"THE MOMENT OF TRUTH"
Please forward to ATXC.
SUMMARY: Part of the 'These Men Of Honor' cycle. Alex Krycek is back as Mulder's partner and bodyguard. But it looks like their relationship is heading for a new phase on a personal as well as professional level.
DISCLAIMER: Despite the fact that we have moral rights over the characters of Alex Krycek and Fox Mulder, we don't in any way object to Chris Carter using them too. So long as he DOESN'T DAMAGE THEM. Put that arm back where you found it, you vandal.
CERT: NC17, and Slash Alert. Which is why you're here in the first place, right?
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story is part of the 'These Men of Honor' cycle, a joint production by Arlington and phyre. The running order so far is 'Absolution: Prologue', 'Absolution: Act One', this story, and then 'Powerplay'.
I would be terribly remiss in my notes if I did not toss a big heartfelt 'thank you' to Rachel Lee Arlington for graciously allowing me to play in her universe and providing the toys as well. This story never would have made it to posting condition had it not been for her fine handed editing and superb additional text and dialogue.
For those who have just joined us: this story takes place circa early season six. Mulder has agreed to accept protection and help from the Well Manicured Man's aide CIA Department Director Christian Dubretsky and Dubretsky's protegee Alex Krycek, whom Mulder now knows has been on his side all along, at great personal cost.
And before you ask, this cycle will eventually account for every look and word and action we have ever seen in connection with Krycek. Except for that aberration about the arm, which was clearly a editing error which we will tactfully ignore.
"THE MOMENT OF TRUTH"
Fox Mulder awoke with the beginnings of a headache only to find himself surrounded by damp tangled bedclothes. The cloying and unmistakable scent of sex and sweat hung in the air like a shroud. He realized he was hungry; cold and hungry, but he felt the hunger more. He shifted tentatively and sucked in a low groan, his muscles rebelling fiercely at the movement. He was sore, really sore. He felt aches in places he didn't know existed. Well no, I knew they existed last night but they didn't hurt then, at least not like this, he silently amended. Once fully awake he came to the conclusion only the front half of him was cold, the other half was pleasantly warm. He scooted backwards into the warmth and felt a soft moist breath on his neck. An arm loosely curled itself around his side and a hand strayed perilously close to his groin.
Oh well, I'm not *that* hungry, he reasoned. A distracted smile played over his lips while he stroked and petted the warm golden skin.
Streetlights and shop signs across the way cast an eerie glow into the semi-darkened room. Mulder looked around and took in the assorted clothing haphazardly strewn across the room. Oh my God ... what a night. Are we going to regret this move in the light of day? He pushed away the nagging thought, drew in a deep breath and released it as a long sigh.
Mulder focused on a shimmery gleam near the nightstand and leaned over for a closer inspection: a shirt button. Memories of the previous night flooded back, bringing another ache. This one was welcomed: it was heavy and sweet and centered squarely in his groin, dangerously close to the stilled hand.
It had started with a kiss.
The kiss began tentatively enough. It was a hint, a mere flicker of promise, nothing more. Just a quick brush of cool, damp, soft lips against his ear at the precise moment he turned his head to say something about a case. Nerve endings sizzled and popped at the feel of it. His name was spoken in a voice rich with a timbre he had never heard used before: a rough edge that spoke of forbidden intimacies without saying the words. A blush of surprise warmed and colored his cheeks. He strove to collect his thoughts, but was rendered powerless as they scattered to the four corners of his cluttered office at the first sensation of warm breath on his neck and the flick of a well placed tongue.
Mulder completed the turn of his head, met a completely intent gaze. Where did that come from? What are you doing? He questioned silently with impassioned and wary eyes. He looked for a clue, a sign of what was happening, of what was to come next. He found the answers in eyes that looked not just at him but deeply into him. You know what I'm doing ... we both want this. We've wanted it for years. We'll wait no longer. *I'll* wait no longer.
A chaste kiss on the lips left Mulder feeling as if he had been burned by an unseen ember; a gasp escaped before he knew he had uttered a sound. He tried to reassemble his thoughts from their tiny shards, chiding himself. Breathe you idiot before you pass out.
"Tell me to stop Mulder. Tell me to stop and I will. Do you want me to stop? Say the word ... say 'stop', and I will."
Mulder heard the taunting words, watched as the mouth moved and the lips shaped themselves to form the syllables. He saw the dusky red tongue slip from between already dampened lips and slick over them again. He caught a fleeting glimpse of perfectly even pristine small white teeth. He closed his eyes and allowed his imagination to kick into merciless overdrive. He wanted those lips and tongue and teeth. He wanted them everywhere; seeking out private spots, sucking and biting, licking and kissing. He re opened his eyes and looked into the cool steady gaze of his partner's knowing eyes. Every one of his illicit, dark, buried so deep he never thought they would see the light of day emotions and fantasies bubbled like lava. They seethed just under the surface of his composure; then he very recklessly allowed them the freedom they demanded.
"No ... I don't want you to stop." OhmygoddidIjustsaythat? No ... I couldn't have.
Mulder looked down as competent fingers tugged at the loose knot of his tie and slowly pulled it through the collar of his used to be crisp white shirt. His eyes followed his favorite paisley tie to its new home on the office floor amidst the paper clips and sunflower seed hulls, then returned to watch as capable fingers worked at their task. Buttons, one by one, slipped through their respective holes with agonizing slowness. He reluctantly stopped the action with the touch of his finger on the moist parted lips that hovered close to his, forcing eye contact.
Mulder nearly succumbed to the temptation to allow the seduction to just continue as their darkened eyes held and locked on one another. He tore his gaze away and looked around the office. This basement was their sanctuary: kept free from the prying eyes and listening ears. It hadn't always been that way, but now it was safe, sheltered. He was kept so carefully protected from everything except the person put here to help him.
Mulder looked back to patient unwavering eyes: they held the key. They held the secret, they always had. They were speaking to him. Who would know? Who would care? Does it matter anymore? Who are we trying to kid anyway? Ourselves? We never fooled each other. Not ever. Even at the worst of times, through the betrayals and the hopelessness, we always knew the truth. It was there right from the start. We just had to find it. And it's safe now ... safer.
"Wait ... please ... just wait a minute." Mulder found his voice again. He knew he was speaking, he just didn't know how he had managed to overcome the scraping dryness in his throat. He pulled his voice from the depths where it had been buried and forced it to work, to say words he didn't want to say but had to all the same.
"Not here. My place ... your place ... anywhere ... just not here. It'll never be as safe as you want, as safe as you may think."
"Mulder, I'm telling you it's okay, no one will bother us." A deep sigh of exasperation followed by soothing, placating words. "Fine, if you'll feel better somewhere else, so be it. I've waited this long I guess I can wait another half an hour. But I'm warning you Mulder, if this is a tease I'll make you rue the day you met me. I can torture you in ways you haven't even imagined yet. This is it, no more games, no more innuendoes; culmination. I want it, you want it, end of story. Come on, let's get out of here."
Mulder felt himself simultaneously tense and relax. Oh God, here it is, the moment of truth.
"Mulder. Are you coming or not?" Another taunt, deftly disguised as a question.
Mulder bit his tongue and shook his head slightly. God ... what a question! He grabbed his jacket and made his way out the door on the heels of his tormentor. They walked at a sedate pace to the elevator and waited for the doors to part. Once inside the empty elevator Mulder turned to say something but his words were cut off before they left his mouth.
Caught off guard, the kiss was fast and intense and left Mulder breathless and reeling where he stood. His thoughts screamed in his head. Oh God help me, I'm never going to make it to my car. I'm not even going to get out of this box in one piece. I'm ...
A shrill chirp pulled him back from complete panic, though a slight tremble was evident in his hand as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. His eyes never left the composed face in front of him.
"Mulder." That's reassuring, he thought, at least my voice still works.
"Mulder, it's me. I wanted to remind you that we have that meeting Monday morning at nine thirty with the team from Forensics. Make sure Krycek remembers too okay? We want to go over this stuff once with everyone together."
"Yeah, sure thing. Have a good weekend and I'll see you Monday."
"You too Mulder."
Mulder shut off the phone, took a slow deep breath and looked into questioning eyes. "Scully asked me to remind you that we have a nine thirty meeting on Monday morning."
A half smile made its way across Alex Krycek's otherwise impassive face, closely followed by a quiet chuckle. "I'll keep it in mind." A slight lift of his head to re enforce the acknowledgement. His eyes searched out Mulder's for a brief moment before he spoke again. "Look, Mulder, if you're having second thoughts I - "
The door of the elevator opened onto the ground floor of the JEH. Agents moved in almost choreographed patterns, trying to finish up last minute details before the blessed break of the weekend. Exiting the elevator Mulder turned and looked back at Krycek.
"I'm ... I'm just ... I'm not ..." Oh great. I'm stuttering like a school kid on a first date. The perverse irony of that thought struck Mulder as comical but he stifled the urge to laugh and opted for the more direct approach. Pulling in a steadying breath he continued quietly, almost painstakingly. "Krycek ... Alex, listen, all the education in the world would have never prepared me for this... ah ... let's call it a *moment* shall we? I want this, at least I think I do, I'm just a little ..." Mulder paused and searched for exactly the right word to convey what he was thinking. Finding none, he let the empty air speak for him.
Krycek looked at Mulder and decided it was time to play hardball.
"Don't you think I know you're uncomfortable? I could apologize but I'm really not sorry. This whole thing has been building for so long it had to break sooner or later. You know I'm right. The fact that you didn't try to deck me means you weren't all that uncomfortable with the attention and everything it implied. You didn't stop me Mulder. As I recall it was just the opposite, you said you didn't want me to stop. Now make a choice and stick with it." Bam! Okay Mulder, it's in *your* court now.
Mulder looked at Krycek as if he were truly seeing him for the first time. He cast a fleeting, almost fearful glance around the entrance hall, but none of the other agents were paying the slightest bit of attention. Mulder relaxed, looked Krycek straight in the eyes and gave a nearly imperceptible nod of his head. Krycek caught the motion and thought, yes, get it set up now before he changes his mind.
"You know where I live ... go there. Don't go home first, don't stop to pick up pizza or anything else, just go to my place. At the very least we can try to work through this, one way or another. Go, I'll be right on your tail within five minutes. I have to go upstairs and tell them we're leaving. God forbid they not be made aware of your every move."
Mulder gave another nod, more decisive this time and offered what could almost pass as a smile. Krycek turned and walked confidently away; had he looked back he would have been somewhat startled by the fact that Mulder's eyes never left him.
Krycek quietly entered one of the back offices on the second floor. Before he spoke he surveyed the two men who were busy sorting through files and folders, trying to assign some semblance of order before the workday officially ended. The two desks in the office were covered in paperwork. Sticky notes adorned desk lights and telephones. It struck him as a fine example of organized chaos. The doorway into the side office was closed, so he couldn't see the little sanctuary of order and minimalism Dana Scully had set up next door to this paper jungle.
"Hey Krycek. What's up? Quitting time already? I hardly noticed." A young man with close cut dark hair, leaning over the desk closest to the door greeted him, voice tinged with good natured sarcasm while he offered up an honest smile.
"Yeah I know Brenton, it's a tough job but someone has to do it and apparently *you* drew the short one this week." The remark elicited a quick sharp laugh. "Mulder and I are out of here till Monday. Have a good weekend and tell the boss we've left, okay?"
"Okay, give me a minute and I'll be right out."
"Uh ... no, Mulder will be fine. He doesn't need cover."
"Excuse me?" Drawled the expensively suited blond haired young man by the file cabinets.
"What, hard of hearing Davis? I said he'll be fine."
"Really?" There was more humor than disbelief in Fairland Davis's honeyed southern voice.
Krycek closed his eyes and shook his head. Fuck, c'mon guys not now I'm in a hurry. "He'll be with me." Okay, he thought, let's hear it.
"Ohh." It wasn't so much the actual word that got Krycek, it was the way Davis said it. His tone made the solitary word long and suggestive and all too knowing.
"Oh gimme a break, will you? Just let him know." Krycek's voice was laced with something approaching but not quite reaching annoyance. He tried chewing back a smile but failed. A lopsided grin split his handsome features. If there's a God, He's going to let me out of this office without further conversation.
"Let me know *what*? I assume you're speaking about me," the tall broad shouldered man questioned as he came out from the side office, pulling the door closed behind him again, crossed to Davis's desk and sat down. Once seated, Christian Dubretsky looked up and patiently waited for an answer.
Shit, so much for blind faith in the unseen deity, thought Krycek. His grin turned to a tight sardonic smile. "Mulder's leaving for the weekend and there's no need for security cover. We're all set. I just wanted to let you know." Krycek said the words with mechanical ease but implored with his eyes ... please don't make a big thing out of this. The silent appeal, while duly noted and considered, had to be refused.
