(I accidentally sent this from a different email before, and I haven'tseen it show up on the list yet, so if it has, please forgive me!)


Title: Author's Files

Author: Amatia

Email: violinst@pitnet.net

Distribution: Gossamer is cool, anywhere else, please drop me a line.Rating: PG-13 for slash mentionings.

Category: VH

Summary: Krycek and The Author have a little chat. :-)




Author's Files

by Amatia

The Author was sitting in her swivel chair, making faces at her Evil!Macintoshand chewing on a pen when the door swung open and banged against the wall.With a bang. She looked up as Krycek stalked into the room. "Morning,Alex."

"Don't "morning, Alex" me," he snapped, a sulky lookon his face.

"Someone's touchy this morning," The Author said, leaning backin her chair. "Did you not find enought smut involving you on the Internetlast night?"

She grinned evilly, and Krycek scowled. "Why do you all always haveto pair me with Mulder? Why can't I sleep with someone else? Marita, maybe?" "Nononono!" the Author exclaimed. "That happened *on* theshow, and that hurt us enough. And why'd you do it, Alex?!"

"Carter made me," he grumbled. "He knew that I'd be gettinga lot of smut from that kiss scene with Mulder." "It was nicesmut, Alex!" she countered.

"Oh yeah? You go look at the new listings at Gossamer!" Heflopped down in the chair across from her. "At least you don't makea really big deal about my arm."

"I don't see the need to," The Author replied. "So, whatdid you come to see me about?"

Krycek leaned forward in his chair. "I want a *big* speech."

"You want a *big* speech?" she looked puzzled. "Clarify,please."

"I wanna rant for ten minutes about whatever I want. Mulder getsto rant and rave. Look at your last story. He got to yell at Scully aboutabductions."

"He didn't *yell*, Alex," she snapped.

"He got to push Scully over a couch!"

"I had to put some UST into it, you know." The Author scowledat him. "I have 'shipper roots. I can't deny it all the time. Evenif I have been converted. Besides, without that, it just would have beenan argument. What, did you want me to have Mulder jump on the trash canlike he did in 'Bad Blood'?"

"Well, no, that was a little psychotic actually," Krycek admitted."But back to the original subject. I want a big long speech." "I wrote you three vignettes, Alex," she reminded him. "Butit's not the same. I can rant to the reader. I want to rant to someone else."

"Who? Mulder? Scully? *Spender?*"

Krycek gagged. "Please, don't ever put me near him." "Sorry.Already did." The Author patted the Evil!Mac and grinned. "Butit's not slashy, don't worry, Alex."

Krycek sighed in relief. "Do I have an arm in this new story?"

"No. It's a post-Terma story. Post-Season Five." "Everythingyou write is Post-Terma!" he argued. "I want an arm in one ofyour stories! I don't care if I have to sleep with Mulder. It'll be betterwith two arms, anyway..."

"Alex!" she exclaimed. "You didn't just say what I thoughtyou said!"

"Uhm...." He turned bright red.

The Author grinned in exitement. "You know that I'm going to usethat to the best advantage now."

"Aww, you already have two stories where I get naked with Mulder!"

"Two is not enough. I have tasted slash...."

"...and you want more," Krycek sighed. "Fine. But I getto have two arms."

"Deal," she said. "I already have an idea. But you don'tjust jump into bed with Mulder. It's a more gradual thing." "

Please don't have me get drunk and proposition Mulder."

"I haven't ruled that out as a slight possibility. But don't gettoo worked up," she warned as he scowled again. "And stop scowlingat me. You're still my favorite."

He grinned despite himself. "Even with one arm?"

"Even with one arm," she assured him.

Krycek relaxed in his chair. "Can I have my rant?"

"I'll think about it. What do you have to rant about if you haveboth your arms? Tell me."

"I can have an argument with Mulder about alien abductees."

"Been done too many times with Scully," The Author countered."Next idea."

"We can argue over whatever your new idea is about." He waggledhis eyebrows. "You gonna tell me?"

"Maybe later," she said with a grin. "Now, give me a kissand shoo. I have work to do."

"Two arms," he said and kissed her quickly. "I get twoarms. And a speech."

"Two arms. But I have to think of a speech idea."

"All right. I'll be back later to check."

"Where you off to?" she asked.

Krycek grinned. "MKRA, of course."

Then he vanished, leaving the Author to stare wide-eyed after him.




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- From "Once a Thief - The Director's Files"