March 2000

Disclaimers: We just borrowed them for the evening.
Rating: NC-17 for m/m smuttiness
Summary: Mulder and Krycek have a little chat.
Notes: This is chat fluff...not meant to be taken seriously, but to give a little snicker. Hopefully.
Feedback: Frankie



Hit and Run

by Lucy Snowe and Frankie


[HandyMan] Surfing the web on a Friday night? Do you *ever* get out?

[FWMldr] Excuse me?

[HandyMan] All work and no play makes Spooky a dull boy, you know.

[FWMldr] Do I know you?

[HandyMan] Well, certainly not in the Biblical sense, but yeah, you know me.

[FWMldr] Langley?

[HandyMan] Nope. I have much better hair.

[FWMldr] Skinner?

[HandyMan] Such wit! You do need to get out more.

[FWMldr] Okay, I'll bite. Who is this?

[HandyMan] And you're famed for your remarkable intuition and spooky knowledge? I'm disappointed.

[FWMldr] Well, I'm not known for being a fucking psychic, so either you tell me who this is or I sign off.

[FWMldr] Besides, there's only one person I can think of and he wouldn't be harassing me online.

[HandyMan] Tsk, tsk. Such language. Well, I'm bigger than a breadbox, smaller than an alien bounty hunter.

[HandyMan] What, you don't think I have the requisite computer skills? I'm hurt.

[FWMldr] What do you want?

[HandyMan] Well, you still haven't positively identified me.

[FWMldr] I know who you are, you bastard. Wait, why the hell am I still talking to you? Go play your games somewhere else.

[HandyMan] Um, because you have no life, and chatting with me is the most interesting thing you could possibly do right now?

[FWMldr] Fine, Mr. Social Life....why the hell are you online on a Friday night? Did your date cancel?

[HandyMan] Nah, too busy to date right now.

[FWMldr] Of course. How long did it take you to come up with that excuse?

[HandyMan] Hey, no one appreciates how much fighting for world domination, not to mention betraying people left and right, cuts into your social life.

[FWMldr] I'll ask one more time. What do you want?

[HandyMan] Well, that world domination thing, another Swiss bank account, a decent blow job. What do you want Fox?

[FWMldr] Krycek, I really don't care about your personal life. Do you have more information for me or is this just the way you waste your valuable time?

[HandyMan] Oh, don't worry, I'm not wasting time. I've time to kill while I wait for this encryption program to do it's magic.

[FWMldr] What are you talking about?

[HandyMan] Nothing you need to worry about. I cracked the FBI database ages ago.

[FWMldr] Okay, Krycek, as much as this has been a blast, I'm going to have to say goodbye.

[HandyMan] Such a slut for information. Okay, here's some. Aliens are trying to take over the world, and you shouldn't trust that chain-smoking bastard. Happy? Can we chat some more now?

[FWMldr] Are you drunk?

[HandyMan] Nah, it's a weak habit. I'm high on life.

[FWMldr] Then why do you want to chat with me? More importantly, what makes you think I'd want to chat with you?

[HandyMan] I'm bored, this little project of mine is taking longer than I thought, and if nothing else, you're always amusing. And you shouldn't discount my charming wit or obvious sex appeal.

[FWMldr] Hah! Okay, you're barking up the wrong tree, Krycek. They have chat rooms for what you're looking for...and quite a few websites, if the rumors are true...

[HandyMan] Methinks you do protest to much. But can you give me the urls anyway?

[FWMldr] You're a smart guy. Do a search.

[HandyMan] I'd love to know what you think is worthy of recommendation though. You being a connoisseur of such things...

[FWMldr] Well...what are you into?

[HandyMan] Stubborn FBI agents with animal names and pouty lower lips.

[FWMldr] Try Come on, Krycek...even you can't think that would work.

[HandyMan] Ha. Your wit slays me. And, as I've told you before, I do believe in extreme possibilities.

[FWMldr] Well, good, because that would have to be the most extreme thing you've ever believed in.

[HandyMan] You know, I don't think so. I know how you look at me, you can't say the thought's never crossed your mind. And, I could point out a few hard truths about sexual desire masqueraded as violent impulse. But that would be too obvious.

[FWMldr] LOL Wow, you've taken some psych classes at the local community college. Good for you!

[FWMldr] Not to say you're right, of course....but nice try.

[HandyMan] Well, if you can't bear to think I'm your intellectual equal, I could care less. But my educational background was at least true.

[FWMldr] Krycek, I know how intelligent you are....that's why I don't understand what you think you're doing. Your kiss notwithstanding, I think you'd be hard pressed to seduce me...especially online. So, what else are you up to?

