May 1999

Disclaimer: Now I lay me down to sleep, Chris Carter's boys I wish to keep. If he and FOX would give them up, I'd die one very happy pup.
Rating/Pairing: NC-17 for m/m smut, M/K
Spoilers: SR 819
Summary: QI phone sex challenge. There's a phone, there's sex...
Notes: Thanks to Lucy, Row, and Orithain for the beta and to Sue, Nic, Orithain and Aries for inviting me to join in the madness. Should I be afraid?
Feedback: This is my first QI challenge so please be gentle. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Be as rough as you want!

by Frankie

Fox Mulder angrily opened the door to the latest in a long line of two bit motel rooms. Same decor, same layout...basically same shit, different day. He laughed ruefully at his pun as he thought about the detail he and Scully had once again pulled. If Mulder had needed another reason to hate their new boss, being repeatedly sent to check out farmers who had bought large amounts of fertilizer definitely put him over the top.

Mulder flopped down on the bed, not bothering to take off his overcoat or shoes. He wondered if it was possible to die of boredom and lack of libido. It seemed that lately his life had been so empty and meaningless he'd lost interest in everything that usually made him feel alive. One of those things, his work on the X-Files, had been taken away. The other, his healthy sex drive, had been stripped from him and he couldn't pinpoint the moment it happened. Nothing could spark any interest; not his videos, magazines, books, the girls he'd call, images of Scully writhing underneath him as he pounded into her, or even fantasies of being fucked senseless by their former AD. Nothing worked. Mulder was so on edge he was afraid that he'd never get an erection again. He knew the odds of that were extremely low, but sometimes that's how he felt.

Sighing, he rolled over onto his side and made the first move toward taking a shower. Now, if he could just get his ass off the bed, he'd be set.

"Fuck it." He rolled over onto his back again and closed his eyes. If he showed up at the next farmhouse wearing a rumpled suit, he really doubted anyone would give a damn, even Scully. He knew she was just as fed up as he was. The only excitement they'd had recently was Skinner falling ill and almost dying, and that was the kind of excitement they could do without. Mulder wished he could work on finding the scraggly-haired bastard who'd been outside Skinner's room. There'd been something vaguely familiar about him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. The stance and way he'd run when Mulder had given chase reminded him of...It was too ridiculous to even think about. What the hell would Alex Krycek be doing with the ability to kill or save Skinner?

Mulder noticed that when he'd started thinking about the rogue agent, he'd gotten a familiar but almost forgotten tingle in his nether regions. What the hell? Chalking it up to his body being completely screwed up, Mulder allowed his thoughts to wander. He'd noticed Krycek when the two of them had been partners, but he'd always been a bit too earnest and willing to please for Mulder's taste. When Mulder was with a man, he didn't want some subservient kid full of hero worship sucking his dick, he wanted someone who would take control and make him surrender to them. By the time he'd realized what kind of man Krycek really was, there'd been too much hurt and betrayal. But even with the pain Mulder had suffered at Krycek's hands, he still found himself wondering what all that intensity would be like if it was focused on making him come. His head was soon filled with the image of Krycek above him, his face flushed and his breathing heavy as he pumped into him relentlessly. Mulder's eyes flew open and he was shocked to feel the tell-tale tightness around his groin which indicated his libido was up and running. How fucked was it that the man he couldn't stand being near was the only person who could turn him on? Fucked or not, Mulder was increasingly aware that his trousers were now uncomfortably tight and if he didn't do something to relieve himself soon, he'd have the worst case of blue balls since he'd been sixteen and his date had backed down at the worst possible moment. He decided the best course of action was to jerk off in the shower while thinking about some anonymous big breasted bimbo. If he allowed himself to think of Krycek while he got off, he'd never be able to forgive himself. Okay, maybe he could, but he'd never be able to explain either to himself or anyone else how he could be attracted to a lying, murderous, traitorous

Mulder's thoughts were interrupted by the shrill ring of his cell phone. It couldn't be Scully because she'd been so exhausted she was going to forgo dinner and just go to bed. But she could have changed her mind, Mulder supposed. He wondered why she didn't use the room phone but dismissed the use of her cell as habit on her part.