"We? You're saying 'we' as if you two were joined at the hip. Or am I just not hearing this correctly?" Dubretsky tactfully ignored the muffled laughter from opposite corners of the office. Krycek heard the concern in his supervisor's voice rather than seeing it in his weathered face.
"Yes, 'we'. Mulder and I. He'll be with me." Oh man here it comes, he thought, I can feel it.
"With you." Dubretsky's tone was a cool request for confirmation, not a request for clarification.
"Eh ... yeah. Look, I hate to cut and run but he's on his way to his car and I want to keep up with him." Nice phrasing, next time think before you speak and you won't walk yourself into that.
"Oh I'll just bet." A disembodied drawl from the direction of the file cabinets.
"I really would have been so disappointed if you hadn't said that." Krycek took refuge from Dubretsky's merciless gaze by returning Davis's banter, trying with only marginal success to keep the laughter out of his voice.
"Play nice children." Dubretsky's mild comment sounded harmless enough but Davis knew to back off and leave Krycek to converse quietly with his supervisor. Krycek sat on the corner of the desk and steeled himself for the inevitable. He didn't have to long wait.
"Listen up Alex because we're going to have this conversation one time and one time only. I don't want to know what you're up to so don't tell me. But I expect you to use your head and some caution. Don't back me into a corner on this; friendship aside, I'm still your supervisor. Don't force me to act like one on this particular matter. For both our sakes, use good judgement."
"I intend to." Krycek looked at Dubretsky, willing him to sense Krycek's own determination. I can make this come out right, given half a chance. He searched Dubretsky's face for some hint of acceptance and found it in a gray hazel gaze that stared right into him. A slight gentle smile of resignation that added more crinkling to the web work around the eyes. Krycek held the other man's look, made the silent promise necessary for Dubretsky's peace of mind. Dubretsky nodded, made a good humored gesture of dismissal.
"Go on, get out of here. And don't forget you're expected to go to -"
"The meeting on Monday morning. I won't." Krycek smiled his thanks, closed his eyes for a second and offered a quick silent apology. I take it back God, you're alright in my book. "Have a good weekend gentlemen." Krycek tossed the words to the other two men, then he was out the door and headed for the parking garage.
While Krycek was explaining his way out of the second floor office, Mulder was in the garage headed toward his car. He shrugged off his suit jacket and tossed it in the backseat, climbed in, made his six one frame as comfortable as possible and started the car. Deftly he eased out into the late afternoon traffic using his left hand to drive and his right hand to rummage through a box of tapes by the driver's side. He found one he recognized by the crack in the case rather than by looking at the title.
He slipped the tape into the deck and sank down a little lower in the driver's seat, needlessly adjusted the rear and side view mirrors and let the sound of a blues guitar provide the background music for his thoughts.
God I'm an asshole! Yeah but for which reason? Because I'm doing this or because I *want* to do this? Of course when you think about it, what difference does it make, either way I'm an asshole.
Do I really want to open myself up to this kind of pain again? Think of the so called relationships that have crashed and burned. Gay and straight. Why should this be any different? I clearly remember those empty little hand job sessions back in college, most of which only served to point out how young and stupid I was. The only good that came out of those was to let me know exactly which side of the fence I sat on and a lot of good that did me - shit, I ignored it anyway.
Oh yeah and let's not forget the meaningful mindfucks with Phoebe. This is not a good idea, I should just turn off and head home before I do something I'm going to seriously regret later. I should ... but I won't. There's just something about him. I didn't see it before ... okay ... I did but I ignored it. Tried to ignore it. Have I been sending out subliminal signals or something? I've tried to keep this so far under wraps I thought I'd need a backhoe to unearth it, and here he just up and starts with this shit!
What the hell was that all about anyway? That whole act in the office and then the elevator. Was he just yanking my chain or does he really want this to happen? If I had said 'no' what would his reaction have been? Would he have cared? What the hell am I doing? This isn't going to work. This shouldn't even happen.
Mulder caught his own reflection in the rear view mirror. His skin was flushed, his eyes were shining and as he watched the beginnings of a smile turned the corners of his mouth upward. He knew the reason and accepted it as gracefully as possible. Then he did the only thing he could do. He turned clinical on himself.
Okay, time to straighten up and fly right, he told himself severely. Stop screwing around and deal with this. Alex Krycek is a beautiful specimen of a man. You're attracted to him in ways you never dreamed possible; and you always have been. Before all of the shit you were attracted to him and as much as it sticks in your craw, you were attracted to him after all of the shit too. You just couldn't admit it and rightly so; you were too busy hating him for all you believed he had done and he was too busy trying to keep your ungrateful ass in one piece.
Remember how you felt when you first found out that juicy bit of information? The real feelings you had, after all of the anger and resentment and ingratitude. The hopeful prospect that you weren't completely crazy to feel the way you did about him, but you still didn't want to feel that way. Remember what it did to you? You almost came unglued it bugged you so bad. The truth will set you free but it'll also hurt like hell. Still you tried valiantly to ignore it, just like you're trying to now. So maybe it's time to recognize these feelings for what they are. Apparently Krycek already has.
So ... admit it. Right, I can do that. How tough is it? Just say it: 'I want him'. There I've admitted it to myself. First step of any twelve step program. It's out in the open. Okay not quite; nobody heard me so it probably doesn't count. I did admit it to myself though and that has to mean something. Screw it. I'm not going to feel guilty about this either. I've spent my life feeling guilty about one damn thing or another, and when if I couldn't find something, there was always someone else who could. Well, no more ...
Oblivious to everything but the music on the tapedeck and the voice in his head Mulder drove north through the Friday evening traffic. Twenty minutes later he pulled in across the street from Krycek's apartment building. Krycek didn't live in the greatest spot in town but Mulder had seen worse.
The amusement arcade on one side of the building was doing steady business, but the budget travel agent on the other was closed up for the evening. People drove by shooting icy glares at Mulder for sitting in a parked car while they frantically searched for a parking place to call their own. Tired of sitting and more than a little antsy, he got out to stretch his legs. He wandered across the street and stood on the entrance steps of the apartment building to watch the rest of the world hurry by around him.
Krycek was on the road within the promised five minutes. He let his thoughts wander while he drove north through the heavy traffic. I've got him and it's going to happen come hell or high water. I saw the look in his eyes. He wants this, I know it, I can feel it. I've always known that this would happen, right from the getgo. I've been thinking about this since the first time I saw him. He has too, he just couldn't admit that.
Not that I blame him or anything. It was an awfully bitter pill for him to swallow. Having felt that first attraction, and then thinking that I had betrayed him, that I was his enemy ... then having it all turned around again, suddenly I'm the good guy again. I think it was harder for him to accept me a second time. Scully still isn't convinced; she doesn't really trust me. I don't think she much likes me: Scully has black and white standards, I operate in the gray area too much for her liking. Gotta wonder how she's going to react to all of this. Krycek smiled at that thought and turned onto a side street and came face to face with a traffic jam.
Fuck ... now what?! No! Stupid ass trucker. Where are your fucking brains? No one backs *up* to get out of an alley. Oh Christ ... look at this mess. Mulder's gonna be sitting there waiting and talking himself right out of what he really wants to do and talking himself into something he feels is more palatable while I'm stuck in this nightmare. This is absolutely unacceptable, either it clears up in three minutes or I ditch the car and walk.
I have to take this slow for his sake. I know he hasn't had a relationship in a dog's age and I'm not even sure he's ever had one with another man. This could be difficult for him, he may not really want to admit to the attraction. That damned New England upbringing and all - no, strike that, it has nothing to do with where he grew up just how he grew up. I'll have to start with something slow, get him used to the idea, make him comfortable. Then nail him.
Finally the traffic began to crawl again and soon enough Krycek was turning down his street. He pulled in one car back from Mulder's parked car, into a freshly vacated space. He got out and walked up to the driver's side of Mulder's car, smiling, ready to say something humorous and encouraging. In the space of a heartbeat he lost the inviting thought that had been occupying his mind. The car was empty.
Krycek's eyes darted quickly up the street and back down. Too many people to get a clear sight. He slowly pulled himself back from the car with his gun hand close to his holster and tried to tamp down the rising panic. Shit! He's gone! Oh fuck where is he? I called off the tail myself. I said he'd be safe. Where the hell is he? How close could they have been? What was I ...
He cut off the rising panic, stopped to think for a second, pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. Please answer, please be at the corner store buying a paper, please be somewhere near but please answer the fucking phone! All it took was one ring and the sound of his voice to make Krycek's heart begin to slow down to a somewhat reasonable pace; for his mind to stop scrambling forwards into worse case scenarios.
Okay ... this is better, he sounds just fine. "Mulder where the fuck are you?"
"I'm pacing the hall in front of your - "
Krycek slapped the phone shut cutting off the rest of the sentence and took off across the street to his building. He took the short flight of steps two at a time and jammed the key into the lock so forcefully that it nearly snapped in half. He jerked the key to the right and pulled the door and his key simultaneously. He headed to the stairs and made the five stories in less time than it would have taken the antiquated elevator to descend to the first floor and open its heavy doors.
He reached the top of the stairs and saw Mulder across the landing wearing an imaginary path in front of Krycek's doorway. His head was down and Krycek swore he could almost hear him muttering. Krycek forced himself to walk at a normal pace to his door while he thought of various and sundry ways he would like to physically make Mulder understand the severity of his actions. He tossed Mulder a look that would freeze hell, unlocked his door and motioned for him to enter. Mulder stood before the open apartment door and unconsciously held his breath.
"Well ... don't stand on ceremony Mulder, go on in." Krycek calmly followed Mulder in and locked the door with the simple deadbolt. However as soon as he turned away from the door, all of his anger and fear seized his heart and head again. He moved with catlike agility and caught Mulder off guard. Krycek forced his back up against the wall, barely suppressed anger raging in him, grinding out his words in a slow hiss.
"Don't ever, ever, do that again Mulder! Never. Don't ever underestimate their ability or overestimate ours. What possessed you to get out? Couldn't you have just waited for a few minutes? Listened to the radio or something? Do you have any idea what went through my head when I pulled up behind your *empty* car and you were no where to be found? I thought they'd got to you, and I knew that if they had *I* was responsible, because that's the job I signed on for. I don't do guilt well, not at all, and I'll be damned if I'm going to start trying to learn it now just because of you! How the fuck did you get up here?"
Krycek abruptly released his tight grip on Mulder's coat and shoulders and waited for the defiant response. Mulder didn't move a centimeter from his spot. Krycek listened to the shallow breathing and took a good look at the muddy hazel eyes. What he saw was real fear, it shook him hard and he tried to regain his control of the situation.
Oh fuck, this is no good. We're heading into the same argument we have in the office, but Mulder doesn't have his work persona to protect him. I started this, I asked him here, he trusted me enough to come here. Now look, he's got that 'deer in the headlight' look. This is not how I wanted tonight to go. Gotta treat him with kid gloves, he's right on the edge and nothing more than a breath is going to send him over. No sense in scaring him to death.
"You didn't answer me. How did you get up here?"
Krycek changed his tone, softened the edge to it, quieted the words down. He made them a little more caring, a little more feeling, less angry, less frustrated. Mulder looked at him with wary narrow eyes. Unsure of how to proceed, he spoke in a hushed halting voice.
"One of your neighbors offered to let me in ... this isn't exactly a high security building you know. I'm sorry, I didn't think. I'm still not used to it making a difference, where I am, who I'm with and all that. I'm really sorry." The softly spoken words echoed with true contrition. Krycek looked at him and something in his own intense gaze softened, he shook his head slightly in a show of mild exasperation. Damn it, when will you understand? He questioned with his eyes instead of words knowing he wouldn't get an answer.
"It always mattered. Even when it didn't show."
Mulder dipped his head in mute comprehension.
"You just need to get used to being the center of attention, that's all."
"I guess so." Mulder's soft chuckle was a welcome sound.
"Alright, crisis over, no more meltdowns tonight. At least not like that, okay?" A measured beat. Krycek couldn't resist tossing in the double entendre, just to be sure Mulder was paying attention. "You want a beer Mulder?"
"Yeah I could go for that right now." Quiet and shaky, more breath than voice. Mulder was indeed paying attention.
"Well you know where the fridge is, help yourself. I just want to check messages."
Mulder made his way into the small narrow kitchen. The bright white of the ceiling and woodwork accented the pale sea green of the freshly painted walls. He opened the refrigerator door and was surprised to see fresh food inside. Real food, not something that came from the Chinese restaurant across the street. Sliced deli meat and cheese, bread, milk and eggs. The six pack of beer was on the bottom shelf nestled next to the head of lettuce.
