I don't own them. TenThirteen Productions does. No copyright infringement intended.

 

Rating: NC17 for M/M sex

 

Summary: Mulder finds out about Krycek's and Scully's interlude in his apartment.

 

Uncertain Allies II - Memory

 

by Rat Lover (ratlover@imadethis.org)

 

* * * * * * *

 

The tall man walked into his accomadations, a cheap motel room in the middle of nowhere. He couldn't seem to make himself think of this place as home, temporary or otherwise. But then there really wasn't any place he thought of as home. Not his apartment, that was a place to crash when he wasn't working. Not where he grew up, where he lost his sister. Not the summer home, shrouded with so many sad memories.

 

Mulder sighed and dropped down on the bed. Things had been getting too hot to handle. Scully had been right in one sense. He had been set up to believe the lie. This 'alien' he was ready to expose to the public had been a hoax. Deep in his heart he knew it. But Scully also had been set up to believe the lie. Just because this turned out to be a hoax did not mean that all the cases he researched were.

 

He had almost believed the lie, until a strange thought had crossed his mind. What if he was being set up to be eliminated? Perhaps he was too close to a truth that someone did not want him to have. 'Kritchgau,' who came in looking like himself and then morphed into the long lost twin brother Mulder never had, returned later to his apartment, and Mulder had been waiting, with the strange weapon he had found in the Mulder summer home clenched in his fist. A stab to the base of the skull, and a bullet to the temple angled down to hide the first wound completed Mulder's hoax, the lie he wanted the Cigarette Smoking Man to believe. This 'alien' seemed to tend more towards human characteristics, and bled red instead of green, a great piece of luck as far as Mulder was concerned.

 

On the ubiquitous dresser that all motels seemed to have, Mulder spotted the video tape. He picked it up, turning it over in his fingers. <The Lone Gunmen, dependable as usual.> It was common knowledge that Mulder's apartment was bugged, but some people would be surprised to find out that he had placed half the bugs there himself. There was at least one hidden camera in every room, covering most of the floor space. It was a way he could keep tabs on exactly who was breaking into his apartment.

 

Mulder wondered who was on the tape this time. The Gunmen had promised to monitor his equipment, after arranging for him to disappear for a while. The last tape had been of Scully discovering 'his' body. That had been a knife to the gut. <I'll make it up to her,> he promised himself. But now he couldn't let her know that he was safe and sound. Her belief in his lie was essential to his plan. But the pain in her "Yes, that's him," and the look in her eyes had torn him apart. <I am a son of a bitch.>

 

He placed the tape in the VCR he had rented and pressed play. The first scene was a shot of his front door from inside the apartment, taken by the camera hidden in the wall clock. The door inched open and an all too familiar face poked out from behind it, casing the place. <Krycek!> Mulder growled mentally, his hands balling into fists. He studied his former partner and lover, wondering what document or bit of evidence Krycek had come to retrieve. But oddly enough, Krycek seemed uninterested in the paperwork that was strewn about. He walked to the couch, stopping short of the spot where 'Mulder' died. He stood there for several minutes, giving Mulder a chance to study him. Krycek looked every bit as fit as he had in Tunguska, but had a tired, dirty, hang dog look. His leather jacket was draped over his shoulder, threatening to spill to the floor at any moment. But it was Krycek's pale worn face that Mulder was drawn to. Krycek stood there breathing heavily, shaking in his effort to keep himself from crying. Mulder was stunned to see such different from the smart ass look he was used to seeing on his ex-lover when dealing with him recently. <It's an act,> Mulder thought. <Krycek thinks I'm alive. He knows that the apartments bugged. This is just some slick game he's playing to get me to come out of hiding.> But in the back of his mind, he couldn't get over how beautiful Krycek looked in his sorrow.

 

He had been attracted to Krycek from the moment Mulder had seen him in that ridiculously fitting suit, just as he had been attracted to Scully. But she hadn't responded to his double entendres. Krycek had made them before he even had even know him a day. But it would be too dangerous to start a homosexual relationship under the Bureau's collective nose, let alone the Consortium. There had been an air of innocence about Krycek, a naivete that Mulder had long ago shed and he found appealing. But time had changed both men, hardening them. Mulder sometimes wondered if Krycek ever mourned the death of what might have been. <I doubt the rat bastard wouldn't recognize an honest emotion even if it bit him on the ass.>

 

The door opened a second time. A resigned look crossed Krycek's face, expecting an assassin's bullet to enter his back. Then the cocky mask fell back into place. Mulder tore his eyes away from Krycek to look at who had stepped into the room. He found himself staring at Scully, who had come in with gun drawn and trained on Krycek. <Shoot him!> Mulder mentally screamed.