So it wasn't Scully. Perhaps it was someone trying to contact him about an X-File or maybe even give him information on past unsolved cases. He knew that it was probably wishful thinking, but that was all he had at the moment.

"Hello? Who is this?"

There was nothing but breathing on the other end. It wasn't heavy breathing so Mulder could dismiss either a pervert or someone in trouble.

"I'm going to hang up if you don't start talking."

"Hello, Mulder." The voice was as sweet and warm as honey, but Mulder knew it was as dangerous as a well honed blade. As much as Mulder suddenly wanted to hear it, he knew it would hurt him.

"What do you want?"

"I have some information for you." The quiet, husky tone did nothing to dampen Mulder's arousal.

"Mulder, did you hear me?"

"II...yes." Mulder hadn't realized he'd failed to reply. "What could you have to tell me about a pile of shit, Krycek?"

The rough, guttural laugh made Mulder's stomach clench, and he didn't know if it was due to the pure sex that dripped from it, or the fact that Krycek had no right laughing at anything.

"What's so funny?"

"You are. What I have to tell you is far more important than what some farmer is doing with two tons of chickenshit."

"Well?" Mulder was feeling extremely impatient and uncomfortable. His cock was responding to the seductive tones, and he needed to come, not stay on the phone waiting for information that may or may not be true. Nevermind the fact that he couldn't reconcile his sudden, uncharacteristic interest in a man who until tonight had fostered nothing in him but anger and a need for revenge. Mulder simply wrote it off as a by product of what his life had become lately.

"It has to do with your former boss. I understand he was sick recently. I know who was involved. You interested?"

It was uncanny that Krycek brought up what Mulder had been thinking about just a few moments ago. Mulder felt his heart beat a little faster at the coincidence.

"Krycek, just tell me and leave me alone."

There was a slight pause.

"Am I disturbing something?" The inquiry was so polite Mulder laughed at the absurdity of the civility.

"I have no idea why you're bothering to call me, but I'd really like to know why you suddenly decided to call me now."

"I already told you. I know what happened to Skinner."

"How the hell are you connected to that? How do I know you're not just fucking with me?"

"Now why would I do that?" Mulder could hear him smiling.

"Because that's just you, Krycek. Why the hell did you pick tonight to call me?"

"What's wrong, Mulder? Were you thinking about me, and now you're wondering if we have some kind of psychic connection?"

That had crossed Mulder's mind momentarily, much the same way the thought of killing someone who'd just cut him off on the freeway would cross his mind. He was taken aback to hear Krycek verbalizing his thoughts, however. Knowing he should just end the call before he confused himself anymore, Mulder instead pursued it.

"You've got ten seconds to start talking, or I'm hanging up."

"Okay, keep your pants on...unless it's too late for that."

"Excuse me?"

"You know, I remember when we were partners and we'd be on the road, staying in cheap motels, sometimes having to share a don't think I could hear you jerking off after you thought I was asleep? Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to lie there listening to you and not be able to do anything about it?"

Mulder's mouth was suddenly dry, and he realized his hand was moving down to cup his erection through his pants.

"Krycek, what do you want?"

"Mulder, you sound funny. Are you sure I didn't interrupt anything? I figured you'd probably be taking advantage of the down time to engage in a little self-love." He took a deep breath. "So, are you lying there holding your dick, thinking about how much you'd love to have it in someone's mouth right now?"

Mulder managed to suppress the groan that wanted to escape his lips. He didn't reply, instead unfastening his slacks and placing an eager hand around the hot, hard flesh of his cock. He was so hard he knew it wouldn't take much to make him come. Spreading around the fluid that was steadily leaking from the tip of his cock, he hadn't realized he'd made any sounds until Krycek spoke to him.