Grabbing two bottles and foregoing glassware Mulder walked out of the kitchen down the tiny hallway into the living room, which wasn't a good deal larger than the kitchen. Mulder stepped around the low, plain glass topped coffee table, dropped down onto the low deep comfortable couch and considered the enormous patchwork quilt that covered its plain calico upholstery. Staring at, but not truly seeing, the many shades of blue, green and rust. He leaned his head back, closed his eyes and let his mind wander.
Okay, you're here. What's it going to be? You can back out. He'll no doubt be really pissed but you can still stop this whole thing before it goes too far. He said to come here so 'we could work through this thing', exact quote. That doesn't necessarily mean ... oh you idiot, of course it does, what else would it mean? You played this out scene for scene on the trip over here. Just let it happen and be done with it. You know this is what you want. Stop hiding.
"Are you going to let me have one of those or do you think you might need them both?" A gentle question, asked in a soft voice.
Mulder opened his eyes and looked up at Krycek standing right in front of him. This Krycek was more relaxed than the one he had seen a few minutes before. Gone were the tie and jacket as well as the shoulder holster and gun. Shirt sleeves rolled to just below the elbow to expose the tanned skin of his wrists and forearms, dark silky hair on the outer sides, a map of veins and tendons that stood out in relief against the inner sides. Loose fitting suit pants covered his long powerful legs.
Mulder's gaze traveled up the hidden rock hard muscles of abdomen and pectorals to the exposed skin of Krycek's neck just inside the collar of the silver gray dress shirt. He saw the notch at the base of the throat and off to the side, known without being seen, the pulse that beat the rhythm of his heart.
Mulder allowed himself to scan Krycek's face, to take in the finely molded features: small short nose, high cheekbones, sharp chin. Mouth cut into his face with such careful precision, lips, which when parted allowed a glimpse of even white teeth and a soft dusty red tongue. Close cut dark mahogany hair that covered yet outlined his skull. Quite a package when it was all put together. Mulder finally allowed himself to look at the eyes.
The things those eyes had seen. Seen others looking back at him and recognize the certainty of their own deaths. Seen the last flares of fear or defiance or acceptance. Those eyes had watched him once, with an alien gaze. Deep clear aquamarine kaleidoscope eyes. Long black lashes, finely arched brows, and oh sweet Jesus, they're focused on me again. This time the look was all too human.
A slow tentative smile spread over Mulder's lips as he silently handed off one of the bottles. A matching one worked its way over Krycek's as he accepted the offering and sat down on the couch. "So ... you want to talk about this?" Mulder voice was steady and quiet.
"We can, but I really think we both know why we're sitting here. The ball's in your court Mulder, I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. That's not my idea of fun. It has to come from you; I already know where I stand, what I want, who I want."
"I need to know something Alex. Why did you pull that stunt in the office today? I mean, why today?"
"Why not today? Would Monday have been better? Maybe a phone call over the weekend?" Krycek's soft laughter broke Mulder's tense concentration, made him smile very faintly too. "To answer your question, I don't know 'why today'? It just seemed like a good time. In all honesty, you looked good, really good. Usually I have more self control. Today I didn't want to have self control. Do you want me to describe to you in vivid detail what I wanted to do to you in that office?" The question was asked with a straight face but laughing eyes.
"No..." Mulder's refusal was a wide eyed shivering breath.
For a moment they sat on that deep low couch facing each other in electrically charged silence. Neither one dared to break the stare. Neither one was sure of what to say next. Mulder dug a fingernail at the slick cold paper label of the beer bottle. He lowered his eyes, looked back at Krycek and made his choice.
"I want you to show me."
"Say it again Mulder. I want you to be absolutely sure because I know I am." Oh yeah ... let me hear those words again.
Mulder shifted from his spot and leaned toward Krycek. "I said 'I want you to show me'." Stop shaking damn it, he can hear it in your voice, keep going, get it all out before you change your mind.
"Shit, Alex, I don't know a great deal about this kind of relationship. The best I ever did with a man was a few quick and clumsy hand jobs when I was in college. They weren't the most satisfying experiences I've ever had but they were enough to make me wonder about myself. To be honest, I'd been wondering about myself for a while, even before then. I wasn't ready to deal with it, so I chose to ignore it ... I had to ignore it. If that had gotten back home ... Jesus what a little horror show that would have been: one more thing, yet another reason for them to hate me. Instead I got into a hideously warped relationship with a woman and after her I didn't care if I ever had a lover again ... male or female. This is a whole different ball game for me. I'm a little nervous."
Krycek was listening to Mulder, not so much to the words - he knew far more about Mulder's past than Mulder realized; he was listening to what could only be described as raw pain in the sound of his quiet faltering voice. It was the voice of someone coming to grips with private demons and baring them to the light, admitting to the hurt, the insecurity and personal anguish.
It must have been living hell, Krycek silently conceded. All of that uncertainty and no one to talk to. Questions that demanded answers and no one to give them. The very people you needed to give you support were the ones you couldn't turn to: they blamed you for their own sins, blamed you for becoming what they made you. And in the middle of it all, you were trying to make sense of something as ephemeral as your own sexuality. All that emptiness and loneliness. The misguided notion that you would be better off alone rather than let anyone near you again because the pain was just too much to endure.
"Okay, it's okay now. I'm not asking you to forget; I don't think you can, it's a part of you. I'm asking you to take just one more chance." Krycek, almost intoxicated by the heady sense of Mulder's vulnerability, hardly lifted his husky voice above a whisper. But the intensity in his eyes captured Mulder and very nearly hypnotized him. Mulder was lulled by the serene calm sea shades of green and blue; his lips parted for a moment as if to speak then closed again, sealing any sound inside before it escaped. Krycek took the bottle from Mulder's hands and placed it on the table alongside his own. Tentatively he leaned forward and lightly touched the sensitive skin outlining Mulder's mouth with the ball of his finger. He felt the warm moist breath as it was exhaled. He drew slow lazy circles over and around the lips and saw them part at his touch.
"Sshh, no words," he whispered laying his fingers momentarily over Mulder's lips. Just let me touch you like this, soft and slow. I won't hurt you, not like the others did. I won't laugh at your insecurities. I won't rip your heart out and hand it to you still beating; and as much, as much as I would dearly love to, I won't push you.
Mesmerized, Mulder felt heat flare into existence not only at the exquisite touch of Krycek's tapered fingers, but at the promise of things to come. He could do nothing to stop his eyes from closing, revelling in the ethereal touch. A thumb and forefinger hooked onto Mulder's chin, dragging gently down, parting his lips even more. The featherlike caress around his mouth was having an almost narcotic effect on him; his eyes opened but he couldn't quite will them to focus.
Krycek leaned in even more and placed his lips at the corner of Mulder's mouth. He repeated the kiss on the other corner and pulled back slightly to look for some kind of approbation. Finding what he needed in the lazy eyes, he continued to lay soft warm kisses about the tender skin. Finally when he could stand it no longer, he trapped the full lipped mouth with his own. Oh God, the elevator was just a tease but oh yes, this one was worth waiting for - as if there had been any doubt. Mulder you do taste as good as you look.
Krycek's kiss was as light as his touch. His lips were cool but warmed quickly and plied just enough pressure to make an impact. He slowly pulled and nipped at the parted lips. He stroked them with his tongue and turned them slick. He slid his tongue into the waiting mouth and instantly fell in love with the feel of it, the taste of it. He wanted to memorize it for all time. He roamed every corner and crevice of that mouth, sliding along teeth and tongue and cheek. He was thorough in his kiss: he wanted in some way to own this mouth, he wanted Mulder to remember this kiss, to compare all others with it. He left his soul in there. He brought his hands up to caress the sides of Mulder's face as if to smooth away whatever fear may have still been lingering and thought, relax baby, it's going to be just fine.
Time as Mulder knew and understood it stood still. His breathing stopped; not in fear as was normally the case throughout most of his life but in awe. The fascination that Krycek's mouth felt so good so right and fit so well over his own. This kiss was different from the harsh one in the elevator: more restrained, softer, sweeter. He had never kissed a man before today. He had never wanted to, even at the height of his experimentation. The feel of Krycek's tongue was more potent than he had expected, not overpowering, but somehow stronger. A kind of reticent force. Mulder started to breath again, let himself sink into the warmth that was starting to envelop him. He felt a smile play over his tingling lips. Alex has a romantic side, who would have guessed?
Krycek felt the subtle difference and reluctantly broke the kiss. He looked at Mulder, saw how the haunted look that generally inhabited those hazel eyes was missing, replaced by a kind of amused serenity. It surprised as well as pleased him. Well what do you know ... I did that. A genuine smile lit up his finely sculpted features.
"Okay?" He asked so much with one quiet word, waited for what seemed a lifetime for an answer. Come on, you've got to tell me, he thought. We'll do this nice and slow. Step by step, even if it takes all night. And I sincerely hope it does.
"Yeah ... okay." Mulder seemed genuinely surprised that he could breathe, much less form and speak rational words. Krycek stood up and extended his hand. Mulder looked from the open palm to Krycek's face and back. "What?" Oh shit, he thought, you're an Oxford grad for God's sake, what kind of stupid question was that?
"Well I know you're used to sleeping on a couch and as comfortable as that couch is ... I think we should move this conversation to the bedroom. Come on, it's time you started to learn about the finer things in life. Like beds."
Mulder summoned up every ounce of courage and placed his hand in the open palm. Time to cross the bridge. Krycek pulled him up onto his feet. They walked in silence to the bedroom, stopping only once for another kiss. Krycek needed that kiss. He needed to taste again that mouth he had tasted only a few minutes before; he needed to know it was real, that the memory of it was accurate. It was.
This kiss rocked them both. It was deeper harder almost bruising in its force, strong fingers entwined each other palm to palm, arms lifting. Krycek pinned Mulder against the hallway wall and instinctively leaned in, craving a touch that could be only dimly had through the layers of clothing they both wore. He ground his pelvis into Mulder's, then suddenly backed off. I can't do this, I can't scare him, he thought.
Not yet, but soon. Identical thoughts paved the way for opposite reactions. Their eyes locked once more. One set flashed brightly with excited apprehension, the other gleamed with greedy anticipation.
He's so scared and I want him so badly it's criminal. God help me to have the strength to do this right, to make it good for him, to make him want it again and again. Don't let me hurt him, because I know I can, and I'm afraid that maybe I want to.
Mulder's thoughts were more pedestrian. Just keep breathing, no sense in passing out before you get to the good parts.
Krycek broke contact first and gently pulled Mulder into the bedroom then stood a few feet behind him, just soaking up the sight of Fox Mulder standing in his bedroom. Mulder was struck by the size of the room, it was almost twice the space of the living room. The walls, woodwork and curtains were all white; the usual furniture: plain oak wardrobe and chest of drawers, a good sized set of bookshelves, boxes of books that had yet to be placed, a low table, and a low bed. Oddly low, covered by a quilt with a blue and white striped ticking cover.
"Why is your bed so damn low? Your knees must be up around your chin when you sit down." Mulder turned slightly to look back at Krycek.
"It has its advantages." Krycek's finely arched left eyebrow reached a higher level. His cool mouth fought a losing battle not to smirk.
He allowed his thoughts the pleasure of wandering away for a moment. Want me to show you why it's so low? I'll bet I can have you begging in no time, with me on my knees and you right in front of me bent ... Krycek snapped a leash on his runaway thoughts.
While the apparent usefulness of a low bed was lost on Mulder the tone Krycek had used was not. A small shiver ran through his body. He felt Krycek step close behind him, didn't even have to turn his head to know. He could smell the soap Krycek used, the cologne ... was it cologne or was it just *him*? A faint almond scent. Another shiver that couldn't be suppressed this time, racking him delicately from head to foot.
"You alright?" Krycek's warm breath tickled his ear and was lost before Mulder had the chance to truly enjoy the sensation.
"Yeah, I'm fine." If I could just stop shaking, he thought. He started to turn, to face Krycek, but the motion was stopped before it was fully played through.
"No ... stay like that." Krycek's words were quiet in Mulder's ear. He felt the warm breath caress the skin on his nape raising the fine hairs. More shivers. Long elegant fingers snaked around Mulder's neck then slid down his chest to find the flat nipples. Mulder made a small noise somewhere in the back of his throat and brought his hands up to cover Krycek's.
"No, put them down. I want to do this my way." The words were somewhere between a request and an order, tickled at the edges of Mulder's mind. Mulder dropped his hands to his side and clenched his fists tightly in an effort to keep them still.
Krycek's hands moved back to the shirt front again. He knew he had hit his mark when he heard Mulder's breathing change, catching in his throat. He used petal soft touches to bring both nipples to life under the two layers of cotton clothing. He pinched and stroked until Mulder arched forward to meet his touch. Good, good, you like that, don't you? Let's see what else you like.