 

But Scully didn't fire. She stood there with a bead drawn on Krycek and said something. Mulder cursed the fact that he hadn't gotten the sound fixed on his bug, having been more concerned with who was in the apartment than the conversations going on in it. He jabbed violently at the remote's volume key, cranking it up all the way. It didn't help much. Mulder could still only hear faint fragments of the conversation - "...last respects...." "...no respect...undiscovered...." "...wrong...expose them."

 

Mulder gasped as the leather jacket fell away from Krycek's body. He clenched his left hand unconsciously, a wave of pity and tenderness washing over him. <Oh, Alex! What did they do to you?> Mulder had come dangerously close to losing his left arm while in Tunguska. It had taken some fast talking to keep the gulag's truck driver from performing the impromptu amputation. But obviously Krycek hadn't been so lucky. Mulder shook his head, disgusted with himself. <This man was involved with my partner's abduction and the killing of her sister and killed my father.> But all Mulder wanted to do was gather Krycek in his arms, and comfort him, the same way he had been comforted by Krycek.

 

Having an photographic memory had a price. Almost without volition, he thought back to the night after Scully had disappeared. Skinner had ordered him to go home and get some rest, and not bother to come into work the next day. Mulder had complied with the letter of the law, but not the spirit. Mulder planned to hit the streets after plotting some strategy. He had sources that weren't connected with the FBI after all. He had come home, changed clothes, and sat down. That is as far as he made it before he was overwhelmed with exhaustion and grief. He could only think one thought.

 

<I failed her. Just like I failed Samantha.>

 

Mulder sat there, repeating that thought. The semi-darkness of twilight gave way to darkness and still Mulder sat unmoving. After several hours of meditating on his newly found mantra, he heard the knock on the door, but ignored it. "I know you're in there, Mulder. You're car's on the street. I'm not going away until I know you're okay." Mulder still made no move. "You're leaving me no choice, Mulder. I will stand out here all night and yell at the top of my lungs pretending to be your jilted lover until you open the door."

 

Hazel eyes shut in exasperation. Mulder wanted to be left alone in his misery. And why did Krycek exacerbate his pain by always seeming to make references to a relationship that never could be? "Key's on the frame, Alex."

 

Krycek opened the door. "You're paranoid about people breaking into your apartment and keep a key on the frame?"

 

"If they want in bad enough, they'll get in," Mulder said. "You've seen I'm okay. Now leave."

 

"No such luck, Mulder. Skinner asked me to make sure you do nothing foolish." Krycek walked over to the refrigerator, opening the door. "You're always watching the skies to discover new life forms. Ever thing about looking in your fridge? Geez, Mulder, when was the last time you cleaned it out?"

 

"Maid's century off," was the curt reply. "Why the hell are you here, Alex? Why do you care?"

 

Krycek looked back at Mulder, eyes inscrutable. "I'm your partner."

 

"You may not want the job, given how most of my partners end up." The words were delivered without heat, Mulder being too heartsick to put any bite into his voice. "Go the hell home."

 

Krycek shook his head. "Uh-uh. My orders are to take care of you Mulder. And I always obey orders." He sat down on the couch next to his partner. "Now tell me what's wrong."

 

Mulder stared at his lap. So far Krycek had been trustworthy, and shown more inclination to believe him than any of his other partners or coworkers. "I know who took Scully and why."

 

Krycek's jaw dropped. "W-who? Why?"

 

Mulder looked up into Krycek's eyes with an earnestness that scared the young man. "My sister was taken from me when I was twelve. I have reason to believe that forces not of this world were involved. I have been searching for Samantha ever since then and the X-Files seemed to be a natural way to find her." Mulder paused, unable to continue.

 

Krycek filled in the rest of the story. "And the forces that be don't want you uncovering certain facts. So they took Scully, probably to remind you of Samantha and drive you over the edge." Krycek laid a hand on Mulder's shoulder, eyes filled with concern. "Don't let them break you, Mulder. Don't let them win." Mulder slowly turned stared at Krycek, hazel eyes transfixing green. Krycek reached out and pushed an unruly lock of Mulder's hair off his forehead. "It's going to be okay," Krycek said softly.