"What was that, Mulder? You can't hold off long enough to listen to what I have to say? Are you that hard? You at the point where a few more strokes will do it and you'll come all over yourself? I love the sounds you make when you come and you're trying so hard to be quiet about it. Your breathing gets heavier, and you make these tiny whimpering sounds. I can tell that you're really trying to hold back. Are you loud, Mulder? Yeah, I bet when you just let yourself go, you scream when you come."

Mulder discovered he was breathing heavily and that his hand had been moving up and down his shaft as the torrent of words flowed over him, making him harder with every stroke.

"Are you doing it right now, Mulder? I can hear it in your breathing. You're jerking off right now, aren't you? Who're you thinking about?"

Mulder cleared his throat and stilled his hand. "I'm not thinking about you if that's what you're implying." His voice was shaky, and he knew that he wasn't fooling anyone.

"Whoa," Krycek chuckled. "Who said anything about me?" He paused and Mulder heard some rustling. "So, you're thinking about me, huh?"

"What? I just"

"Yeah, I know what you said, but I think that as a psychologist you have to admit that"

"Fine," Mulder snapped. "Fine, I was thinking about you, but it's not what you think."

"Well, tell me what it is."

"Krycek," he sighed, "tell me what you wanted to tell me and then I'll let you go."

"Maybe I don't want to just talk and run. Guess what I'm doing right now?" Mulder heard some more rustling then the sound of a zipper being pulled down. "Did you hear that?"

Mulder nodded and licked his lips, his hand still gripping his aching cock.

"Mulder, I can't hear you if you just nodded. Stay with me here."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Oh, please. Don't try and make it sound like you're still on the line because I have a gun to your head. You can hang up right now, and I won't call you back. I can get the information to you some other way. It's your choice."

Mulder hesitated then clicked the 'end' button on his phone. He may regret it later, but for now he knew he'd done the right thing if he wanted to get out of this unscathed. The more he questioned himself, the less confused he became. Whatever attraction he was feeling had more to do with some unhealthy need to destroy himself rather than any emotion. If his life was heading downhill, why not change his relationship with Krycek? It was either that or start shooting up, and at least with Krycek he wouldn't turn into some helpless addict.

He got up and quickly undressed, determined to take a shower, jerk off, and get to bed before he could think about it too much more. He'd been about to turn on the shower when the room phone rang. Part of him was relieved for the distraction, but another part wished he'd finished what had been started. He answered the phone, quashing the thought before it could fully form.


"Mulder, it's me." Scully's voice sounded troubled.

"Scully, what's wrong?"

"I just received the strangest call. It was a man but his voice was distorted. He gave me a phone number and said if you didn't call it in the next five minutes, Skinner was a dead man. Mulder, what's going on?"

"I'll explain later. Give me the number." Mulder memorized it and hung up with Scully. Maybe this was the information Krycek had promised. He grabbed his cell phone and dialed.

"Wow. You still had two minutes left."

"You son of a bitch. What kind of game are you playing? You said that if I hung up it was finished."

"Actually," Krycek sounded as if he were explaining something to a small child. "I said that if you hung up, I wouldn't call you back."

"You lying sack of shit."

"Oh, stop with the name calling. I don't think you really wanted to end it, did you?"

When Mulder didn't answer, Krycek laughed. "Why don't you just play along for now? No one has to know you got off because you were talking to me. I won't tell. Promise."

"Well, we both know what your promises mean."

"When have I ever broken a promise to you? As far as I can remember, I've never made you any."

"What about in Tunguska?"

"Don't ever bring that up again. I never made any promises when we were there. Besides, we would have gotten out intact if you hadn't fucked it all up. I stress the word intact." Krycek's voice was poison, oily and deadly. Just as quickly, the playful quality that had characterized the evening returned. "What are you wearing?"

Mulder's head was spinning at the complete turn around he'd heard in just a few seconds, and he had no idea what to make of it. He didn't even know if he should attempt to try and figure out what had just happened.

"Well? Are you going to answer me?"

"I'm not going to do this. I can't." Mulder's voice was barely a whisper. He knew that he was going to give in to the inevitable but wanted the pretense of putting up a fight.