Krycek's fingers strayed back to up to the collar to return to the task they had started almost an hour ago in the office. Slowly they trailed down the front of the placket popping the buttons through the holes, one by one. Through it all Krycek kissed and sucked the skin on the left side of Mulder's exposed neck. Every other button he stopped and reached up with his teeth to trap the earlobe. He used light nips with teasing flicks in and around the ear then moved back down to the soft warm skin of Mulder's neck once again.
Delicious warm tingling sensations flooded Mulder's body and he felt his cock start to swell. He started to relax and leaned back against the strong warm shoulder that shadowed his own. He tipped his head to the side and was rewarded with more electric sensations as the cool insatiable mouth lowered into the space between the neck and shoulder and left wet warm kisses in its wake.
When he reached the waistband of the light woolen trousers Krycek stopped and pulled Mulder around to face him. Never breaking eye contact, his hands slowly tugged the shirt front from the trousers and continued to unbutton it. A few stray threads tangled around the lowest button, catching and holding it firmly in place.
"Shit, it's stuck," Krycek cursed softly then smiled. It wasn't the words that compelled Mulder to notice what was happening but the look in Krycek's eyes. He saw a hard edge in them that hadn't been there before. His body coiled slightly as he waited for the unknown.
"Mulder, do you send your shirts out to a laundry with a seamstress?" Krycek's long slender fingers were taking up a fold at each side of the offending button.
"Yeah ... why?" Mulder was getting utterly confused.
"I just wanted to make sure you had someone who would take care of this." Krycek yanked both sides of the shirt front apart hard and fast. The button flew to parts unknown. Well, it's unbuttoned now, Krycek thought. Let's see what kind of damage I did to him.
Mulder had flinched and sucked in a quick breath through clenched teeth. Now he stared at Krycek with a mixture of not quite alarm and very definite desire. The heat in his balls and cock ignited a fire that had been dormant for too long. He felt it course through his body, raise a blush to his cheeks and then re center itself back in his groin. His eyes widened, the hair on the back of his neck prickled and his heart couldn't keep a proper rhythm. He looked at Krycek with mute surprise.
"Sorry," Krycek said, though it wasn't clear whether he was apologizing for the damage to Mulder's shirt or to Mulder's composure. You are not sorry, he told himself, but you should be.
"Don't be." Mulder's voice was a ragged whisper. I liked it, he silently added, more than I should. A little danger is good for the soul and you are certainly more than a little dangerous.
Krycek acknowledged the remark with a cocked brow and tucked it away for later use. He pushed the shirt off Mulder's shoulders, drew it down over his arms and let it glide onto the floor in a puddle of white cotton. He saw the rise and fall of the lightly muscled chest, took in the sight of small hard nipples perfectly molded under the soft cotton t shirt. His eyes trailed down the plane of the tight abdomen and saw the start of what could only be a beautiful erection. Oh yes, look at that. Bet it's good enough to eat. Krycek couldn't help but smile.
Mulder watched Krycek watch him. He wanted to speak but found no words to say. He let his body speak in his place as he felt his erection grow stronger. He slowly raised his arms to touch the finely honed face before him only to have his hands gently held back.
"Uh uh ... not yet. Let's get some more of your clothes off first."
"It would go a lot faster if you let me help."
"You're right, it would. But it wouldn't be nearly as much fun. If you feel like doing something, kick off your shoes and socks. By the time I get your pants down I'm not really going to care what's on your feet. Then try to behave and keep your hands to yourself."
Mulder toed off his shoes then stopped while bone chilling insecurities reared their ugly heads. This is it. Can I handle this? It's been a long time. It's been forever. Am I ready for this?
Darker thoughts gathered like thunderheads. Can I trust him? And if I can't then what the hell am I doing here? I've never been able to think straight around him, what makes this any different? Good guy, bad guy, it's all the same with him, you never know what the hell he's up to.
Doubt crept in and washed away all emotions except fear and self loathing. Why does he want this? Why me? After all that I've said and done? Dubretsky said it himself, Alex is a born operative: he never forgets and he never forgives and he can carry a grudge forever. I can't do this. It isn't going to work. It'll blow up in my face. And I just don't think I could take that again.
Mulder walked the fine edge of the abyss that held his past pains, felt despair as the ground slipped under his feet. Krycek was paying enough attention to see how his breathing had changed, shallower and quicker now. And the terrible sadness in the flat eyes.
Oh shit, Krycek silently swore. What happened? What did I do? He's not even in there. He's a thousand miles away. "Hey! Talk to me, tell me what's wrong. C'mon, talk to me." Krycek spoke softly while apprehension laid a thick foundation in his own mind. I scared him. I must have, what else could it be? What the hell did I do?
Mulder heard the quiet voice under the louder one that screamed in his head. Alex's voice, all husky and scratchy; like the finest of sandpaper on old hardwood. It was soothing and warm. A lifeline tossed to him before he drowned in his own paranoia.
"Hey. Come on ... what is it?"
Mulder felt the clasp of hands on his shoulders and he came back from the edge. Instead of staring into the past he was staring into the clear blue green glass chips of Alex Krycek's eyes.
"Jesus, where were you?"
"I'm sorry. I'm okay. I was just thinking about something." He gave a sad smile and a slight shake of his head.
"Yeah well ... don't! Whatever it is, try not to think about it again, okay?" Krycek was speaking from the opposite shore of life. A man who centered his life in simple pragmatic choices, never burdened himself with anything as useless as regret, let alone guilt or self loathing.
"Stop apologizing. Are you sure you're alright with this?" Krycek bringing his usual light efficient practicality to bear on Mulder's convoluted problems. "We don't ... " Krycek broke off mid sentence. He knew he should finish it, he knew he should give Mulder a way out, he just couldn't say the rest. He was afraid Mulder would actually take him up on the offer and he just didn't know if he could bear that. He didn't want to stop now, not after he had tasted that mouth and saw how that body reacted to his touch.
Mulder drew his hands up and this time there was no resistance. Gently he cupped the high cheekbones of Krycek's face and kissed him. Not a deep kiss, not even a long one. A kiss that said 'thanks, but no thanks'.
"Yeah, I'm fine now. It was just the same old stuff biting me in the ass." Mulder's reward was a smile. Not a smirk but a genuine unguarded smile, opening up those usually so shielded features.
"So when can I bite you in the ass, Mulder?"
Mulder snicked out a short almost soundless laugh. Krycek's ease in dismissing Mulder's dark thoughts made Mulder wonder if he couldn't treat them with the same high handed disregard. Bolstered and emboldened he leaned back in and kissed Krycek again. An intense, long, slow, hot, search every bit of his mouth kind of kiss. It was sweet and intoxicating. It wasn't enough, he wanted more. He slid his hands from Krycek's face to the back of his head and smoothed the short hair. He felt the shape of Krycek's skull under his fingers. He held fast to it not giving it an inch to move and deepened the kiss, devouring that mouth.
Through it all, he felt the cock that was in front of him rise. He moved his body to meet the hard ridge with his own hardness and sucked in a gasp from Krycek. It felt good knowing he could do that, knowing he could excite him like that. This could work, he thought. He brought his hands down the taut shoulders and felt muscles ripple fluidly under his fingers as Krycek slipped his arms down around Mulder's waist and pressed against him in a tight embrace.
Mulder changed tack and drew his hands off Krycek's shoulders, slipped them under his arms, let his fingers roam the broad expanse of back. The muscles were hard and unyielding. He slid his hands down over the curve of Krycek's ass and held them there, softly kneading the flesh under the roughness of the trousers. He felt Krycek stiffen even more. He can have the game but I get this inning, thought Mulder, as he abruptly stopped.
Krycek stifled a sound that was the cross between a sigh and a moan. He looked at Mulder, eyes silently entreating. Why are you stopping?
"Sorry ... I wasn't supposed to use my hands, was I?" Mulder innocently questioned.
Not only is he back but he's better than ever, Krycek mentally congratulated himself. He's turning into a regular cocktease. Oh yes this has the hallmarks of being lots of fun. Hope he can take it as good as he can give it. Krycek's eyes darkened and narrowed in wicked anticipation. "I think I've changed my mind. Use them, use them all you want, and please do it now." His voice a mixture of mirth and longing.
Mulder blushed, looked away. Oh shit, what did I expect? Now what? He seems to know a lot more about this than I do. Where do I start? I don't want this to be like the other times with men. I want this to mean something. It has to because I don't think I want to just walk away from him afterwards.
Krycek touched Mulder's chin and gently pulled his face back to look him in the eyes. They weren't flat like before, no storm clouds brewing but there was something in them that spelled a different kind of fear. Ahh, I know what this is about, he silently addressed Mulder. Uh uh, you can't back out because of inexperience. I'll teach you what you need to know. I'll do it with great pleasure.
"Hey, relax baby. We've got all night to find out what feels good. Don't worry about a thing. Okay?" Seductive words, gently whispered through a smile.
Mulder nodded, listening but not really hearing the words. He was paying much more attention to the mouth that spoke them, remembering how good that mouth felt against the skin of his neck, how it sucked and kissed with reckless abandon. Remembering how it covered his own mouth, how it gave yet stole life sustaining breath. He caught only fragments here and there ... relax ... feels good ... night ... baby ... baby!? Oh my God. A surge of warmth started below waist level and traveled north to his cheeks. He didn't ...
"What did you call me?"
The man before him laughed softly and pulled him into a comfortably tight embrace. Kissing the side of his neck Krycek whispered, "I called you 'baby'. Does that bother you?" His tongue slid out and stroked Mulder's ear eliciting a sharp intake of air. He continued without waiting for an answer. "I like the idea of calling you baby. It feels great on my tongue, slips off easily and sounds really good when I hear it hang in the air. Does it bother you that much?" This time he waited for a response.
Lost in the heat of Krycek's mouth working its particular brand of magic on his sensitive spots, Mulder could do no more than sigh the words "No, I guess not".
"Good, I'm glad that's settled. Let's get something else straight here and now. Pay attention." Krycek straightened up to look in the sleepy hazel eyes in front of him and continued. "I'm not going to call you Mulder either. Not here, not in the privacy of my own place and certainly not in my bed. So you better get used to hearing 'Fox', too."
Mulder frowned and looked away.
"Oh no, don't you dare turn away from me. Don't put that fucking wall up, not here, not now. Look at me." Krycek's voice turned hard and demanding.
Mulder froze. His stomach did a peculiar flip then found a spot halfway between his heart and mouth. His eyes lifted reluctantly, giving only a flat narrow stare. Shit, thought Krycek. I'm not going to fight over something as stupid as this. I just want to get him in bed. But I can't back down now; I don't want him thinking he can get his own way with me. Okay, let's try a different attack. He lowered his voice, made it soft and persuasive.
"You may have a problem with your name, but I don't. Just think about it for a minute. Imagine me screaming 'Fox', right while I'm coming. Hard. Wouldn't that give a whole new spin to it?" Krycek emphasized and tempered all of the right words to get Mulder's attention.
Mulder's narrowed eyes widened, while a blush warmed his cheeks. Images of Alex bathed in moonlight and sweat, right on the brink, arching his body, writhing and clawing at him, at the bedclothes ... panting, whispering, screaming his name. It could have serious possibilities when used like that. The small beginnings of a smile turned up the corners of his mouth.
Krycek watched the warm glow and accompanying smile spread over Mulder's face and knew he had won. "I know you have bad memories associated with your name. Let me give you some new memories; good ones, hot ones. I can make you love your name. Just give me the chance."
"It doesn't really matter whether I say yes or no does it?" Asked Mulder, realization dawning. You've always gotten your own way somehow.
"No, not really. But it would be nice if you said yes," Krycek answered honestly.
Mulder nodded his head, sighed ruefully.
"Good, I win. Now get your shirt off before I send it the way of that last button." Krycek felt the way Mulder's breath caught for a split second, how doubt clouded his eyes again. "Hey relax ... one step at a time ... nothing more." Krycek's quiet words were a balm to all of Mulder's misgivings.
Mulder crossed his arms in front of himself, grasped the hem of his t shirt and pulled it over his head. Krycek watched the muscles of that toned body move with ballet style and grace. He was fascinated that the mere physical act of removing a simple garment had turned into an erotic performance. And I'll bet next week's pay he doesn't even know he's doing it. Krycek smiled with unabashed appreciation. Mulder dropped the shirt on the floor, looked up at Krycek and saw the smile.
"Liar." Mulder scowled at him, but Krycek took no notice, he was busy with other thoughts. He burned the sight of Mulder's bare torso into his memory for safekeeping. He had seen it before but he never allowed himself the pleasure of truly looking at it. Nothing more than a few sidelong glances; stolen moments when he was sure he wouldn't be noticed. This was better by far.
