June 1999

Disclaimer: It's so pointless to beg. The following characters are on loan from what's his face and those other beings over at FOX.

Rating/Pairing: NC-17 for some wee m/m, M/K

Spoilers: Biogenesis

Summary: Mulder's locked up and chatting.

Notes: I wasn't going to post this but Sue convinced me to. Thanks for the title and the encouragement, lady! :)

Feedback: Yup. Good or bad, it's much appreciated Luvnick62@aol.com

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PARA/noia

by Frankie

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[AgtK] Hey baby, it's me.
[FMulder] It's about time you came online. Do you have any idea how worried
I've been about you?
[AgtK] I'm sorry. It's been really chaotic here. I'm not sure how much
longer I'm going to be at this particular location. How are you doing?
[FMulder] I'm better. I just wish I knew what was wrong with me. I can't
understand what's happening. I wish you were here.
[AgtK] I know, babe. I wish I could be there too. You realize it's not safe
for me to be with you, don't you? I'm still a wanted man.
[FMulder] Of course you're wanted. I want you. Here. In my bed, next to me.
[AgtK] *sigh* Please don't make this harder on me than it has to be.
[FMulder] Don't you think this is hard on me too? Why should I be the only
one who suffers?
[AgtK] That's a great attitude, baby. So our relationship is all about how
much we should both suffer?
[FMulder] Shut up. You know that's not what I'm saying.
[AgtK] Maybe I don't know what you're saying.
[FMulder] I love you. I miss you. I hate the fact that you can't be with me
when I want you here.
[AgtK] How are they treating you?
[FMulder] I think they think I'm crazy or something. Doctors come in to see
me, take a lot of notes about what I say, then leave. At least they let me
have this computer.
[AgtK] Thank god. I don't know what I'd do if we couldn't talk. It sounds
like they trust you not to do anything with it to harm yourself.
[FMulder] When I came out of my trance or whatever it was, I was able to
explain to them that this could help me record my thoughts.
[AgtK] They bought that?
[FMulder] I'm talking to you, aren't I? I also do plan on writing them some
things to help convince them that I don't need to be locked up like this.
[AgtK] They're doing it for your own good, Fox.
[FMulder] It doesn't feel like it. I'm not crazy.
[AgtK] Of course you're not. Are they saying you are?
[FMulder] No, but I can tell that's what they're telling each other. It's
all part of a plan to make me crazy, you know.
[AgtK] Fox...
[FMulder] I'm really scared, Alex.
[AgtK] I know you are. I'm so sorry.
[AgtK] How did you end up in there, baby?
[FMulder] I don't know. Honestly, I only remember being overcome by an
unspeakable pain in my head and then I was here.
[AgtK] Babe, that worries me. Have you had anymore episodes since you've
been in there?
[FMulder] No, not one. For some reason, that's not enough for them to let me
out. I guess I was being pretty violent at one point.
[AgtK] God. I need to see you.
[FMulder] They won't let you in here. I don't want you to take that chance
anyway. I can survive in here on my own.
[AgtK] Does Scully see you?
[FMulder] I don't know. There are cameras in this room so she might be
watching me from some kind of security room, but she hasn't been in here to
see me.
[AgtK] Some friend she turned out to be, huh? I'm so sorry. I really want
to get in there to see you.
[FMulder] Please don't say that. The more you do, the more I'm going to want
you here and I know it's not safe for you. And please stop telling me how
sorry you are.
[AgtK] I'm so-- Fox, you do understand why I didn't help you, don't you?
[FMulder] No, I don't actually. Why did you just pass over me like that?
How could you leave me there in pain?
[AgtK] I had things I needed to attend to. I made sure you got help, baby.
You did, right?
[FMulder] Yeah, I did.
[AgtK] Okay then.
[FMulder] But you still left me lying there. You didn't even see if I was
okay.
[AgtK] I couldn't! There wasn't any time. Just trust me on this.
[FMulder] Why should I?
[AgtK] Fox, if you want to fight, I'm leaving.
[FMulder] No! Please don't leave yet. I'm really confused. I love you.
[AgtK] *sigh* I know you are. I love you too, but please let it rest.
[FMulder] Okay. Alex?
[AgtK] Yeah?
[FMulder] I miss you.
[AgtK] I know. Me too.