"I'll tell you what I'm wearing then. Let's T-shirt, black jeans which are unzipped, but you knew that, right? Oh, and my leather boots..."

"Why don't you just say you're wearing your uniform? Just finish work, Krycek?" Mulder's voice was still unsteady, but maybe if he could steer the conversation away from sex...

"Yeah, actually. Been a long day. Now I just want to relax."

"So you thought you'd harass me. You need to get a hobby. Better yet, get a fucking life."

"Am I harassing you? I thought I was helping you find out what happened to your boss." Mulder could picture the indifferent shrug that probably accompanied those words.

"Do you always have phone sex with the people you're trying to help?"

"Only if they ask for it. I'd say you were. How long have you wanted my ass, Mulder?"

"I don't"

"If it makes you feel better to think you don't want me, you don't have to admit it. I, on the other hand, have no problem telling you that I still think about fucking you. Knowing you, it'll never happen, but I thought I should be honest with you. Hold on."

Mulder heard some knocking sounds and a slight grunt.

"Okay, I'm back. I just took off my shoes. Trying to get comfy, you know? Mulder, are you still there?"

"Yeah." Mulder bit his lip and sat down on the bed, his cock now screaming for some attention. "Nothing."

"What's that?"

"That's what I'm wearing."

"Oh." Another throaty laugh. "Let me join you then."

Mulder heard the sounds of clothes being removed. He imagined Krycek naked, cock in hand, and felt his own dick twitch at the thought.

"That's better," Krycek sighed like a man who'd finally gotten to sit down after spending all day on his feet. "Are you lying down?"

"Yeah," Mulder said as he stretched out on the bed. "Where are you?"

"I'm sitting on my couch with my feet on the coffee table. My knees are bent and my legs are spread. Right now I'm playing with my nipples, imagining it's you." The sigh was the most satisfied one Mulder had ever heard. "Did you ever want to fuck me when we were partners?"

"Huh?" Mulder asked, groggily. He'd been picturing Krycek spread wantonly, looking every inch the beautiful slut. "Actually, no."

"Really? I'm crushed. Do you have any idea how many times I wanted to bury my face in your crotch while you were driving? God, I had a perpetual hard-on whenever I was within ten feet of you." He groaned softly. "I'm so hard thinking about you lying there naked. You have any idea how good my cock would feel sliding into your ass, Mulder? You'd love it."

"Oh, god," Mulder whispered as he slid his hand over the silken steel of his cock. "Alex..."

"Fox, I'm rubbing my thumb over the tip of my cock and pretending it's your tongue. I want to feel your lips sucking me into your mouth. I bet you give head like nobody's business. You like to suck cock, Fox?"

Mulder moaned into the phone and began thrusting his hips into his fist.

"I bet you do," Krycek continued. "I do too. I can't believe you never wanted me to suck you off, to feel your cock sliding into my mouth. I've dreamed about how you'd taste. Fox, I really want you to fuck my mouth. Hell, I want you to fuck me in every way you can. Would you like that?"

"Mmm..." Mulder was stroking, pulling and squeezing his rigid flesh until he was on the verge of orgasm.

"Maybe you'd rather I shove you up against a wall and bury myself in your ass...shit, I want to feel my dick inside you, want that, don't you? You want to feel me fucking you while you jerk off."

"Yeah...Alex, I...fuck me..."

"I knew it. Come on, Fox. I want to hear you come." Krycek's breathing was getting heavier and his words were becoming more and more disconnected. "Do it, Fox...I'm so close...I want to come with you..."

"Oh god...this is so good, Alex...I'm going to come...Alex!" Mulder shouted his ex-partner's name as he tumbled over the edge and his semen shot out of him in angry spurts, covering his hand and streaking across his stomach. He kept squeezing the sensitive flesh, trying to milk every drop.

"Shit...Fox...I'm coming..." The feral cry that assaulted Mulder's ear was almost enough to make him hard again, and he was overwhelmed by the desire to feel Krycek come in his mouth, to taste him as his semen slid down his throat.