 

The stress of the day had crumbled the last of Mulder's inhibitions. With the swiftness of a diving hawk, Mulder dove for Krycek's mouth. Horrified, he pulled away after a split second's contact with Krycek's hot, silky lips. <Oh shit! I did not just do that!> Mulder had been discrete before and this was the first time he had slipped, betraying how much he was attracted to the man before him. But before he could begin to voice an apology, Krycek's mouth had engulfed Mulder's, his tongue demanding entrance. The contact wiped his mind clean of his worries about Scully. The darker haired man wrapped his arms around Mulder and straddled his lap, pressing groins together. Mulder's whimper was answered with one of Krycek's moan.

 

Mulder eventually pulled away from their kiss to trail his lips down Krycek's neck. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this?"

 

Mulder felt Krycek's Adam's apple bob against his chin as he answered. "I've wanted it since I first met you. When I saw you in that Speedo of yours, I was ready to jump your bones then and there." His hands stroked down to Mulder's groin, tracing around the growing bulge in his sweats. Mulder arched beneath him like a cat who was being petted. "The question is how much do you want?" Krycek whispered in Mulder's ear.

 

"All of it, Alex." Mulder pulled back to look into Krycek's grass green eyes. His fingers began to fumble at Krycek's shirt buttons. "All of you."

 

Krycek shivered, unable to believe what Mulder just said. "So I guess my next question is where?" he asked as Mulder finally succeeded at unbuttoning Krycek's shirt.

 

"Contrary to popular belief, I do have a bed," Mulder said with a lop sided smile. "I just don't like to sleep there."

 

"Agent Spooky Mulder sleep in a bed like a normal person? Sounds like and X-File to me."

 

"Fuck you, Krycek."

 

Krycek laughed and stood up. "I hope so, Mulder," he said, tugging Mulder to his feet. "Or the other way around." Mulder wrapped an arm around Krycek's waist and began to grind against the other man's groin. Krycek groaned and bent backwards, intensifying the contact, his loose shirt brushing the floor. Mulder arched over him, nipping at Krycek's collarbones. "At this rate, we won't make it to the bedroom."

 

Mulder pulled himself upright, urging Krycek up also. "If my back is going to go out, I want a more satisfying reason."

 

"Satisfying?" Krycek said. "I'll give you satisfying."

 

The next few moments were a blur, even with a photographic memory. All Mulder was certain of was that somehow they had managed to get to the bed. Krycek had shed his shirt somewhere along the way, and was tugging Mulder's tee shirt over his head. Krycek happily sighed at the sight of Mulder's bare chest. Practically drooling, he dove for one of the nipples that were begging to be nipped.

 

Mulder arched beneath Krycek, moaning. Krycek chuckled and stroked one hand down the flat plane of Mulder's stomach, seeking the juncture of his legs. Just before Krycek's fingers brushed the down there, Mulder pulled away, rolling onto his side. <Shit! What am I doing? I'm being seduced by my partner while Scully's out there in the cold dark, having who knows what done to her.> "I can't do this."

 

Krycek spooned into Mulder's back. "What's wrong, Mulder? Is it that you feel you don't deserve to be happy if she's missing?" Krycek began a gentle massage of the tense shoulders before him. A slight nod was his answer. "She knows how much pain there's been in your life. I think she would want you to be happy." Krycek wasn't exactly sure which 'she' he was talking about, Scully or Samantha.

 

But Mulder seemed to accept that, because he made no protest when Krycek began stroking his chest. Krycek began with slow sweeps, memorizing the play of muscle over Mulder's chest before focusing on his nipples. Mulder groaned and pushed his ass tighter against Krycek's groin.

 

"Easy, baby," Krycek whispered against Mulder's neck. He gently rolled the brown nub between his fingers. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

 

"Yes." Mulder's whispered and husky with need. "Brining yourself off isn't quite the same."

 

"Believe me I know." Krycek's left hand left its relentless teasing to slide down Mulder's torso. "I spent many lonely nights wishing I was with you. Touching myself like this," Krycek's hand encircled Mulder's cock, "wishing you were." The hand began a deliberate pumping motion. "And those all night stakeouts were torture." A wet tongue snaked out to caress Mulder's earlobe. "I wanted to shove you into the back seat and screw you until we both saw stars."

 

Mulder moaned and tossed his head. Krycek grinned and sped up the motions of his hand. "Alex... no. Not... like... this."

