"Buzz Me" (1/1)
by "Lil' Sailor"
PG-13, M/K, sexual innuendo
Um, go see The Movie, Tunguska, War of the Coprophages, remember
Alex trapped in the silo, and recall poor young Pendrell
Alex sighed, realizing that the early morning sunlight bathing
his face was because his lover hadn't closed the blinds properly
the night before.
They were still open; Mrs. Wisneusky liked to watch.
He rose quietly and padded off into the next room, sidestepping
that board on the floor in Mulder's apartment he knew squeaked.
Odd, wasn't it, that he knew that. But all the time he spent here
lately was becoming...familiar.
Smiling to himself, he entered the small kitchen, still able to
see the sleeping form of Fox Mulder on the leather couch. God,
what a night. He was going to have to hose down those cushions
Mmmm...last night. He reached down to grip the round, hard mass
in front of him. He stroked it, feeling its slightly hard outside
as well as the soft, yielding inside. Alex knew what Fox wanted
when he first woke up, and the thought made him tighten his grip.
He twisted his wrist slightly, causing his fingernails to gouge
into flesh. Yes, this is exactly what he liked. More twisting
caused liquid to splash onto the counter.
His eyes were closed now, as he continued squeezing and pushing.
Fox walked into the kitchen, rubbing sleepy eyes.
"You always know just how I like it," he cooed.
Alex tossed the orange rind as he placed the glass of freshly-squeezed
orange juice down on the counter, and slid it over to Mulder.
"Yep, freshly squeezed."
Mulder downed the juice in one gulp, and returned to the living
room. Alex followed, and found him sitting on the floor. Mulder
motioned to the couch.
"Yechh," he grimaced.
"I'm not washing it this time," Alex stated.
"Why not? You're the one that always has to..."
"Well, yeah, but I seem to recall you enjoying all those
"Actually, I'm getting kind of bored, Alex."
"I'm getting bored," Mulder sighed. "Same old,
same old. I want something new."
"Like what?" he asked, perplexed. "Aren't you satisfied?"
"I've had other experiences," Fox said simply.
"What?!! You said I was your first!"
"Who?" he demanded.
"You don't know him," Fox said, "he's dead now,
"What was so great about him?" Alex asked.
"Lots of things...it wasn't just the sex. I worked with him...he
had this crush on Scully, which made our sex much hotter."
"I don't understand."
"He used to make me pretend I was Scully..."
"And then we'd snuggle afterwards. *We* don't snuggle, Alex."
"Yeah, and there was always lots of smooching. We don't smooch,
either. It's just wham, bam, thank you, Mulder."
"Listen, I gave up a lot to be with you, Mulder, and now
all of the sudden I'm not good enough?" Alex sounded upset.
"What could you possibly have given up?"
"Do you think I would stay with that Montana right-wing extremist
group that rescued me from the silo for no reason? You may not
know it, Mulder, but there are a *lot* of homosexual right-wing
extremist groups. The sex was great."
"No, and if they hadn't been shipping nuclear devices and
what not, you never would have found me again. That FBI raid on
the warehouse was pure luck. I was perfectly satisfied where I
was. *More* than satisfied. I *ruled* those boys. I had any of
them I wanted...I was Cock of the Walk."
"In more ways than one, I can imagine."
"Your imagination isn't that sophisticated, believe me."
"C'mon, Alex. Are you saying you gave up a whole *herd* of
gay, Montana white boys to come back to me?"
"Well," said Mulder, "that was then, This is now.
I'm just ready to move on."
"Who would want you?"
"What do you mean? Plenty of guys would take me in a second."
"Oh, c'mon, Fox. I've seen you naked. You're no club-tailed
"Hey!! Don't use our horny codeword like that!"
"That is *such* a stupid codeword, anyway. How did you ever
come up with "Buzz me like a club-tailed dragonfly'?"
"I thought it was original," he pouted.
"Whatever," Alex sighed. "I have no idea what I
ever saw in you in the first place. I should've guessed with that
"The water was cold," he retorted.
"Yeah, well, if you do want something new, where would you
go? Skinner? You know what I told you about those annoying grunts
Mulder nodded his head.
"The Lone Gunmen? Four's a crowd, Mulder, and Langly would
claw your eyes out if you even *looked* at John. And don't even
tell me you'd lower yourself to have sex with *Scully* for Chrissakes."
"I never thought about it," he said.
"Liar," Alex hissed. "Maybe you thought about it
before you met me, but I know you could never stoop to *hetero*
sex now. God! And that Danny guy you always talk to is straight.
So where would you find pleasure? You know I'm better than anything
you could ever see on your gay porno tapes."
"I guess," Fox admitted.
"You guess? Look at this!" Alex pulled his boxer shorts
down to his thighs. "You'll have nothing better, sweetie,
*believe* me. And I've been with the entire roster of the Montana
National Freedom Fighters!"
Fox looked up at him and grinned, licking his lips. Then he looked
down at the floor again.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I think I may be working
too much or something..."
"I know," Alex said, kicking away his boxers and sitting
down next to him on the floor. "I remember what you said
about the Ice Queen trying to kiss you."
"Can you believe it? She thinks I'm actually attracted to
her. Is she blind?"
"Well, those puppy-dog eyes of yours get *me* every time."
"Yeah! And it always turned me on whenever you slapped me
"That FBI raid on the warehouse was better in more ways than
one. You have no idea how hard it was to keep from jumping on
you the minute I knew it was you in that truck. But, of course,
Scully was there..." he growled.
"I know...the sight of you in black SWAT gear...all tight
and constricting...that hard helmet..." Alex purred back
in his ear.
"Alex, I think I may have overreacted. I'm sorry. Forgive
"How can I ignore those eyes, baby?"
"But do you promise we can snuggle more often?"
"Of course we can snuggle! And there will be plenty of smooching,
too. Just get those silly thoughts out of that Oxford-educated
brain of yours," Alex's eyebrows rose, "and Buzz me
like a club-tailed dragonfly."
"Mmmm..." Fox hummed, rolling back onto the sticky leather
couch, "it's a good thing we didn't wash up after all..."