[FMulder] I miss holding you.
[AgtK] Me too.
[FMulder] I miss kissing you.
[AgtK] Me too.
[FMulder] Alex, do you think you could help me out here?
[AgtK] How's that, babe?
[FMulder] Could you say something besides "me too"? Don't you know what I
want to do?
[AgtK] I know exactly what you're doing and I can't do it, Fox.
[FMulder] Why not? I thought you loved me.
[AgtK] I do, but if they're watching you, I don't think you should be having
cyber sex.
[FMulder] I don't care what they think about me, Alex. They're already
convinced I'm crazy. How much more damage could it do for me to have some
fun with my lover, hmm?
[AgtK] You make a good point. Doesn't sound to me like you're crazy.
[FMulder] That's the first time I've smiled since they locked me up.
[AgtK] I'm glad. I want to make you happy.
[FMulder] Tell me what you'd do if you were here.
[AgtK] I'd put my arms around you and make you feel safe.
[FMulder] You're really warm. I bury my face in your neck and inhale deeply.
You smell so good.
[AgtK] I feel your breath against my skin and it's making me hard. You
always have this effect on me. Look at me, Fox. I want to kiss you.
[FMulder] I raise my head and look into your eyes. I trust you, Alex. I
love you.
[AgtK] I lower my head and kiss you, softly at first, then harder. You taste
like desperation and fear and I want to change all that.
[FMulder] I reach my hand down and grab your cock through your jeans. You're
already so hard.
[AgtK] I want you to suck it, Fox. Suck it just like your father liked to.
[FMulder] What? Alex?
[AgtK] You know that's what he used to do. He couldn't get enough of it.
[FMulder] Why are you saying this?
[AgtK] Like father, like son, right, baby? I want you to suck my cock then
I'm going to put a bullet in your head.
[FMulder] Don't do this Alex.
[AgtK] Don't do what? He loved to take it up the ass too. Bet you didn't
know that about dear old Dad.
[FMulder] Stop it! I don't know why you're doing
[AgtK] I can't stop it, Fox. It's the truth. You want the truth, right?
[FMulder] this! STOP IT!!
[AgtK] Fuck you, Fox! You're a fucking lunatic!! Thank god they finally
locked you up.
[FMulder] Shut the fuck up!!
[AgtK] You're insane! And damn stupid too. Ask anyone.
[FMulder] SHUT UP!! FUCK YOU!!
[AgtK] Too late, baby. Everyone's beaten you to it. *g* Have fun in there.
Hope you rot.
[FMulder] I don't know who you are.
[AgtK] Sure you do. While you're in there I'll be getting fucked by Skinner.
We laugh about you behind your back, you know.
[FMulder] No, he wouldn't do that.
[AgtK] He does. So does Scully. She loves my dick too, Fox.
[FMulder] No, not Scully. Not Scully. She's my friend.
[AgtK] Then why is she with me right now? She's laughing at you. We all
are. Fucking psychotic Mulder, finally went over the edge. It was just a
matter of time, wasn't it?
[FMulder] I don't believe you.
[AgtK] I don't care. I'm not the one in the nuthouse. Look around you,
sweetheart. That's your future. That's it for you.
[FMulder] NO!
[FMulder] NO!
[FMulder] NO!
[FMulder] NO!
[FMulder] NO!
[FMulder] NO!
[FMulder] NO!

************

Scully watched sadly as her partner erupted from his almost catatonic state into another outburst of profanities and unintelligible shouting.
Moments before, he had been sitting in the corner of his cell, both hands in front of him. The way his fingers had been moving, it looked as if
he'd been miming playing the piano or using a typewriter and she was reminded of all the times she'd seen him in that exact position when he
worked at his computer. As she'd watched the blurry images of him on the small screen, his face had remained expressionless except for the
occasional smile. Now, his features were distorted in a mad grimace as he started pulling at his hair and stumbling around the room.

"Agent Scully, perhaps you should go home. There's not really anything you can do for him at this time." The doctor placed a gentle hand on
her arm.

Scully shook her head and continued to watch her partner succumb to whatever madness had him in its grip.

"I can't leave him like this. Not until we know what's going to happen to him."

The doctor nodded and left Scully alone in the observation room. Placing a hand on the screen and partially covering the image of the partner
she no longer recognized, she began to cry.

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