back of his hand then placed it back on the gearshift. His face lit up and I knew I'd done the right thing.