His eyes moved slowly over the patch of brown hair that feathered out to golden down on the plains of the lightly muscled chest, then to the tawny brown color of the hardened nipples, up to the fully defined collarbones and finally to the scar on the left shoulder. He briefly relived the memory of that long ago night. The night Scully shot her partner in an effort to prevent him from making a serious mistake. Saving Krycek's life into the bargain, though he knew that had been a very minor consideration as far as Scully was concerned. There was no doubt, he and Mulder certainly shared 'history'.
Scully didn't really trust him even now; he doubted that she ever would. He didn't want to think about whether Mulder did or not. It was enough that he be allowed this far into that solitary life. Krycek knew not to ask questions if he didn't want to hear the answers.
Krycek opened his arms as Mulder started to move toward him. The cotton of his shirt clung to his skin. When did I start to sweat, he thought idly. Mulder closed the small space between them until his sensitized skin felt the texture of Krycek's shirt. He inhaled the now familiar scent of soap mixed with that faint almond tang and felt the heat of Krycek's body through his clothes. Felt the erection that was not quite hidden in the folds of the woolen trousers.
"Alex, you've got on way too many clothes and I'm starting to feel as if I'm on display. Don't you think we can even up the odds a bit now?" Mulder's voice was warm and husky, his eyes darkened. The evening light was failing, shadows playing over his features, shielding yet exposing him.
"No problem." Krycek backed up a step.
Before Mulder had a chance to react or even attempt to help, Krycek, in one swift move, pulled his dress shirt and t shirt together over his head and off his arms. He tossed them to his left and they landed in a heap by the foot of the bed. His eyes caught Mulder's and he waited. He knew what was coming.
Mulder's breath stopped in his throat as his eyes were instantly drawn to the angry scars that marred Krycek's skin. Two were on the side of his ribcage, one just off to the side of his breastbone visible against the smooth brown hair and the last further down to the side of his waist. The scars were from bullets. Bullets that were meant for me. He took them instead. He didn't even think twice about it. Mulder fought a losing battle with his memory.
He saw himself coming out of his apartment building and Krycek running towards him yelling something at him. The brief glimpse of another man with a gun before he felt the pain as the bullet lanced his forearm.
His eyes burned with the pictures that his mind would not stop replaying. He remembered Krycek's solid weight against his body pinning him to the building wall. He could almost feel the impact once again of the two bullets as they buried themselves in the mass of flesh and muscle that protected his own. Another two spinning Krycek away from him, against the wall. The drained pallor of Krycek's face, eyes wide and staring at nothing. Mulder closed his eyes in an effort to erase the sights. Krycek couldn't stand it any longer.
"Fuck it! It's *over* okay. It happened and now it's over. I did my job, and I don't regret it. Let it go. I'm standing in front of you right now, a little worse for wear but *all* of the parts still work. Wanna see?" Krycek shot his very best leer in an effort to pull Mulder back from the edge of depression. Mulder tried to smile but failed. "Damn it come on! It doesn't matter, none of it matters. Do you want to know what matters Fox?" Krycek's voice dropped to a husky whisper. "This matters." He moved in to close the chasm between them and softly cupped Mulder's blossoming erection through his trousers. Mulder groaned and allowed his eyes to slip shut. "This is what's important right now. It tells me you want this as much as I do." Krycek stroked the hardened cock and looked into Mulder's darkened eyes. "We've tap danced around this long enough. I want to see you and taste you and make you come until you have nothing left to give me. Then I want to do it all over again. I want to wear you out Fox. What do you say?"
Mulder heard more emotion in that always expressive voice than he ever had before. He smiled this time and kissed the cool mouth that hovered close to his own. "What do I get to do for you?" The question was raw, a little worried.
"You get to enjoy it. That's all I want right now." Let's not try to make this equal tonight. I'll get so much pleasure out of watching you come. Just that sight alone will make all of this hedging around it worthwhile to me.
Mulder looked down to see his own belt buckle in Krycek's hands. He was waiting for a sign that he could continue. Mulder gave a shaky nod of his head and Krycek's long tapered fingers went to work on the belt clasp and zipper. He slipped his palms in the waistband of the shorts and trousers and skinned them down Mulder's long lean flanks, marveling at the soft warm texture of the skin. He hunkered down and tapped the strong calves, motioning for Mulder to lift one foot then the other as the trousers and shorts were tossed to another part of the room.
Krycek drew in a soft breath and stared in stark admiration at the lean body in front of him. Perfect form and grace. Muscular but not muscle bound. His eyes moved slowly up until he saw the unrestrained hardened cock. His lips parted without his knowledge and his tongue snaked out to wet them. There is no question, I have to taste him right now. Just a taste, no more than that. He looked up at Mulder and saw that his eyes were open and focused on his every move. Watch this, he thought, as he slid to his knees and fixed his mouth to envelop the warm satiny cock that stood at attention before him. His hands rested lightly on the cooling skin of Mulder's hips. Not really holding him still, just resting there, while his talented mouth went to work.
What the hell?! Mulder jerked, froze. What are you ... oh my God! Oh Jesus Christ I don't think I can take this. Damn, I should have known your mouth was capable of this. Your kisses should have been the clue. Oh God, I'm going to go out of my mind. Mulder watched as Krycek's mouth tried to swallow him whole and wondered how much time he had left as a somewhat sane man.
Oh yes, thought Krycek. Now we're getting somewhere and he tastes so good. Krycek worked his tongue around the tip nibbling and licking the tender skin on the underside. His right hand moved from the silky skin of Mulder's hip to caress the now heavy sac of his balls. He sucked and pulled with his mouth all the while listening to Mulder's breathing. It had that sweet ragged quality to it. Krycek lost himself in the taste and texture of the hardened shaft. Crinkly coarse brown hairs tickled his nose and he inhaled deeply the sharp scent of musk. He never caught the warning; the subtle shift in Mulder's breathing that signified the change coursing through his body.
What he heard was a strangled gasp and felt hands fly to his head. Oh no you don't! Without missing a lick he let go of the sac and grabbed hold of both the offending hands and held them at bay while his mouth sucked and nipped at the tender skin by the engorged balls.
"Jesus! Alex, no ... I can't ... I can't physically stand up while you do this, I can't hold still ... please Alex, please just stop for a second."
Krycek heard the panic in Mulder's voice and felt the tremors in his legs. He reasoned it probably had been a while since anyone had done this to Mulder, no matter what the position. He delicately sucked one ball into his mouth and released it. Heard a choked groan from the depths of Mulder's throat. To Krycek it was the voice of angels.
He looked up at Mulder and licked his lips. "Well, you told me to stop." Krycek got up and pulled Mulder close to him. He could feel the shivers running through Mulder's body and basked in the knowledge that he alone was responsible for that reaction.
"You alright?" Concern washed over his fine porcelain features as he pulled back for a closer look. He saw bright hazel eyes and the flushed cheeks, and thought, you look great anyhow. "God yeah, I'm fine." The answer came in the form of a barely audible rasping whisper.
"You want more?" As if I didn't know the answer to that one already.
"Yes, please, but don't make me stand. I don't think I can take it like that."
Please?! Oh I like that Fox ... I wonder what else I could get you to say 'please' to, Krycek silently questioned. "OK, you can't stand. How about laying down, can you do that?"
Mulder nodded his agreement and looked down.
"Don't you think it's time you got those pants off?"
"These? Sure ... no problem ... want to help?" Krycek smiled. Mulder stepped forward to fiddle with the belt clasp and zipper.
"Careful," Krycek whispered. Mulder looked at Krycek and saw a sparkle in the blue green glass of his eyes. There was a smile fighting its way to the surface. Something was up and it wasn't just the obvious.
Mulder undid the belt, the button and the zipper and slid his hands inside and felt ... skin? What the hell? He pushed the trousers down Krycek's slim hips and watched as they slid over the muscular thighs and pooled in a dark gray lump at his ankles. Oh my god! He doesn't wear shorts or ... anything! Krycek unceremoniously kicked the trousers off his ankles and used his foot to jettison them out of his way. Mulder looked back up at Krycek in complete shock.
"Well you were bound to find out sooner or later."
"Oh Jesus Alex..."
"Don't worry, I make sure my pants are dark enough and the fabric is heavy enough to hide a multitude of sins. Learn something new everyday, don't you Mulder?"
Mulder just stared. The phrase 'sex on legs' was spinning giddily in his brain. For everyone else, sex was something that had to be fitted in around more prosaic elements of life. For Alex Krycek it was some kind of incense smoke that perfumed everything he did. A sleek hungry animal, that had somehow been tamed to wear a suit. The taming didn't seem to go very far in though.
"Now ... where were we? Oh right, you didn't think you could stand still for what I was doing. Well come here and lay down and we'll try it this way. Okay?" Krycek walked past Mulder and headed for the bed. He pulled the covers back which in turn sent his jacket and tie flying to the floor. He glanced at them and tried to decide if it was worth picking them up. He thought better of it; the trousers were already a mess so they were going to the cleaners anyway, he assessed.
Mulder watched with rapt attention at the ease with which Krycek moved. He had the grace of a panther. His body was solid and muscular; Mulder's eyes were drawn to the erect cock that stood away from the crinkly mahogany curls. It was beautiful. He could think of no other word to describe it. He always thought of the male genitalia as pretty funny looking but this ... this was an art form. The sound of Krycek's voice broke his reverie.
"Fox? Come on over here. I would love the pleasure of you in my bed right now. I want to feel your skin next to mine and pick up where I left off."
Mulder convinced his legs to walk the few feet to the bed and stood in front of the other man. He reached to stroke Krycek's smooth cheek with the backs of his fingers and felt them snagged in a strong grip. Krycek brought the fingers up to his mouth and gently sucked each one never breaking their stare. Mulder felt his cock twitch while his mind did a replay of just exactly what that mouth was capable of doing.
Krycek let go of the hand and placed his own on Mulder's shoulder. He gently pressed until Mulder got the message and sat on the bed. He followed by kneeling next to him and guided him back into a prone position. He felt the tension in Mulder's body as he helped him lie back and whispered "Baby it's alright, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to touch you and taste you like before. I want to make you feel good. Will you let me do that? I'll stop any time you want. You just tell me. I'll stop if you tell me to, I swear." You're a liar Alex, and a damned good one at that. What are you going to do if he says 'stop'? Krycek ignored the voice in the back of his head and continued talking in a quiet soothing voice.
"Are you okay?" Krycek's concern was genuine. This would turn out better all round if he could secure Mulder's co operation.
"I'm fine. Would you ... " The rest of Mulder's sentence was swallowed as his mouth was covered by a deep long searching kiss.
"Would I what?" Krycek slid sensuously over Mulder's body, trying to come into as much contact with his skin as humanly possibly. It was as dangerous as touching dry ice. His nerve endings screamed at the contact but he went back for more because it felt so good and he had waited so long. He didn't think he would ever get enough.
Krycek moved down Mulder's lithe body until his mouth was centered over the straining cock, hands pinning Mulder's hips to the bed. He slid his mouth over the hardness and sucked, not hard enough to make Mulder come, just hard enough to make him beg for more.
Mulder tried to discern one intense sensation from another but gave up at the exact moment his aching hard cock came into contact with Krycek's wet open mouth. "Oh God," was all he managed to say as his body strained upward to make deeper hotter contact with the cool precise mouth, but Krycek pulled back on each thrust. Mulder bit back a scream and settled for a groan when the mouth pulled away all together. "Alex ... please, please don't stop. You can't do that and then just stop!"
"Oh hey, easy, I'm just getting warmed up. We need to take it slow. I want this to go on for hours."
Mulder pulled Krycek back up his body and kissed him again, tearing through his mouth like it was a last dying wish. He wanted more. He begged with his own mouth and eyes; he begged with his whole body. He looked for the answer in the cool glint of sea blue green eyes and was granted salvation.
Krycek gladly gave all. He found the soft peak of tender nipples and licked at them lightly, first one then the other, feeling them stiffen under his tongue. He blew soft cool streams of air over them and watched them harden into small pebbles. He sucked and nipped until he heard Mulder's breath grow harsh and jagged and watched as his body moved in a private obscene rhythm. He stopped, knowing that any more contact would be more pain than pleasure.
He slid down to the hard erection. His own ached as well but he knew Mulder's ached more. He touched the very tip of it with his tongue and licked up the salty bitter syrup that had leaked out. Its taste was sharp and he welcomed it. He gently licked and kissed the underside and heard the moans that started in Mulder's belly. He turned his body to give himself more freedom with his right hand while his left arm took most of his weight. With a lazy touch he stroked the inside of Mulder's thighs until he felt the skin quicken and the muscles twitch their collective response. He fondled the sac that had grown heavy. He sucked deeper on the swollen cock. Mulder's hands strayed down to clutch two fistsful of sheeting, his neck and torso arching, his hips thrusting up to meet the soft icy hot mouth. Krycek slowed his mouth and hand and listened to the reaction. Soft breaths that turned to full throated groans. He pulled off and was met with a hiss and a plea. "Oh God no ... it feels so good ... please ... please don't stop, not now, not yet."