After a few quiet minutes of listening to one another's breathing slowly return to normal, Mulder spoke. "Krycek?"

"Back to Krycek, huh? You disappoint me."

"Well, temporary insanity makes people do crazy things." Mulder studied his come-covered hand with mindless fascination. He'd never be the same.

"Yeah, yours made you come harder than you probably have in a while. Did you like that?"

Krycek's uncanny ability to know what Mulder was thinking was very disconcerting and made Mulder feel extremely uneasy.

"I'll admit that it's been a while since I've done this."

"Done what? Jerked off while talking to an ex-partner and current enemy on the phone?"

"Jerked off at all, smartass."

"Ah hah." Krycek sounded triumphant. "So I helped you get off after a dry spell...I'm pleased I have that effect on you."

"All you have is uncanny timing."

"If that'll help you sleep at night."

There was another lengthy silence as both men tried to find a way to end the conversation.

"Well, Mulder, as much as I hate to leave you, I should go get cleaned up."

"Me too. But what about the information you had about Skinner?"

"Tell you what. You agree to see me in person, I'll tell you everything."

Mulder sat up. "I can't do that. This was bad enough but"

"Did I mention anything about sex? Are you afraid you won't be able to control yourself, Mulder? Now I'm really flattered."

"That's not what I meant."

"You're the master of self-delusion, aren't you? That's the deal, take it or leave it."

Mulder sighed, knowing when he'd been beaten. "Fine. Where and when?"

Krycek laughed. "Don't worry, I'll find you." Before Mulder could respond, there was a click and then silence. For an instant Mulder felt a fleeting sense of loss.

As if seeing himself for the first time, Mulder made a face and went to take a shower. He had no idea what kind of consequences there would be for his actions, but the thought of seeing Krycek under the pretense of gaining information excited him. Now every time he was home, he'd be expecting Krycek to be there. Who knew what they'd end up doing? Mulder laughed as he realized how stupid that question was. Of course they'd end up fucking each other. No, he chastised himself, he was not going to let his thoughts go down that path.

He stepped out of the shower and dried off. All he wanted to do was grab something to eat and got to bed. Maybe he'd call for a pizza. If he could get a good night's sleep, he could face the next day with a little perspective. The sooner he and Scully were finished with this assignment, the sooner he could get home and...god, he was looking forward to Krycek's visit. How the hell had the world changed in such a short time? What had he told himself about not getting addicted?

Shaking his head, he wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom.

"Feeling modest, Mulder?"

Mulder almost pinched himself to determine if he was hallucinating. When he realized the vision in black sprawled on his bed really was Alex Krycek, Mulder went for his gun.

"I can't believe you'd hold me at gunpoint," Krycek said, showing Mulder the very weapon he'd been about to get. "I thought you trusted me. Look I brought dinner." He pointed at a pizza box sitting on the table next to the door. "It's cold though."

Ignoring the mystified feeling he had at seeing the pizza, Mulder turned to Krycek, his fists clenched. "What the fuck are you doing here? I thought you were home."

Krycek shrugged. "I lied. I've been in my car right out there." He pointed in the direction of the parking lot. "I wanted to make sure it was safe to come in. I figured if I made you come, you couldn't possibly beat me up."

"Think again." Mulder lunged at the bed and was stopped short by the barrel of a gun pointing in his face. It was deja vu all over again as he remembered the last time Krycek had pulled a gun on him. The memory of treacherous lips on his cheek sent a warm rush to his face as he looked at the man who had done so much to make him betray himself.

"Mulder, calm down. I'm only here to talk." Krycek's eyes wandered down Mulder's body, stopping at the growing bulge he could see under the towel. "I can't believe you don't want to keep your mind on the business at hand." He smiled wryly.

Even as his body betrayed him, Mulder attempted to distance himself, both emotionally and physically.

"What business would that be? Your supposed insight into what happened to Skinner?"

"I definitely know what happened to Skinner. And you're going to ensure it doesn't happen again."

Mulder frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Krycek took out a small, black box and showed it to Mulder. "Allow me to explain."