[HandyMan] I told you -- I'm hacking into a database you're best not knowing about. And I'm bored. And horny. No need to change the subject.

[FWMldr] Was I changing the subject? I'm sorry. So, you're horny and you thought the best way to relieve this would be to somehow convince me to cyber with you? I have to admire your confidence.

[HandyMan] Confident? Rash? It's a fine line. Indulge me.

[FWMldr] I don't think so. Don't worry, blue balls never killed anyone.

[HandyMan] Well, I'm already working on that -- multi-tasking, you know -- but some additional stimulation from you would be nice.

[FWMldr] about thinking about Scully in a teddy? Does that do anything for you?

[HandyMan] Hmmm. Has potential, but I think I'll save it for another time.

[FWMldr] Really? You'd go for Scully?

[HandyMan] Who wouldn't?

[FWMldr] Well, I wouldn't but that's just because I can't see her that way.

[HandyMan] Your loss. But back to you. I can't stop thinking about your mouth tonight. Sometimes it's your hands, other times, that skimpy Speedo, but it's definitely your mouth tonight.

[FWMldr] Oh really? What's so special about my mouth?

[HandyMan] Fishing, are you? Okay, it's shape -- especially that lower lip.

When you're nervous you lick it, I used to imagine the moisture was my precum, staining it right before I filled you with my cock, sliding down your throat, holding you by the hair and fucking you hard.

[FWMldr] okay...that's a visual...

[HandyMan] Here's another... I'm stroking my cock right now, it's aching it's so hard. I'm circling my palm over the tip, spreading the moisture, pretending it's your mouth wetting it, licking it. When I close my eyes I can see you kneeling in front of me.

[FWMldr] Krycek...I'm not going to do this....

[HandyMan] Stop thinking so much. Go with it. You're on your knees, your mouth almost where I want it, but you're teasing me, long slow swipes of your tongue, glancing kisses, your fingers ghosting over my balls, the crack of my ass...

[HandyMan] Tag, Mulder, you're it.

[FWMldr] Tell me, Krycek, how many nights have you jerked off while fantasizing about me? I'd be flattered if you weren't such a scum-sucking son of a bitch.

[HandyMan] Quite a few, really. I'd say you were in my top ten.

[FWMldr] Is that so? That's pretty sad, really. Can't get any real life people to pay you any attention?

[HandyMan] One night stands do get stale. I'm sure you can appreciate that my line of work doesn't exactly lend itself to attachments. What's your excuse?

[FWMldr] I have no interest in forming attachments. They'll just leave me, anyway. At least my right hand is permanently attached.

[HandyMan] Yes, yes, everyone you love leaves or betrays you, I know the drill. But you being needy and self-pitying doesn't really work with the fantasy I've got going.

[FWMldr] It doesn't? You mean, the idea of me being completely vulnerable and trusting never fits into your fantasies?

[HandyMan] No, I'll leave that kink to the pirhanas you call girlfriends and partners.

[FWMldr] Careful, you sound jealous [HandyMan] Nah, just realistic -- stating the facts, you know. So, why are you still talking to me? I mean considering your frequently expressed lack of interest? I'd hazard a guess, but being the uneducated thug I am, I'm sure I'd be wrong.

[FWMldr] no, please. go right ahead.

[HandyMan] I'd much rather you enlightened me with your delightful, Oxford education. Besides, I'm curious about why *you* think you haven't logged off yet.

[FWMldr] Well, like you said, I have nothing better to do on a Friday night.

It's either be amused by you or look up information on the flesh-eating virus. You're slightly less nauseating, so here I am.

[HandyMan] You sweet flatterer, you.

[FWMldr] I'm known for my charm.

[HandyMan] Well, it's unnecessary. You had me at hello.

[FWMldr] Okay, that made me laugh. Seriously, you don't really expect anything to happen, do you?

[HandyMan] I live in hope.

[FWMldr] so, besides me being on my knees with your cock in my mouth, what else do you hope for?

[HandyMan] World peace?

[FWMldr] really? I was hoping you'd say something about you bent over my desk with my cock up your ass. Oh well. World peace has a certain charm, I suppose.

[HandyMan] You were hoping for that? Progress at last!

[FWMldr] Hey, I'm human. Reading the right words can give me a hard-on like any guy. With that comes fantasies....

[HandyMan] Fantasies? Do tell. I'm intrigued.

[FWMldr] sorry, Krycek. I've said too much. I'll leave the graphic descriptions to you. Besides, I'm not as desperate as you are.