Krycek moved part way up and stroked the sweat dampened hair and cheek and whispered to Mulder. "Baby, listen to me. I know it feels good but I can make it feel better, will you let me? You can tell me if you don't like it, and I'll stop ... alright?" He didn't bother waiting for an answer as he slid back down to claim the swollen cock as his own once more.
"Alex!!" Mulder's voice was tight with panic. It shocked Krycek into stopping. What? What?! I haven't even *done* anything yet.
"What is it? Easy now, tell me what's wrong Fox." Calm and soothing on the outside; torn to shreds on the inside. Fuck. Please don't tell me to stop, I know what I said but I never in a million years thought you would take me up on it. Krycek's thoughts were tripping over each other while he strove to maintain a calm lazy facade. He leaned up on one elbow and looked up towards Mulder's flushed face. Catching and holding the bright hazel eyes with his own, Krycek waited, trailing his fingertips absently along the shaft of Mulder's erection.
"You're not ... You don't ... " Mulder couldn't say it, he tried to spit the words out but he just couldn't. He was already too confused and the sensations in his cock were trying to take over his brain and keep him from thinking rationally. Oh God. I'm not so sure about this anymore, I know what you want but I don't think I can go through with it and this feels so good and I don't know what to do. The words was clear enough in his head but died unspoken in his throat when he heard Krycek's husky voice.
"I just want to touch you baby, I can make you feel so good by just touching you. Let me do that. Just let me touch you. I won't do anything else, I promise. And if you don't like it I'll stop." He said the words quietly and gently, as he kissed the hot skin of Mulder's shoulder. Say 'yes' Fox, because at this exact moment in time I'm lying right through my teeth to you. Let's not make this too difficult here. I'd hate like hell to have to stop now: I don't think I could and it would be a damn shame if things turned ugly. Say 'yes', c'mon, you can do it. Shit ... help me out here God. Krycek waited for the answer to his irreverent prayer.
"Okay, okay, just touching, right? You're not going to ..." Mulder stopped to take a deep breath and let the panic recede to an almost tolerable level. Right then and there Alex Krycek believed in the power of faith and cut the other man off before he could falter some kind of conclusion to his sentence.
"Right. Just touching." Krycek hoped he sounded as reassuring as possible, what with his heart stuck in his throat and all. "I want you to draw your legs up a bit, keep your feet flat on the bed. It'll help us both if you do that. Okay?" He whispered the words so Mulder would have to settle down to hear them. He touched the strong thigh closest to him and felt the muscle quiver under his fingertips.
"Yeah, okay." Mulder pulled his long legs up some and dropped them open. He picked his head off the pillow in time to see the dark head next to his hip lick at parted lips and slide the partially open mouth over his rigid cock. He looks like a wolf ... Mulder's thoughts ended abruptly when he felt every smooth surface and jagged edge of that mouth and the sensations pushed his mind over the edge into a free fall once again.
Krycek could feel the tension leave Mulder's tight body as he gently sucked and pulled, only to be replaced by a completely different tension. He slipped his mouth off for a heartbeat, long enough to wet his right middle finger and then sank his mouth down on the engorged head again. He flattened his tongue and laved at the underside once more. He slipped his wet finger down over the heavy balls to the opening behind them. Mulder twitched and tightened but soon gave in to the light, lazy circles that were being traced around the snug hole.
Krycek stopped his mouth, pulled up and looked off to his side at Mulder. "Is this okay? Are you alright?" He knew the answer, which was why he took the risk of asking. He continued with his mouth. Mulder tried to form words but in the end looked like a fish out of water. Mouth open and gulping for air. His throat muscles working hard at saying nothing.
Krycek felt the heavy balls stir and begin to draw tight to Mulder's body. He slacked off with his mouth. Oh no no no you can't come this soon. I'm nowhere near done. He took his hand away from the opening and gently but firmly worked the balls back down with his finger and thumb around the base of the sac.
From somewhere deep in his chest Mulder pulled up a whimper and released it in hopes that it would be enough to convey what he wanted, what he desperately needed. His reward was Krycek's cool restrained mouth dropping kisses over the pulsing cock and heavy sac. Not nearly enough as far as he was concerned but it would have to do. Contact was contact no matter how teasing a touch it used. Krycek smiled and drew more gentle circles around the tightened muscle. It didn't take much longer for the area to relax a little and for him to make his next move.
"Fox? Can I do something? I'll give you back my mouth and you let me do something different, okay?" All the time he was saying the words he increased the pressure of his finger. Mulder heard fragments, the most important one being 'mouth'. He choked out the word 'yes' and hoped it was loud enough. It was.
Krycek changed his position and brought his hand away from the tight opening and used it to stroke the hard cock a few times. Mulder felt the welcomed pressure and gasped his pleasure loudly. Precum flowed like honey and Krycek smeared his finger over the inflamed tip thoroughly wetting it with the slick substance. Nature's lube he thought wryly.
He used his tongue to lap up the remains of the liquid only to have more flow. Oh fuck he tastes so good, what I wouldn't give to bring him off like this right here and now. He closed his eyes for a brief moment lost in the images that floated in his mind. He felt the balls in the soft sac start to tighten up and shift. He held them in place once more and watched as Mulder's head rocked from side to side.
A lot of good that did you dope, you'll have him coming in no time and you don't want that to happen, no matter how good he tastes. Keep him comfortably uncomfortable. If he comes he'll calm down a bit and start thinking straight maybe. And if that brain of his rolls into motion he may balk. We can't have that happening, not before he's gone too far to ever turn back again. Krycek smiled at his own thoughts and at the man writhing under his touch.
"Jesus Alex, please! How much do you think I can take?"
"More than you think you can take Fox, much much more." As much as I want you to take. Oh yeah, say that to him and watch his knuckles go white. Think of who you're dealing with here Alex, the man is a novice, a virgin for crying out loud, stop with the power games. There'll be time enough for that later if you do this part the right way now.
For once Krycek listened to his conscience; most times he didn't even acknowledge its existence but tonight was different. He returned to the task at hand, knelt between Mulder's open legs and gently nursed the straining angry cock in front of him. He increased the circling pressure of his finger against the ultra tight opening until he felt it give a bit. His finger slid and held somewhere between the first and second knuckle. He felt the shaft in his mouth twitch then soften a little and he listened for Mulder's reaction. I'd give anything to see his face right now, he thought.
Mulder felt the intrusion and sucked in a halting raspy lungful of air. He tensed his entire body as tight as he could. Every nerve ending popped and screamed in rebellion. Oh Jesus. He's not going to do this. He has to stop. He said he'd stop if I asked. "Alex." The name came out barely above a whisper.
Krycek pointedly ignored Mulder and applied more stimulation with his mouth, coaxing and drawing the cock back to life. He sucked hard and deep. He wrapped his tongue around the length, slid his mouth up and down and alternated pressure. His finger remained still while Mulder's body shaped itself around it. Only after he felt the tight ring of muscle relax did he try to slide in another fraction of a centimeter. Just enough and no more.
Oh my God ... maybe ... it's okay. Mulder's thoughts were in freefall. If I stop him he'll want to talk about it and if he talks to me he'll stop doing that with his mouth. Oh shit no ... he can't stop that. If I tighten up maybe he won't move his finger like that... it doesn't exactly hurt, it's just ... no it's not so bad ... it really isn't ... I can do this, it's okay ... oh yeah ... oh God it's really okay.
Alex felt the subtle difference in his partner's body and thought it was time to test the waters again. He stopped sucking, pulled off completely and waited for it to hit.
"Oh shit - Alex! Why did you stop?"
"You said my name so I thought you wanted me to stop. Are you okay with this? I'll stop, it's alright." He put on the most concerned look he could muster. Oh yeah sure I'll stop, I'll stop if you hold your gun to my head or maybe not even then. Krycek gave himself a mental slap. I've gotta stop thinking like this, sooner or later it's going to come out my mouth and I'll end up scaring him to death.
"Oh Christ no! Don't stop now."
"You're sure?" Putting even more concern in his voice now that he knew it was safe to do so.
"I'm sure." Mulder grinding out the words in sheer desperation.
Gotcha, thought Krycek and he leaned over to gently suck once more on the silky hard shaft. He felt Mulder relax and sigh. He continued the slow but steady exploration with his imbedded finger until it could reach no further. Krycek slowed and deepened the pull of his mouth then increased the movement of his finger. He heard Mulder's breath go ragged and shallow and felt his body move in counterpoint to the gentle probing. Now or never he thought and slowly withdrew his finger, then took his mouth away too.
"No Alex ... damn you!" Mulder's voice was raw and scratchy. Krycek slid up to cup the hot flushed face.
"Sshh baby, take it easy, just give it a second or two and you can have it all back. You like that? You want more? I know you do. Want it to feel even better? I can do that too, will you let me?"
"Oh God yes ... no wait ... what are you going to do?" Mulder's voice beginning as a blurred groan, but sharpening to a wary edge.
"It's the same thing, just a touch baby. It'll feel so good and if it doesn't, if you decide you don't like it, I'll stop. You just tell me and I'll stop." No I won't. I'll cuff you to the fucking bed if I have to, but I know I won't stop. There is no way in hell I'm stopping now. Not the CIA or the FBI or the alien Overmind can save your sweet ass right now. You don't need to know that though, so you just keep on believing me and we'll be fine. Krycek masked his harsh thoughts with a gentle smile.
Krycek's soft gaze darkened as he looked at the sleek body of his partner. It was so tense, every tendon had an edge to it, every muscle flexed tight and ready to spring. You're so close. C'mon Fox we're headed for the home stretch here. I'll make it good for you I promise. I want you to like it; I want you to keep coming back for more. Mulder nodded his head.
"Okay baby, just relax." Krycek leaned over, softly kissed Mulder's lips and smoothed his damp hair. Oh ... that mouth, it must feel so damn good. Maybe ... yeah maybe later, maybe in the morning.
Krycek slid back down in between Mulder's open legs once again. He noticed the taut muscles in the open thighs and looked down to the matching ones in the calves. So close. All he had to do was touch the semi erect cock and it bobbed back to life. It hardened in his hand before he had the chance to stroke it. He watched the precum gather at the tip. It's not enough, I'm gonna need help, he thought as he eyed the nightstand drawer. Oh man ... now how do I do this without scaring him? Fuck ... there has *got* to be some lube down at this end somewhere ... maybe under the bed.
Krycek looked at the edge of the bed and tried to gauge the distance, the length of his arm and the angle of his body. Yeah ...if I stretch I could probably do it. He set up Mulder with a slow easy comfortable stroking rhythm and went to work.
He stretched as far as his body would allow and slowly slid his hand up and down under the length of the boxspring until he felt his muscles burn in retaliation. His fingertips lightly raked over something small and cool. He felt it move. Yes! That's it! Oh please let me get this, he silently implored no one in particular. He tapped gently with his fingertips until the tube moved within his reach. Got it!
He wrapped his long fingers securely around the small object, pulled it out from under the bed and smiled in triumph. Quickly he shot a glance at Mulder, who was far more concerned with what was going on at the center of his body than with paying any kind of attention to the gymnastics that Krycek had just performed.
Krycek stopped stroking and started kissing the hot skin on the inside of Mulder's thigh. Long wet sucking kisses that made the muscles tense and shiver in response. He ran his tongue close to the swollen balls but didn't touch them. He heard Mulder whimper an felt him move to find the wet mouth again. He unscrewed the top to the tube and squeezed a small amount of the jelly into his hand and let it warm.
He generously coated two fingers with the warm jelly, slid them down to the tight opening. He lifted enough to watch Mulder's face as he drew the same lazy circles he had drawn before. He felt the opening give and smiled. "Good baby, really good, now you're getting the hang of it. Relax and let me in." His voice was soothing and quiet.
He slipped the first finger in for a moment then withdrew and pushed them both in. He waited for the muscle to relax again and pulled the silky hard shaft into his mouth and sucked lightly. He scraped the length gently with his teeth and felt it twitch. He heard Mulder groan and his lips tightened a little more in a stifled smile. He deepened his pull and forced his throat to relax. He took all he could and savored every inch. He felt the pressure of the tight chamber increase on his fingers, milking them. He curled his fingers and as he touched the hidden gland Mulder's whole body arched and tensed in response. The hoarse sound of Mulder's voice resounded off of the walls. Krycek's lips tried again to form a smile, then he touched it a second time.
