Disclaimer: Giving a sidekick to each hero was a good idea, but it wasn't
mine. Minds-town was.

Ratings: PG 13

Plot Summary: The sidekicks meet.

Chaos in Minds-town III: The sidekicks' meeting
by Ratwoman
Ratwoman@unicum.de

For all who don't know all the sidekicks here, a short description in order
of appearance:

-Hercules, the legendary journeys:
+Iolaus: a cute, blonde man, nice smile in a friendly face, and muscles like... *sigh*. Always wears tight leather pants and an open vest. He was the reason why I first started to watch Hercules
-Xena, the Warrior Princess:
+Gabrielle: Not the reason why I started to watch Xena, but she's a nice blonde girl with green eyes. Like Iolaus, she wears clothes that show more than they hide.
-The Sentinel:
+Blair Sandberg: Oh, he's so sweet! Pretty, young, small man with brown curls, big eyes and a sweet nose.
-X-files:
+Alex Krycek: I know, he's not really a sidekick, but.... Large green eyes, looong eyelashes, long long legs, a hot ass, dark hair, a pretty nose.... do I need to say more?
-Highlander:
+Methos: long, thin, dark hair, sharp features and a cute ass.
Hercules:
+Strife: I know that's weird.... Dark haired youth in leather, looking like a punk.
Xena:
+Joxer: I won't allow him to wear that stupid helmet in Minds-town! Relatively good-looking fool; he somewhen stopped going on my nerves

 

Chaos in Minds-town III: The sidekicks' meeting

The Year is 1999, the name of the place: Minds-town, where the creatures of the creatives spent their times between breaks of shooting.

 

Iolaus and Gabrielle entered the Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club, chattering about their lives.

"...but what really goes on my nerves: why has always Hercules to be the hero?" Iolaus asked. "Why not me?"

"You at least had some adventures to beat on your own." Gabrielle answered. "And you really were good alone. But when I remember how Joxer and I tried to save Cleopatra without Xena ... a catastrophe! It looked as if not only Joxer, but also I was a fool."

"And how often do I look foolish?" Iolaus said. "Everytime a pretty woman appears, I usually get in trouble and Herc has to rescue me."

A short man with brown curls had listened to them until now, now he threw in: "I know how that is. It's always me who gets kidnapped, drugged, beaten, and then Jim comes and saves me. Why is it never the other way 'round?"

"At least, you GET rescued." an incredibly sexy man with dark hair and huge green eyes said. "Mulder can't even save himself."

Blair Sandberg blinked: "So YOU have to rescue your hero at times?"

"N...no. I always get him into trouble." With a sad look on his face he added: "And then he gets angry and beats me."

Iolaus stared at him in suprise. "He beats you? Hercules would never hurt me. What are you, the sado-maso-version of a sidekick?"

"I'm not really a sidekick." Krycek admitted. "I'm one of the bad guys. But like a sidekick I sometimes accompany him on his travels."

Gabrielle frowned thoughtfully. "I'm certainly not the sado-maso-version of a sidekick, but Xena even tried to kill me once."

"Once?" Krycek called out. "I stopped counting the times Mulder was short of shooting me!"

A long, thin man sitting at a table stood up to join the group. "Mac Leod was noble enough not to kill me even when I offered it to him." Frowning he added. "But his stubborn sense of honour really goes on my nerves."

Another man came along, looking like a punk. "My hero is ok, but since I died I didn't have anything to do anymore."

Blair stared at him in shock: "Sidekicks can die?"

"Yes, but usually they come back." Krycek replied. "Everyone thought it was my end when I was shut in that silo."

"But then your hero must have rescued you." Sandberg threw him, remembering that he had said his hero never saved him.

Krycek shook his head. "He didn't. Well, in some of the fan fiction he did, but our master never explained how I got out."

Iolaus smiled dreamily. "I'll never forget how Herc stepped down into the Underworld to take me back from the dead."

Blair looked at him with interest. "Sounds like Orpheus and Eurydike; Orpheus begging the God of the Underworld to give back his beloved."

"Subtext." the punk grinned. "Just like Ares whining for me when I died."

"Ares?" Blair frowned. "The Greek God of War?"

"I'm Strife, the bad guy's sidekick." Strife explained. "In Xena even the bad guys have their sidekicks."

"Not to forget the sidekicks of the sidekicks." a man dressed in clothes, that looked as if they weren't meant to be arranged together, said. "Hi Gabrielle!"

Gabrielle rolled unnerved her eyes. "Joxer!" Then she tugged at his ear.

Krycek grimaced pitifully. "Ouch, she's almost as brutal as Mulder!"

"Mac Leod may not be brutal," Methos said, "but terribly oversensitive. You should have seen how offended he was just because he found out that I was a mass murderer in Bronze Age."

Krycek nodded his head. "I know how that is. Mulder is still angry because I killed his father a few years ago, and he didn't even like his father. Besides, he has no proof that it was me. Not even the audience saw me shoot!"

Methos already thought about something else. "Haven't we met in fanfiction once or twice?"

"Yeah, I think so..." Krycek started to remember. "Where did we stop the last time?"

"Don't remember." Methos replied. "Let's just start with the beginning." Then he started to kiss Krycek.

The others just briefly looked at the men; they were used to slash fan fiction. But seeing them Gabrielle had an idea. Turning to Sandberg she said seductively: "You know, when I'm not together with Xena, I prefer long-haired men." Then she passed her fingers through his hair and kissed him. Sandberg was still staring perplexedly at her when Iolaus said: "Me, too." and took Gabrielle's place.

Joxer looked sadly at Gabrielle, who was struggling with Iolaus for Sandberg. "If I didn't look like such a fool all the time," he sighed, "perhaps then I had a chance."

"You have at least your moments." Strife said. "For example, how you tried to save Gabrielle from Xena at the beginning of The Bitter Suite. But I ... not one good scene."

Joxer looked at him in agreement. "The writers should really treat us with a bit more respect!"

Strife gazed at Joxer with interest. "I didn't know how good you're looking when you don't wear that stupid helmet." He smiled seductively. (Well, more or less.)

Joxer let his gaze travel over the couple and the threesome. Krycek and Methos were tearing down each other's clothes, Gabrielle and Iolaus were undressing Blair, and whom did he get? Strife! Why did Joxer always get the loser card?

The end