 

Krycek's hand immediately stopped stroking him. "I'm sorry, Mulder. I didn't mean to..."

 

Mulder laid a finger on Krycek's velvety lips. "It wasn't that, Alex. I just want you to be deep inside my ass when I come." He smiled when he heard Krycek's breath catch in his throat at the image his words provoked. But Krycek didn't make a move. "You do want to fuck?"

 

Krycek gently stroked along Mulder's hairline. "I'm afraid I'll end up hurting you, Mulder. And I don't want to do that."

 

Mulder pulled Krycek a little closer. "You can't possibly hurt me any more than I already have been." He silenced Krycek's words with a kiss. "Fuck me, Alex. I want to forget. I *need* to forget."

 

Krycek groaned and rolled Mulder onto his belly. "Do you have any lube? Condoms?"

 

"Top left dresser drawer." Krycek kissed behind Mulder's ear. Mulder felt the mattress shift as Krycek backed off the bed. He heard the young man <my lover> rummaging through the dresser.

 

"Got 'em." Krycek bounded back to the bed. Mulder shivered as he heard the rip of foil. Then he felt a slick finger probing his anus and then glide inside. In reflex, Mulder tightened down. "Easy, Mulder," Krycek soothed. The finger began to twist and curl. And when he found what he was searching for, Mulder thought he had died and gone to heaven. Krycek pulled out his single finger and attacked Mulder's prostate with two, rubbing against the gland with every thrust. After a few minutes of relentless finger fucking, Krycek withdrew. Mulder, knowing what would come next, eagerly raised his ass into the air. Krycek placed a pillow under Mulder's stomach, allowing him easy access to the swollen cock.

 

Mulder whimpered when Krycek laid down on top of him. It felt good, aside from the sexual arousal, to have another body covering him. Krycek slid his hands up and down Mulder's sides. "Make me forget, Alex."

 

Krycek kissed the back of Mulder's ear. With trembling hands, Krycek placed his cock at Mulder's tight entrance and began to penetrate. "Oh God, baby. You're so tight," Krycek murmured. For Mulder it was part pain, part pleasure, and complete rapture. And when Krycek put a hand around Mulder's cock and began to thrust, Mulder's rapture increased tenfold.

 

It had been a long time for both men, and release came quickly - Mulder with a hoarse scream of joy, Krycek with a quieter but no less pleased grunt. Afterwards, Krycek held Mulder close, stroking his new lover's body, memorizing its contours. Neither man spoke, but instead fell asleep holding each other. Mulder was certain that for once in his life, he would not be hurt in this relationship.

 

Mulder had been wrong. Krycek did hurt him worse than anyone ever had. It had been a knife to the heart to find the Morley cigarette butts in Krycek's car.

 

The hiss of static finally brought Mulder back to the here and now. He had been so caught up in the memory, he had let the tape play out. Picking up the remote, he reversed it to the point where he had first zoned out. He watched the conversation with the volume at full blast, but the audio feed on the bugs had completely failed.

 

He watched Krycek head off to his bedroom, and Scully to the phone. The feed was edited at that point, because the next scene was Scully rifling through Krycek's clothes. Of the younger man, there was no sign. <What are you doing Scully?> He could not figure out why Scully was reacting so calmly to Krycek's presence in his apartment.

 

The tape spliced again. Now the scene showed Scully and Krycek on his bed, eating dinner like they were old friends. Or that's what he thought until he saw Scully reach out and place a hand on Krycek's left shoulder, and Krycek stroke Scully's cheek. <Don't you dare,> he thought, not certain who the comment was directed towards. And there was no mistaking his feelings of jealousy and envy when he saw them kiss. <And what are you upset about? Are you angry about the fact that Krycek is kissing Scully and 'cheating' on you? Or that he's doing what you never had the nerve to do? Or that Scully is kissing Krycek and you want to be the one kissing him?>

 

But before he could chase that thought down further, Krycek lightly touched between Scully's eyes. <Don't act like you didn't know, bastard,> Mulder thought. <She's dying and you're part of the reason.> And then he watched as Krycek got off the bed, collected his jacket, and leave.

 

And Scully did nothing to stop him.

 

Mulder shut off the VCR. He leaned back against the headboard with a thoughtful frown. After his 'resurrection,' he would have a long talk with Scully. And then he would hunt down Krycek. Either to kill him or to fuck him.

 

Mulder wasn't sure which, yet.