Mulder had felt the pressure and waited for the penetration. Knowing what was coming had made it a little easier to handle. It didn't feel so intrusive to him this time; he relaxed. He felt the fullness leave only to have it replaced by more. He instinctively tightened up but willed his body to obey and accept. The gentle fingers moved in and out with a slow steady rhythm. He had felt Krycek's hot sweet mouth slip over his erection once more and gave himself up to enjoying all of the sensations. Any remnant of guilt he may have had was gone. He groaned in pleasure. When the long fingers turned, an explosion of sensations rocked his body. His back arched, he white knuckled the sheets to the point of cramping his hands and ground out a guttural unintelligible sound. Before he could recover, his body responded to the touch again.
Ohmygod! What the hell is he doing? Ohmygodohmygodohmygod ... the stars cleared and he heard a quiet voice off to his left.
"Hey baby? Is that okay?"
Krycek's voice cut through the sound of the rapid pounding of his own heart echoing in his ears. His body coiled and grasped at the fine edges of an orgasm that needed more for release. Nothing more was granted and there he stayed on the border between heaven and hell; waiting.
"Alex ... please." Mulder's voice was more breath than sound. His eyes were bright and feverish. His lean tight body shivered as the sweat on his skin cooled him. Krycek looked down at the straining cock and knew he couldn't tease him much longer. He didn't want to cross the line into real pain. Time to make the move.
"Baby I want to take it further, I want to ... I want to do something else, please?" Krycek asked quietly. The not so dull ache in his cock had risen to his voice and betrayed his emotions. He had to know what it felt like to be inside this man. He'd do it carefully, gently, kindly: but he'd do it.
"What do you want to do Alex?" Mulder knew the answer before he asked. He reached up and pulled Krycek into a brutal searing kiss.
He poured every ounce of passion he could find into it, trying to stoke up the heat of his own arousal and need against the fine chill of fear and apprehension. His body reacted to the touch of Krycek's skin, Mulder moved and ground up against him in an effort to feel more. He ran his hands down the smooth silky skin of Krycek's back and felt the warmth under his fingers. He had never felt anything so good in his life. Are you as close as me? Mulder silently questioned. You don't show it, you don't act it but I think you are. You just hide it better.
Krycek broke the kiss first and dipped his head low to Mulder's chest. He caught one of the tawny brown nipples between his teeth and sucked at it gently. He felt the hot body beneath him move and thrust as he switched to the other nipple. He caught the hands that flew to his head and held them tight in his own. He looked straight into Mulder's eyes and took a deep breath.
"I want to know what you feel like baby. I want to be inside you. Just for one second. I won't hurt you, it won't hurt you, I swear. Please. Will you let me try?" Krycek tried to keep his voice level but he knew the other man heard the soft tremor and catch. Please say yes. I can't force you on this. I'll torment and tease and bring you to the edge and back a hundred times but I can't just cold bloodedly rape you. But I'll lure you and drive you and drag you if I have to. Please say 'yes', please don't leave me to find out how much I can justify to myself.
Mulder could feel that rock hard cock bumping against his hip and wondered what it would feel like inside of him. His own hardness twitched electrically at the thought. He was so hard, so achingly close. He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them again.
"Tell me what to do." Tell me how to survive this.
"Nothing baby, you just relax for me. Stay on your back, I want to be able to look at your eyes, okay?"
"No ... I want to do something, tell me what to do Alex." Give me something to focus on, apart from the fact that I am about to let you ... Mulder's heartbeat spiraled upwards on a rising tide of panic. Or something.
"How's your self control Fox?" There was a cool edge to Krycek's voice that brought Mulder nicely back into focus. Heart pounding certainly, but in excitement, nothing else.
"I would have thought you knew the answer to that better than anyone." The words were razor sharp, a challenge. I've always stayed away from you, and now I wish I hadn't.
Krycek nodded his head and said softly, "Don't come, hold back. Can you do that? If you can, I'll make it worth the wait, I promise."
Mulder acknowledged Krycek's seductive promising threatening instruction with a slow dip of his head. But he knew that thinking about not coming was not the best way of not coming. He needed a ... distraction. Rising to his knees, erection standing proudly away from his body he said "Let me," touching the tube in Krycek's hand. Krycek looked at him in amazement, holding fast to the slick. His head was at war with itself: half saying 'let him', the other half fighting bitterly saying 'no, I want to control this myself.'
"You sure?" Dreading that Mulder would overestimate his own courage, and start something that would end by spoiling the steady momentum of the situation.
"No, but let me anyway."
A measured beat of time passed before Krycek silently handed off the tube. Don't get too used to winning Mulder, he thought, smiling tightly, eyes glittering dangerously. It'll happen only as often as I allow.
Mulder returned that tight smile with softer eyes and pulled Krycek into a sudden embrace. Using his right arm to take their weight he lowered both of their bodies to the bed. Krycek's eyelids fluttered at mixed sensations, sinking into the cool sheeting then moving upwards to make contact with the hot skin that covered his own. He pulled himself up and leaned back on his elbows, his eyes tracking Mulder's every movement as he rose once again to his knees.
Squeezing some of the jelly out Mulder held it in his hand to warm it. Looking up at Krycek's face he gave an unsteady smile, his eyes showing apprehension and excitement.
Krycek felt the light touch of warm fingers on the tight skin of his hip and shuddered, his head dropping back. The fingers vanished but their heat lingered leaving marks that were felt, not seen. Closing his eyes he drew a long quiet breath and waited for the touch to return. He fought, nearly lost the silent battle to maintain his composure when the warm slippery fingers gently wrapped around his hard cock. Featherlight touches stroked and slicked him.
My God he's so hard! Mulder's first visceral reaction was followed by a more analytical one: he's not as big as I - feared. I'm bigger... but he's not exactly small either ... this could be ... Mulder's assessment ran as he tentatively grasped the hardened cock. Watching and feeling where his fingers rested around the thick shaft he pushed back the tide of fear that threatened, focused instead on the feel and sound of the silky cock as it slipped slowly through his hand. His thumb traced the vein that ran up the underside, around the crown. A gentle stroking rhythm gave it life in his hand; pulsing, twitching. He caught a sharp musky scent, the sight of the pearl of precum as it beaded at the tip then leaked over the side, down to wet his fingers. He swallowed hard, absently licking his lips. Utterly lost in the experience he leaned down to dab the slit with his tongue, swirling lazily about the head. Damn, it tastes *good*. A loud sharp hissing noise pulled him up fast from his thoughts. Realizing what he had done he looked at Krycek to gauge the effect only to be pinned by the bright blue green eyes.
At Mulder's first hesitant touch a shiver had run through Krycek. Oh fuck no ... it's too gentle, too sweet, he had pleaded mentally. I can't take this. You give me sweet and gentle and I want to drive into you with the force of a jackhammer. He bit back the words, opened and focused his eyes on Mulder's hands watching intently as small tendons danced just under the skin at each change of movement. His eyes shifted to Mulder's face; lost in concentration, his tongue darting out to lick full lips. Brown hair fell over his high forehead as he bent his head lower, lower, until his tongue slipped out from between his lips and licked the tip of Krycek's cock.
Krycek's heart pounded in his ears, every nerve ending in his body relocated to that one spot and sizzled. His breath caught and stayed in his throat when the hot wet tongue slid slowly around the head. Oh fuck yes, please, more, he silently begged. His lungs burned. Then he realized it had to stop before it went too far. I can't come now! No baby you have to stop, he thought. The sound of air fighting its way through his clenched teeth broke the silence.
"Fox..." He hissed, looking into heavy eyes. A small smile broke the severe line of his face. "You have to stop, okay? No more. C'mon baby." He dragged in a breath, digging deep for self control. Oh fuck we have to do this now, right now no more waiting.
Mulder slid up a short distance to look unflinchingly into Krycek's eyes. It's now; it's going to happen now. He searched inwardly for real fear only to find little more than faint apprehension.
Krycek gently pushed Mulder to his back. "Just like before. Nice and slow, I won't hurt you."
"Okay, what ... " Mulder's question was caught in the space between a slow blink and a deep breath, then immediately soothed away by a light kiss and quiet words.
"Nothing, you don't do anything, just relax and let me in, okay?"
Their eyes locked for one long moment of silence.
"Okay." So low, less than a whisper.
Krycek found the tube once again. Smearing a good amount of jelly on his fingers he watched Mulder's eyes darken and saw his cock lift.
Krycek moved to his knees, sliding between the opened legs, dipping his head; sucked gently on the tip, tasting once more the sharp flavor that seeped out. He pulled the head deep into his throat then slowly released, repeating the action until he felt Mulder thrust into his mouth as he had done before. He slowed his movements and lightened the pull; soft sounds of protest hung in the air.
"Shhh baby, almost there, almost home." He slid his slickened fingers behind the heavy balls and found the tight opening again. It blossomed under his touch as one then two fingers tickled their way inside the tight entry. Steady, slow probing until they sank easily to the last knuckles. His mouth tasted the shaft for a final time before he slowly teasingly withdrew his fingers. Mulder's breath went shallow as his moans increased. His back arched and he cried out "Alex ... please," in a voice hoarse with need, a body coiled tight, waiting, begging for more.
"Easy baby, I'm right here, right here." Right where you want me to be, I sincerely fucking hope. Krycek moved up over Mulder's open legs and felt the hot electric sensation as hard shafts rubbed against one another. Oh Jesus ... thoughts shattered into bright sparks. From a distance he heard his name, snapping him back to attention.
"It's okay, I won't hurt you, I promise, I won't hurt you." The head of his cock rested up against the entry. He looked at Mulder's feverish eyes and smiled. "Keep looking at me baby, I want to see your eyes." They'll tell me all I need to know.
Gently, with more care than he could remember ever taking at any other time, he pushed the head slowly into the snug hole, a fraction at a time. He felt the chamber tighten against the intrusion, then relax in acceptance. "C'mon Fox, it's okay baby, just relax." His voice was steady and controlled but his mind spun out and away. Oh fuck yeah, tight, so tight ... I haven't fucked a virgin in ... months ...
Mulder's breath came in shallow gulps. Willing his body to obey he tried to relax as he felt the head slowly push into him. Oh God! His thoughts disintegrated into fragments. It burns - it hurts - doesn't it - it's too much - it's too -
He concentrated on breathing; long slow deep lungsful of air. His thoughts cleared a little. It's okay, it's not so bad, it's just pressure and fullness ... He could hear Krycek's soothing voice.
"Open your eyes Fox, let me see your eyes."
Slowly Mulder relaxed enough to lift his eyelids and look straight at Krycek as a hand reached to caress his cheek and brush away a stray hank of hair.
"You okay?" You have to be because I can't stop now, I simply can't. Krycek held on, waiting for an answer.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm good." Mulder knew he sounded as brusque and matter of fact as if he was reassuring Krycek he was unhurt after an outbreak of gunfire. But he was afraid that if he let any of his emotions show, he wouldn't be able to stop them all spilling out.
Krycek heard only the clear determination in Mulder's voice, and settled in with a slow cautious press and withdraw, back in again.
At first Mulder lay passive, struggling to stay relaxed and accepting. Then tentatively he arched up to meet the next slow gentle push, faltered, tried again as Krycek slowly pushed all the way in and pulled most of the way out. The resistance in Mulder's body diminished as he met the gentle thrusts. The motion became easier, the pace more certain, their bodies beginning to work in tandem, harsh breaths blending into quiet moans and gasps. Slick bodies brushed close than backed away as they moved in counterpoint to the slow tempo.
Mulder was totally absorbed in the sensations filling his body and mind. Sweet possession, release, a hot saturation unlike anything he had ever experienced. He arched toward the pressure and fullness, his aching cock brushing against rock hard muscles. His hand found his own hardness and began a slow matching rhythm. Trapped helpless between two points of merciless pleasure ...
"Oh Christ, yes, that's it ... " Krycek was struggling with the basics of communication, his cock sinking deeper and deeper into the tight tunnel. He thrust gently, and again. "Easy, just relax, good, oh God ... " Krycek's litany was spinning into undirected nonsense when a strong hand dug deep into the clenched muscles of his shoulder. He sucked a sharp breath in through clenched teeth, almost grateful to the pain for grounding him. "What baby? Are you okay? Am I hurting you?" Mulder looked up, his eyes blacker than coal, looking but not seeing. His breathing was harsh, scraping through his dry throat with an agonizing edge. Fuck! What did I do to him?
"Fox are you okay?" Please tell me I didn't hurt you, Krycek's eyes were silently begging.
"Yeah", this time the sound was something close to soft amazement. Krycek's gaze shifted to take in as much of the body beneath him as possible. He felt something tickle his belly and caught a glimpse of Mulder's right hand wrapped tightly around his own shaft, stroking and pulling. "I'm fine, I'm ... fine."