[HandyMan] Not as desperate? I think you're projecting.

[FWMldr] Am I? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the one who started coming on to me because you're horny?

[HandyMan] Okay, I'll concede that much, I suppose. So, just to get the record straight -- you're at least admitting to being a willing audience for my desperate fantasies?

[FWMldr] Why not? I can blame it on boredom and not enough blood to the brain.

[HandyMan] Anything as long as you don't admit that you want to hear this, I suppose?

[FWMldr] You got it in one.

[HandyMan] I like a man who can be honest about his own delusions. Charming, really.

[FWMldr] And charming you is high on my list of priorities, Krycek.

[HandyMan] I'm flattered. Well, going back to your comment about the desk...

It's not really your cock up my ass that I'm fantasizing about right now.

Have you ever been fucked, Fox? I like to imagine you haven't. Maybe you've indulged in a few secret explorations of your own, sweaty nights on your couch, frantically stroking your cock with one hand while you use the other to send greedy fingers exploring, searching for that one spot, the one that makes you tremble and buck, sending semen shooting all over your hand.

[FWMldr] Hmmm....don't tell me, you want to go where no man has gone before....

[HandyMan] Sure, why not? It's my fantasy -- you're just the bored voyeur.

[FWMldr] right....right.... okay, so what's your set up?

[HandyMan] Well, let's see... I'll go back to where I'm fucking your face.

I'm lost in your mouth, and I know I'm holding your hair too tightly, slamming too hard into you, but I'm almost to far gone to care. One of my thrusts is too much for you, and I'm brought back to reality when I feel, then hear, you gag. I pull out and stare down at you as you shudder and cough. I almost feel a little bad about it, but then I look down and see how hard you are, how your neglected cock is straining upwards, begging for attention.

[FWMldr] know...if you ever made me gag...I'd have to kick your ass...

[HandyMan] Would you? I'd like to test that sometime.

[FWMldr] Right.

[HandyMan] Well, at least that's not an outright no. Anyway, it's my fantasy, so, you're still coughing a bit, but haven't kicked my ass. I pull you up, and push you back onto your couch (we're in your apartment for this one, I think). I run a hand lightly along your cock and you moan, pushing upward, seeking more. I'm in a generous mood, so I bend over you and take your cock deep, sucking and licking, showing you exactly how it's done.

[FWMldr] oh god....

[FWMldr] sorry, that slipped

[HandyMan] No apologies necessary. So, let's see. I'm still sucking you, but it's just a distraction for you really. I begin caressing your balls with my hand, before stroking behind them, moving carefully upwards. My finger glances against the puckered opening and you buck up into my mouth. (Note, however, that I still don't gag.) On the crest of your moan, I shove the finger inside of you and revel in the feeling of you opening up, taut muscles rippling and grasping my finger as I insinuate a second inside you.

[FWMldr] I push against your finger, only aware of the heat of your mouth on my cock and the pressure of you pushing your finger inside me...I don't know

what feels better....

[FWMldr] Um, that slipped too [HandyMan] You're cracking... at last! Okay, with two fingers inside you now, I angle up and push. You shout and push yourself even further down my throat. I'm suddenly aware of how violently your thighs are trembling, how close to the edge you are. I pull my mouth away and you whimper at the loss, your cock straining helplessly into the air.

[FWMldr] don't get too cocky...I'm taking pity on you. I want to feel your mouth on me again, but when I look in your eyes, I can tell you have something else in mind....

[HandyMan] Ah! The infamous Spooky intuition -- right as usual. My other hand reaches for the surface of the coffee table and scrambles for a bottle of lube (yes, in my fantasies, such necessities are always readily available). Flipping open the cap, I carefully coat my cock with it, my fingers in your ass giving a few last lingering strokes. Pulling them out, I begin pushing my cock against your open, fluttering hole.

[FWMldr] oh's almost too much and I resist at first...but as I adjust, it starts to feel so body relaxes and I hear myself groan as you slide into me...

[HandyMan] I've got such tight rein on myself, holding back, waiting for you to adjust, that it's almost become painful. When I feel you begin to relax, I let out a sigh of relief that turns into a moan. Grabbing your hips, I pull your further onto my lap and begin pounding, wanting, needing, to get deeper, further inside you.

[FWMldr] I've never felt anything like this before...I want more of you inside me and I meet each thrust, wanting as much of you as possible.. My cock is aching and I move my hand down to grasp it.

[HandyMan] Oh good, you've got things in hand then -- which is fortunate, because I've got to go. My encryption program came through, and I'm in.

Have a good night, Foxy. I enjoyed it.