"Don't come." Krycek husked the words out as a plea.
"I won't come." Mulder sounded like he was trying to impress his resolve on himself too. "Tell me Alex. Tell me what it feels like. What I feel like."
What do you feel like? Krycek repeated the question in his mind, buying himself a few precious seconds before trying to answer the impossible. "You feel ... so hot, and tight, and soft ... " he searched for better words, something that would make it all clear, but language was simply inadequate. It had to be ... experienced.
Krycek slowed, stopped the gentle rock of his hips, a gradual smile spreading over his handsome features. Dipping his lips to Mulder's right ear he whispered seductively, "I can't explain. You need to do it to know. Do you want to know?"
Mulder stilled too, suddenly wide eyed, startled. Oh shit ... wait a second, I thought all I had to do was relax ... He was distantly aware that before tonight he would have presumed it would be less threatening to do this to a man than to have it done to himself. Now he wasn't so sure. Besides, Alex had expended such time and care on him, Mulder wasn't sure he had the control to return the favor.
He tried to piece together something that would convey his uncertainty without implying an actual refusal. "I thought ... I didn't think ... don't you ... " The rest of whatever it was he was trying to say was sealed inside his mouth by a deep hungry kiss, and then forgotten as the gentle thrusts started again.
Krycek broke the kiss to ask the question once more. "So, do you want to?" His eyes glittered bright in the half light. C'mon baby, I would give anything to have you inside of me, anything to feel you cover me with your body and pump into me.
"Yeah. I want to." Mulder resolutely refused to allow himself to consider how long he'd been flirting with this particular scenario in his imagination. Five minutes. Five months. Five years ...
Krycek flashed a killer smile. "Okay. I hate to do this to you but if it's gonna happen, I have to move." He pulled out slowly; rewarded with a soft groan. "Yeah, I know, but I promise, it will be worth it." Rolling to his side he found the tube of slick then got up and off the bed, knelt down on the floor. "C'mon ... you have to move too."
Mulder followed suit. "Why?"
"Because you are about to find out the advantages of a really low bed."
Mulder's eyes widened with sudden realization then narrowed. "So how come you didn't make me... "
"It's your first time Fox, it would have been too deep. I didn't want to hurt you." Handing off the tube he continued: "You need to stretch me like I did you ... and slick yourself, unless you want me to do that honor?" Mulder took the tube, shook his head.
"If I let you touch me anymore I won't have the chance to find out how this feels."
"No problem." Krycek lifted both palms in a lighthearted 'hands off' gesture. Mulder squeezed the jelly into his hand once more, letting it warm between his two palms, then he efficiently coated himself. Adding more to his hand he said, "Now you."
The sight of Krycek bending forward to lay over the edge of the bed was one Mulder knew he would remember for a good long time. He knelt behind him and cupped the sweet rounded flesh in his hands. He heard a groan and wondered vaguely if it was his own. He ran his hands over the muscle then dipped his fingers in the crack. The snug opening was there waiting for him, begging him to enter as the body moved under his touch. Mulder drew light circles around the tightly closed hole remembering how good it felt when it was done to him.
Oh fuck don't tease me, I know I did it to you but I was coaxing you along. Please don't tease me, I don't need any convincing. Krycek pushed back against the finger hoping he could convey his need without words.
Without warning Mulder sank his finger into the snug chamber. It gave easily, enveloping him in tight hot softness. Slowly he worked the finger in and out, but the push of Krycek's body back against his hand and his soft moan of pleasure proved he was ready for more. Mulder pulled out, replacing one finger with two, found his way in again. The chamber yielded to his touch, the moans grew louder, more frenzied.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"You're not going to hurt me. Now. Please."
Krycek felt the cockhead against the opening and held his breath ... please ... do it ... now. Split second of resistance followed by a red hot tidal rush of sweet fullness. His long low agonized groan nearly drowned out the startled gasp of "Alex?" from Mulder's mouth.
Mulder tried to stop but he was losing himself in the sensation of the tight channel swallowing his cock. He just needed some assurance that even one of them was going to survive this experience.
"I'm fine baby, Jesus don't stop now ... please don't stop ..." Krycek bucked hard against the welcome intrusion, grinding out another groan as he won some more of Mulder's length. "Come on, oh Christ, come on all the way ... "
Mulder pressed forward, one hand on the small of Krycek's back, grinding his pelvis even further into the soft folds of the bed clothes. Mulder tried for the same ruthlessly controlled pace that Krycek used on him, but the rage of pleasure tearing along his nerves was driving him forwards, and then Krycek started to jerk and twist against him, a ferocious tempo that had Mulder struggling to both resist and respond.
"Not like this, I'll hurt you," Mulder gasped, his hips thrusting against every movement Krycek made.
"You're not going to hurt me. Oh Jesus please ... do it hard."
Mulder's brain was screaming a refusal, but his body was already cooperating. "You were so careful ... " He was gathering up the ragged shreds of his self restraint, trying to make something of them.
"You were a virgin." Krycek was clenching two handsful of bedsheet as if in agony, but he was struggling towards Mulder's thrusts, not away from them. "I'm used to it baby."
Mulder felt something swell inside his chest, some need to do away with Krycek's assurance. To wipe away the memory of the other men who pressed themselves into Krycek's pristine flesh and made him accustomed to this. Mulder took over the brutal pace that Krycek had set and drove harder.
"Oh Jesus yes ... fuck. Do it hard ... oh Christ. Yes, come on. Oh please ... Fuck, fuck yes." Krycek was grinding out the words one after another not knowing what was said and what was thought. He was so close he could taste it. He fisted the sheets with his left hand, his right stroking his painfully hard cock.
Mulder slapped his hand over the one clutching the sheets and was greeted with a death grip. The long elegant fingers overlapped his shorter square ones until the hands came as close to one as physically possible. He covered the right hand with his own, increasing the pressure on the engorged shaft.
An internal flame deep within Krycek rose higher at the intimate touch. Turning his head he looked into the wide eyes and leered, teeth bared, lips tight; caught between a grimace and a grin. He tried to form words, to speak his need but couldn't. His left hand shot out from under the grip, curling his arm up and back around he grabbed at the back of Mulder's head, yanking him close to eye level by his hair.
The pinpoints of pain searing his scalp forced a yelp from Mulder. A protest formed on his lips only to be eaten by the open waiting mouth. The double edged sensation of pain and intense pleasure fueled his own flame and he drove harder and faster in the hot satin muscle.
Krycek landed the kiss as close to the full mouth as he could, his throat strained round to reach, while his mind spiraled up to catch the beginnings of his orgasm. 'He has no idea what this is gonna be like' was his last coherent thought before his muscles contracted around Mulder's cock and dragged him into the fray with its milking motion.
He was right this feels so good, so tight ... Mulder's thoughts splintered into bright points of color as the powerful muscle squeezed his cock drawing him toward his own shattering orgasm. His heart pounded, he used up the air in his lungs in one long keening wail. He grabbed for the outstretched hand and held fast in an effort to keep a tenuous grip on his sanity. He could do nothing but lay over the broad back and lose himself in the hot sweet release.
"Oh fuck, oh fuck yes!" Krycek's climax was loud and violent. His body bucked as he spilled his seed over clean sheets and joined hands. Sweat glistened and highlighted taut muscles and tendons. Obscenities catching and breaking between groans and labored breathing. The final drops shuddered out of his twitching cock and he lay sated over the edge of the bed basking in the afterglow of one of the finest orgasms he could ever recall. It was worth it. Every false start, every anxiety attack, all of the waiting and wanting, it was all worth it. A soft puff of breath on his neck dragged him back from his thoughts. "Fox? You okay baby?" His voice was soft, muffled by the bed clothes.
"Mmmm, yeah but you could have warned me about what happens at the end." Mulder tried to sound indignant and failed miserably. He wanted to say more but couldn't find any words to describe what he felt so there he lay on the warm skin, soaking up the heat as his body cooled itself down.
"I know, I did think about that but then I got involved in other things." Krycek's voice conveyed the smile on his face. He listened to the light even breathing in his ear. "Hey baby ... c'mon, you're not as young as you think and your knees are going to hurt if you stay like that much longer." No response from Mulder other than a muffled hum. Krycek lifted one shoulder. "I want you to fall asleep on me but ... not like this, c'mon get up on the bed." He shifted his position, forcing the other man to move.
Mulder groaned his agreement, pulled himself onto the bed to lay on his stomach. He watched through bleary eyes as Krycek hoisted himself up off his knees, and crawled onto the wet sheets, dragging the covers with him.
"Alex?" Mulder was dragging a pillow into the crook of his arm, a very faint frown shading his forehead.
"Yeah baby?" Krycek lay back, having found an only moderately damp patch to stretch out on.
"I think ..." Mulder's face smoothed and his quiet voice trailed off surrendering to the powerful pull of sleep. Krycek smiled. Oh yeah ... definitely worth it, he thought. He reached to shut off the light, wrapped himself and his lover in the warmth of the comforter and let the sounds of light breathing lull him to sleep.
Mulder awoke with the beginnings of a headache only to find himself surrounded by damp tangled bedclothes. The cloying and unmistakable scent of sex and sweat hung in the air like a shroud. He realized he was hungry; cold and hungry, but he felt the hunger more. He shifted tentatively and sucked in a low groan, his muscles rebelling fiercely at the movement. He was sore, really sore. He felt aches in places he didn't know existed. Well no, I knew they existed last night but they didn't hurt then, at least not like this, he silently amended. Once fully awake he came to the conclusion only the front half of him was cold, the other half was pleasantly warm. He scooted backwards into the warmth and felt a soft moist breath on his neck. An arm loosely curled itself around his side and a hand strayed perilously close to his groin.
Oh well, I'm not *that* hungry, he reasoned. A distracted smile played over his lips while he stroked and petted the warm golden skin.
Streetlights and shop signs across the way cast an eerie glow into the semi-darkened room. Mulder looked around and took in the assorted clothing haphazardly strewn across the room. Oh my God ...what a night. Are we going to regret this move in the light of day? He pushed away the nagging thought, drew in a deep breath and released it as a long sigh.
Mulder focused on a shimmery gleam near the nightstand and leaned over for a closer inspection: a shirt button. Memories of the previous night flooded back, bringing another ache. This one was welcomed: it was heavy and sweet and centered squarely in his groin, dangerously close to the stilled hand.
It had started with a kiss. His thoughts did a slow rewind over the past 12 hours.
He moaned softly as his body fought against the shift of positions from side to back. He ran his hands through his tangled hair and scrubbed them down his face. Owww! Jesus ... what the hell ... lightly he touched the skin of his left cheek. That's hot ... it burns, he thought. Turning his head in Krycek's direction he looked at the sleeping man; his skin washed pale in the ghostly light. His eyes came to rest on the dark cast over the handsome face and jawline. It made Krycek look older, more dangerous. Yeah, like he needs more help in that department. Mulder smiled his appreciation of both the man and the thoughts. Leaning over he lightly smoothed the backs his fingers up the fine features feeling the stubble rake under them. Sure ... that could do it, he gave a rueful shake of his head, quickly pulling his fingers away as the sleeping figure stirred.
Krycek's naked body stretched with a languid sensuous fluid motion; the comforter fell away exposing the sleek well defined lines.
Mulder stared in rapt attention as the muscular body flexed, cat like, and awoke. Darkened eyes glittered to life under darker lashes, a soft tongue snaked out to moisten dry lips. "Hey ... come'ere, baby, it's not even daylight yet ... go back to sleep", his voice and tongue, still slow from sleep, husked the request. A strong hand reached out to take Mulder's wrist, pulling him closer.
Mulder leaned low to kiss the nearest cheek, feeling the stubble scrape his lips. Oh yeah, that could definitely do it, he thought as he touched his own face once more. He slid down until he was level with Krycek's eyes, lowering his own from the deep searching stare.
Oh no baby, don't turn away, please don't think this was wrong when it was obviously so right. Krycek held his breath, his long tapered fingers stroked the side of Mulder's face drawing the lowered eyes back to his own. "Regrets?" Krycek's voice barely a whisper. Please say no, I could take anything but regret. He kept quiet waiting for an answer.
Mulder smiled. "No, no regrets." The smile vanished. "You?" His voice danced along the edge of pain.
"Me? Regrets? I barely know the meaning of the word!" Krycek slid his hand to the back of Mulder's neck pulling him closer. "No baby, no regrets. Not about this. I've wanted you for a long time." He saw anxiety creep into the wide expressive hazel eyes. You are going to lose that haunted look if I have to fuck you blind, he mentally pledged, though he wisely he kept his thoughts to himself.
Kissing Mulder softly he whispered "Shhh baby, one step at a time. We'll talk about it in the morning. C'mon now, lay down next to me and let's get some sleep."